

A Virgin For The Player
Bullied without friends her entire life, Alice Grey hopes her college time will be different. She wishes to start over and make friends. But her hope shatters when it appears Nathan Douglas, her bully for six years, will attend the same college. Nathan Douglas is a promising future NHL player and a complete player on campus who finds pleasure in teasing Alice for being a virgin. Her embarrassment is his delight. But Nathan soon runs into a problem—every night, he experiences super realistic dreams where Alice is his future wife. Due to his dreams, Nathan begins to see Alice in a different light, but is there a happy ending when you catch feelings for the person who fears you more than death?Chapter 1 Chapter 1
Alice My name is Alice Grey, and I've never had a friend. I'm unsure why. It's not like I'm mean—quite the contrary, I'm friendly. Yet I've been bullied and alone my entire life. It started back in middle school. No one ever wanted to pick me when people called out names to form their teams for those dumb sports in school. I hung out in the back, introverted and afraid. Then when the person choosing for their team would finally reluctantly say my name, I always felt relieved to be remembered. I'm the type of person most people forget even exists. But maybe this will be my year. Today is my first day as a college freshman, and my hands and neck are covered in a cold sweat as I walk up the stairs. My heart is pumping a mile per minute. This year I will no longer be weak little Alice Grey! I will walk through these doors and become a new woman! Here is to a new future! I got nothing to fear! Or so I thought... Because sadly, life isn't as simple as it seems. The second I walk inside the building, my eyes stop on him. Nathan Douglas—the devil in hot guy's clothing. Set on this earth to torment me. Tall and imposing. Nathan sits on the stairs inside, surrounded by friends and girls. A shudder sweeps down my spine. In some people's eyes, Nathan might be a walking daydream: beautiful and an athlete prodigy. But in mine, he is a nightmare. I haven't seen him in two years. He is bigger now, definitely built for the sport he plays, hockey. Broad-shouldered and muscular, I bet he can deliver a nasty hit on the ice. But I'm not admiring him like the other girls are. I fear him. Nathan bullied me in middle school and half of high school before graduating. I still remember how he used to steal the drawings I carried and flip through them without my permission. He once smiled down at one drawing, saying, "Wow, perhaps you're the new Picasso, Alice?" Mean, mean, so damn mean! I still suffer nightmares from the humiliation that followed after that. Everyone called me Picasso for a year, and it was terrible. I still fear Nathan. That's why I stand rooted to my spot, but when those ice-blue eyes meet mine, the usual comments don't leave his mouth. I'm met with silence. Huh? There is recognition in Nathan's gaze. He definitely remembers me, but there aren't any emotions crossing his features—no hatred or disgust. He rakes me up and down and then quickly looks away. And that's how my first reunion with the guy who bullied me for six years goes. No words are exchanged, yet my heart is still clapping against my ribcage. A girl sitting next to Nathan spots me. She is pretty and leans close to his ear, whispering loud enough for me to hear. "Hey, isn't that Alice?""It is, isn't it?" Andrew, Nathan's friend, says. "I haven't seen her in a year." Everyone except Nathan falls into gossiping about me. They aren't very secretive, though. I can hear what they are saying. "Is she shorter?""No, I'm telling you, it's the Asian genes.""That's racist!""Who cares?""Shouldn't she be a doctor by now?" Everyone laughs except for Nathan, and the girl sitting next to him swats her hand as if to dismiss the racist jokes. "Stop it! Look at her! She looks terrified!" No, I'm not. I'm just baffled that people can still be so mean in college. My heart is aching, and I fear nothing has changed from high school. "Hey, Nathan. You used to call her Picasso, right?""I wonder if she still draws?" I keep my gaze on Nathan. Oddly enough, he doesn't even respond to his friends asking him questions about me. Maybe he has moved on from his bullying antics? It doesn't matter. I can't stand here like an idiot all day. I quickly make it past Nathan and his friends, hoping they won't notice my flaming cheeks as I climb the stairs. I'm in a hurry to find the room where my introduction day will take place. It isn't hard to find. There are other freshmen there, and I make it in time. The rest is kind of a blur. A teacher gives a speech. I receive my schedule, information about important deadlines, and the professors' office hours. The day passes with hours feeling like minutes. I'm now free to head home. I don't live in the dorms but with my family. As I wander across the parking lot, the hair on my back rises to stand on edge. Next to my tiny red Fiat borrowed from my mom stands Nathan, leaning against a black pickup truck. He is alone and smoking a cigarette. Ouch, what do I do now? I think about turning around to avoid