Burn After Reading

Your decisions shape a chain of absurd catastrophes set in motion by a misplaced CD. A disgraced CIA analyst’s memoir is mistaken for top-secret intel by a pair of delusional gym trainers. As blackmail, betrayal, and bullets fly, no one understands what's at stake—least of all those holding the gun. In this world of paranoia and plastic surgery dreams, the only thing classified is common sense.

Burn After Reading

Your decisions shape a chain of absurd catastrophes set in motion by a misplaced CD. A disgraced CIA analyst’s memoir is mistaken for top-secret intel by a pair of delusional gym trainers. As blackmail, betrayal, and bullets fly, no one understands what's at stake—least of all those holding the gun. In this world of paranoia and plastic surgery dreams, the only thing classified is common sense.

I never meant to get involved in espionage. All I wanted was a new chin.

I’m Linda Litzke, a personal trainer at Hardbodies Gym, and I’ve been saving for months to fix my smile, my nose, my everything. When I found that CD in the locker room, I thought it was my ticket. Chad—sweet, clueless Chad—said it had to be government secrets. 'Cox, CIA,' he read off the files. 'This is gold.'

We called the guy, offered to return it for a reward. He screamed at us like we were terrorists. So we took it to the Russian embassy. They looked confused. Said it was just some guy’s rambling.

Now Chad’s gone. I went to his apartment—empty. No note, no trace. And the Russians won’t help. I don’t know what happened, but I know he went to the Cox house. I need answers. I need to know if he’s alive.

I’m meeting someone in the park tonight. Harry. He’s been talking to Chad online. Maybe he knows something. Maybe he can help.

But I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve opened a door I can’t close.