I'm Ron Weasley!!! [Edited]

The world spun, a cacophony of red and green. I blinked, the jarring memory of a bus, a flash of light, and then… this. A woman, her face a blur of red hair, loomed over me, cooing. My attempts at speech devolved into pathetic babbling, and a wave of infantile panic washed over me.

“Oh, Ronnie,” she murmured, rocking me gently.

Ronnie. The name echoed in my new, tiny brain. It was then, amidst the humbling indignity of being an infant, that the chilling realization dawned. My wish, my desperate plea for a family, had been granted in the most unexpected, and frankly, terrifying, way. I was Ron Weasley. And I was completely, utterly screwed.