him, but then I get angry with myself for being a coward. My mom always preaches, "You have to face your fears to overcome them!" Which will be my motto this year. Nathan doesn't scare me! Well... That is a straight-up lie, yet I still walk over to my car, but I'm not ignored. The second Nathan notices me, he steps forward. Out from the shadows, like the wolf ready to slaughter the lamb. His shadow falls over me, and I stand rooted to my spot as he towers above me. "Hello, Alice." Nathan's deep voice alone got the blood in my veins freezing over. Somehow, I manage to answer. "Hi..." He looks over at my car. "A red Fiat—how fitting for a midget..." With my heart pounding way too fast, I lift my chin to face him: dark hair and ice-blue eyes—perfect bone structure and stubble. He is beautiful and smells like expensive cologne. But I find his eyes cold, and his lips are far from smiling. I swallow thickly. "It's my mom's car..." I'm not sure why I felt the need to clarify. It just slipped out. Nathan's lips twitches. He is amused, probably knowing I'm nervous. I bet he feeds on my fear like a demon. "I see...""Yup...""It must be easy to find parking spots." Is he trying to make conversation? I can't tell what his deal is. "It is..." I mumble. "I'm surprised it's still working." My heart claps against my ribcage. "What is that supposed to mean?""Don't those cars often break?" Is he trying to insult me? I raise my voice a little, glaring at him. "Mine works perfectly fine, thank you." Amusement twinkles in his eyes as if he likes getting a rise out of me. "Okay." I send him another glare even as silence falls. Nathan doesn't say anything else, but he does, however, keep his eyes on me. It makes the hair rise on my arms when he makes no move to leave me alone. Why is he just standing there? I size him up, and my eyes zero in on his cigarette. "Should you really be smoking?" I ask in a low voice. "I mean... You're an athlete." I think I see him smirk, but I'm unsure. I can't keep my eyes on Nathan's face for too long without feeling like my heart might explode. So I keep averting my gaze. Nathan, however, isn't shy to speak or look at me. "Athletes can't smoke?" Shit. I didn't expect a follow-up question. I wet my lips. "Ummm...""Yes?" My ears burn in embarrassment as I mumble. "Smoking isn't good for your health." Humor lights his face. "No shit.""Yeah...""Maybe I should start smoking more than one package a day..." Is he messing with me? Regardless, I furrow my eyebrows. "No, why would you do that? You should quit your smoking habit. Believe me, your lungs would thank you." Nathan breathes a laugh. "Are you worried about me, Grey?""No, I'm just..." I take a deep breath. "Just don't smoke, okay?""And what if I don't want to quit?""Well, that would be a shame, Nathan. You will probably develop lung cancer early. Smoking is a stupid way to die." Silence falls again; it's like someone pressed pause. Nathan doesn't say anything, but I can feel his intense eyes moving over me as if processing my words. It makes me break out in goosebumps. Could the atmosphere get any more awkward? I'm unsure if the conversation is over, but I decide to walk forward—only for Nathan to step in my way. I freeze and lift my eyes to a formidable chest and a pair of muscular arms crossed over it. Okay. He is enormous and way taller than I remember. My heart is racing as I lift my chin to face him. His lips part."Is Alice Grey lecturing me about my smoking habits?""No." The corners of his mouth pinch when I take a step back. "It sounded like it... I wonder where you got all of that sudden courage from?""No, I'm not—" I hold my breath as Nathan's ice-blue eyes roam over my face. He stands too close, inches away, and probably more than a foot taller than me. "You cut your hair..." Why is that important? "I did...""Too bad," his eyes won't leave mine. "I liked it longer." My throat runs dry. But while I'm paralyzed by fear, more amusement washes over Nathan's handsome features. It gets worse the longer I stay silent. I should say something, but I can't form intelligent sentences. Can anyone blame me? This is the guy I feared for six years. This is the guy that made the entire school call me Picasso. I can't breathe in his presence! What does Nathan want from me? "I see you're as well-spoken as always. You really have a way with words, Grey," Nathan deadpans, yet I get the feeling his eyes are laughing at me. Regardless he steps away from me and heads to his truck. Though, before Nathan climbs in, his eyes travel to mine again. It's not a quick glance but a real stare followed by a smirk. Uh. Why is Nathan looking at me like that? Bewildered, I watch my enemy drive away without even telling me goodbye. But even with him gone, I stand in the same spot, trying to calm down my heart by pressing my hand against my chest. I was wrong earlier. With Nathan Douglas attending the same college, it seems this year won't mean a new future. I will still be the same Alice Grey. The weird girl who is constantly quiet and afraid. Perhaps I should just drop out of college? Because most of all, I would never like to see Nathan Douglas again.
