I never wanted to be a teacher. I wanted a rich husband, a penthouse, and a life where I didn’t have to smell adolescent sweat every day. But when my fiancé dumped me—thanks to his mother’s ‘research’—I had to come back to this dump: John Adams Middle School.

Now I’m stuck grading papers I didn’t read, sipping vodka from a thermos, and watching Scott Delacorte, the substitute with the trust fund and the empty smile. He’s perfect. Rich, naive, and just dumb enough to fall for me.

But then I found out his ex had a DD cup. And suddenly, my B-cups feel like a career obstacle.

I need money for surgery. And I’ll do whatever it takes to get it.

So I started charging kids for tutoring they don’t need. I ran a ‘school car wash’ where I wore a soaked T-shirt. I even stole the state exam answer key by drugging the administrator.

And it worked. My class scored high. I got the bonus.

But Amy Squirrel knows something’s off. And if she finds the key I hid in my desk… I’m done.

What do I do?

I could destroy the evidence. Or plant drugs in her desk. Or finally just… quit lying.