Chapter 2 Chapter 2
Nathan My roommate Andrew is out with his girlfriend tonight. I'm alone in the frathouse since I seem to be the only one who couldn't care less about women and relationships. I'm a lone wolf, and even though women are drawn to me, I've been accused of looking intimidating. Probably because of my size. I'm a big guy, even for a hockey player. And I don't mean fat—fuck no. I'm shredded, broad-shouldered, and tall, VERY tall. It makes people skitter away from me like I'm Moses walking through the red sea. And I like that. People stay away from me, but sometimes— My heart pangs with hurt and anger when the memory of Alice Grey's frightened eyes comes to mind. Earlier in the parking lot, her entire face seemed to scream at me to get the hell away from her. Why does that bother me so much? I shouldn't care. Alice is a nobody. Yet it hurt when she looked at me like I was a monster. That tiny woman is so goddamn afraid of me. "Yeah, and whose fault is that dipshit?" I rake my fingers through my hair, growling at myself. "You brought this upon your fucking self." My words are the truth. I bullied Alice for six years. Have I grown up since then? Yes. But I'm still not her friend. It makes me laugh how she dared to point out that I should stop smoking. I smirk at that. It was impressive how Alice spoke up to me for the first time in history. But don't get me wrong, though. I'm not interested in Alice. She is the furthest away you can get from the women I'm used to dating. I wrap my blanket tightly around me. "Alice isn't my type at all..." I mumble that, and everything around me turns dark as I drift off to sleep. I'm not in the frathouse when my eyes open—that's for damn sure. I'm lying in a king-sized bed. My head is aching, and my throat feels parched. I blink repeatedly and freeze when my eyes land on a naked woman beside me. What. The. Fuck. Smooth pale skin. Curves for days and brown, mousy hair—my blood freezes over before I even see this woman's face. I know who this person is even before her dark eyes find mine. That round nose. That petite body. This tiny girl lying next to me is none other than Alice Grey. Somehow older, somehow much curvier than before, yet still as beautiful. "Oh, you're finally awake," Alice murmurs while spinning around to face me. Her smile is soft, like the one you give your lover when you're reunited. "Did you sleep well?" I stare at her, unable to stop my mind from spinning. Her mousy hair is spread over a white pillow. Her round cheek rests on her arm while she peers into my eyes. My heart squeezes. Why do I suddenly find her so beautiful? Though, that's not the point! "Alice... What are you doing in my bed?" I croak. "Your bed?" Alice giggles at me as if I've said something funny. Her eyes seem to sparkle, and her smile blossoms. "Don't you mean our bed?" I narrow my eyes. "Our bed?" Recognition seems to settle in her dark eyes. Her gaze grows curious, and then she laughs at me. "Oh my. Have all those hockey tackles finally gone to your head? Did you wake up this morning forgetting that we are married, Nathan? I'm your wife, silly—we share a bed. In fact, we share everything." Dazed by her soothing tone, I look around for the first time, noticing we are inside the kind of villa only a rich person could buy. Our bed must be worth a couple of thousand dollars alone. My heart beats faster, and I sit up a little too fast. "Fuck... I got up too fast..." I immediately get light-headed, and Alice worriedly places her hands around my arm. She can't fully encircle it with her tiny hands, and my eyes widen even more. "Holy fucking shit! I'm even more ripped than before! My arms they are... They are fucking huge!" Alice finds my eyes, laughing in amusement. "I know, right? I'm amazed by your arms too, Nathan. I'm lucky to have a shredded professional NHL player for a husband." I freeze. How Alice pronounces my name leaves me with this peculiar warm feeling in my chest. I peer down at her, and her smile makes me feel flutters. What is the matter with me?! This is Alice Grey! I shouldn't like her, yet my heart starts running faster the longer she looks at me with her gentle, caring eyes. I swallow thickly. "NHL player?" Her lips curl higher. "Yes—" Suddenly there is loud crying coming from downstairs? "Oh no!" Alice immediately gets up on her feet. "Something the matter?" I ask and notice the bump on her stomach. Woah. Okay. Is Alice pregnant? Wait, hold on! Is the kid mine?! "Lily is awake," Alice announces as if that should tell me something. She also meets my eyes with a smile. "You should come with me. Lily likes daddy the most. You should hurry.""I have... I have a daughter?" I gawk at her and feel the blood draining from my face. I can barely look after myself, and now I have a daughter?! I'm suddenly so fucking scared. Alice giggles. "You have four daughters, Nathan. Lily is the youngest, and then we have the triplets: Rachel, Julia, and Kaitlyn," she lovingly strokes her stomach. "And soon we will have five." I turn to stone. I have five daughters. Daughters. Five of them. Five. "Oh-my-fucking-god..." I run my fingers through my hair. Is this a dream? It must be. But what kind of fucking dream is this?! It all feels so realistic! I will need therapy after this! How can I even dream about something like this? I'm married to Alice Grey. We live together. I'm a professional NHL player. I HAVE FIVE FUCKING DAUGHTERS! I'm hyperventilating, barely able to stand straight as I climb up from the bed to follow Alice. "I don't feel so well..." I mumble. "You will feel better soon," Alice promises me while bouncing down the stairs. She looks over her shoulder now and then to make sure I'm following her. "You should hurry, Nathan. Lily is getting impatient.""I'm coming." She laughs. "Faster." My lips part in surprise. I find Alice beautiful, which is odd. I've never been interested in Alice, but she is only dressed in underwear. Her brown hair is shiny, and I swallow thickly when I see her breasts. They are larger, probably due to her pregnancy, and my cock stirs inside my boxers, wanting some of that. I inwardly slap myself. Calm down, you fucking freak. This is obviously a dream; stop drooling over Alice Grey! I calm down and hurry down the stairs. Alice is waiting for me. "In here." I follow Alice as she steers me into a nursery. She wears this sweet smile when she bends over a crib, and my heart races when I peek inside. There is a tiny head with black hair and curious eyes. I don't like babies, but my heart melts immediately. Somewhere in my head, a voice says "mine," and a smile spreads over my lips. "She is gorgeous..." I whisper. "She is, isn't she?" Alice picks up the little one and smiles at me again before handing her to me. "Here, she loves daddy the most." I'm almost scared to take the little one. Lily is so tiny that I'm close to tears already. I press her to my chest and stare down into her eyes. "Does she really love me the most?""Yes. Lily likes to be with daddy. You're her favorite person in the entire world. She feels the safest in your big arms." I can no longer fight the tears. My heart is beating way too fast, and my chest is constricting. Lily has so much hair on her head that it's sticking out in every direction. She looks like a lion. "She is so perfect," I whisper. "I know." Alice steps closer, meeting my eyes. I stare down at her with a heavy heart. I still can't believe that we are married. Alice is looking at me with eyes filled with affection. She is tiny, delicate. She has to stand on her tiptoes to dry a tear on my cheek, and my stomach does a little flip. "You have a big heart, Nathan," Alice whispers. "You may look intimidating, but your gentle heart is part of why I love you so much.""You love me?" Her eyes crinkle before she murmurs. "Of course. You're my soulmate, Nathan. I've never loved someone as much as I love you." Flutters spread inside me. They are involuntary, but there is nothing I can do to stop them. Being here with Alice is lovely. The dream continues, which is bizarre. I had expected it to come to an abrupt end. But of course, that doesn't happen. Alice cooks my "new family" breakfast, and I meet the triplets. They are similar in appearance, but they all have distinctive personalities. I fall in love with all of them. We head out to a park to throw a frisbee. We eat dinner, watch a movie before bed, and later when the kids are asleep, I'm alone inside the bedroom with Alice. "I had a great day today," Alice tells me while taking off her clothes. I've kind of fallen in love with her smile. "Thank you for taking us to the park and playing with the kids. I appreciate it. I'm starting to feel the pregnancy. I'm so tired." I'm taking off my clothes too, and my cock is hard. I have a fucking hard-on for Alice Grey—I want her. I fucking want her, and I never wish to wake up from this dream. Before I can stop myself, I tease her. "Too tired for sex?" Alice's eyes crinkle like they do whenever she is amused. Her smile is warm and affectionate. Can a woman be more perfect? I love everything about her: her soft feminine curves, breasts, and love handles. "I'm not too tired," Alice says, blushing a little. "I've wanted to put my hands on you all day." I lift my eyebrows. "You have?""Uh, yeah?" Alice's smile is bashful. "I love how hard you've worked out lately. My husband is a hunk, and I can't wait to touch you. Feel how solid you are underneath my palms when I ride you." Ride me? My cock likes that idea a lot. I strip out of my clothes, and then I approach Alice. She waits for me, giggling when I sweep her right off her feet. My fingers sink into her soft skin, and it feels so damn right when she kisses me. Soft lips. Even softer curves. Smiling even as she kisses me. I'm blown away by this woman. Alice is perfect, like a missing puzzle piece finally connected to my life. I'm overwhelmed by my feelings for her. The air feels erotic when I place her in our bed to make love to her for the first time. Well. My first time with her. After Alice is spread on bedsheets, I climb into the bed, kiss her breast, and kiss her sensitive neck. She is moaning, saying my name, and running her fingers through my inky dark hair. I slide into her, groaning when I'm inside. There are moans, and everything is magic, and then— And then I wake up. In an instant, everything is gone: the triplets, Lily, my house, and my pregnant wife. Everything has been ripped away from me, and as I stare at my ceiling, I feel... Empty. After finding love so true that you're brought to your knees, I'm not sure there is anything worse than losing it. Breathing gets harder. It feels like a hundred knives have been shoved into my chest. Tears spring to life in the corner of my eyes. "What the fuck was that dream, and why do I wish it was real?"
Chapter 3 Chapter 3
Nathan I'm standing in the parking lot after hockey practice. This is my first cigarette of the day, and I can't even enjoy it. Not after she told me to quit. Alice Grey. Suddenly, I remember her voice saying, "You have a big heart, Nathan. You may look intimidating, but your gentle heart is part of why I love you so much." My chest constricts when those words sink into my head, and the image of her older self smiling at me hits my brain. She was beautiful as my wife. Mousy, brown hair dangling down the sides of her round cheeks. Glossy lips caught in the most captivating smile I've ever seen. Suddenly, I'm not even interested in other women anymore. That version of Alice that I saw in my dream has ruined me. She was the most stunning woman I've ever seen: Large breasts, glowing cheeks, and kind eyes. She was also carrying my child! I sigh and massage my eyelids, yet no matter what, I can't get Alice out of my head. Damn it all! How will I ever be able to forget how that other Alice looked at me? Those eyes were so affectionate and filled with love. No one has ever looked at me like that! Not even my own dad or even a friend. Fuck, my heart hurts. I was married to Alice—we were about to have our fifth daughter, and I... I didn't hate it, okay? That dream felt so real, and I was happy! But that dream will never become a reality. How would I even begin to turn things around? Alice Grey hates me, and I doubt we have anything in common. We probably couldn't even hold a conversation without it getting weird! Then again... Should I try talking to her? I doubt Alice would be comfortable if her past bully approached her. I've been so mean to her in the past. Alice Grey comes from a happy family with plenty of siblings. She is kind and always smiling and trying her hardest. Growing up, I was so jealous of this sweet little girl that I bullied her. Of course, it doesn't excuse what I did, but Alice's parents loved her achievements and drove her to school every morning. I envied that because the only thing my dad ever did was beat me up. My mother died giving birth; my dad has always taken that out on me. He is a miserable old man, and it wasn't until I finally hit puberty that I could defend myself. Now I'm too big to be beaten by him, but I'm still not exactly the friendliest guy myself. Sighing, I throw my cigarette on the ground and stomp out the flame without even smoking it. I should quit this addiction. "Hey, is that Nathan?""It is!""Should we talk to him?""I don't know... He looks angry.""That dude always looks angry, but if you don't approach him now, you might never get the same chance again. I thought you liked him? Go and ask him out!" I ignore the girls looking like they might want to approach me. Some people fear me, but there are also a lot of them who are intrigued. Being a tall athlete makes girls ask me out to the left and right. And if you don't think height matters, then think again. Women thirst after guys who are above six feet tall. I walk up the stairs and enter the building. I'm hungry and head down to the dining halls. I buy a large amount of food, and then I freeze in my tracks once I catch Alice Grey sitting alone by a window. Hm. It would be stupid to head over there. I already harassed Alice yesterday, and I bet that dream meant nothing. It was just a foolish one-time thing. Yet I can't fucking help myself. I take my tray and head over to her table. Her chin lifts, and I inwardly wince when I catch the fear in her dark brown eyes. So different from the affection in my dream. It kind of hurts realizing she is afraid of me. It feels like a thousand knives are sticking into my chest. Yet, because I'm an idiot, I croak out a word. "Hey." Real smooth. Alice shifts in her seat, and my heart falters. She seems uncomfortable, and she probably wonders what the hell I'm doing sitting with her. The truth? I've gone entirely mad. A dream drove me here. I probably need to be admitted to a psych ward and have my head evaluated. I look at Alice again, and she breathes a, "Hi..." Shock seeps through me from that simple word. I stare at her. She isn't quite meeting my eyes, but her speaking is a start. I hope? It's not like I need her to say many things to figure out we got zero chemistry. Because there isn't any spark at all, there simply can't be! The only reason I'm sweating in my seat and that my heart is racing is because of that stupid, weird dream that I had—nothing else. We are too different. In my mother's diary, she wrote that people's hands are a good hint of whether or not you're their soulmate. They should fit like puzzle pieces. But my hands are large and calloused, and Alice's hands are tiny. We aren't compatible at all. "No offense, but..." Alice licks her lips, and finally, she meets my eyes. Hers are puffy as if she spent the night crying. "Why are you sitting with me?""Uh...""Uh?" Alice mimics me. I smile in amusement. "Umm..." I'm unsure what to say. Alice glares at me with her slightly swollen eyelids, and I don't know why I find that cute. Does she think she looks intimidating or something? "I'm waiting..." Alice impatiently taps her pink nails against the table. "Right," I try not to keep smiling like a fool. "I'm here because..." Alice blinks at me when I trail off, and I grimace. What do I tell her? I had a dream—you were the mother of my children, and therefore, you should forget everything I've ever done to you—fuck, that sounds crazy! This is crazy! What the hell am I doing? "Because what?" Alice snaps, shocking us both. She looks freaked out after raising her voice, and I get the feeling that's because she fears me. Jesus Christ, I have messed up this girl, haven't I? I gulp down an ounce of guilt and try to smile. "I'm just... Do you still draw and shit?" I want to facepalm myself after speaking. Am I stupid? I can't believe this shit! I've gone my entire life thinking I'm smart, but I'm actually retarded! I have zero game—I realize that—even Alice realizes that, or else she wouldn't be squinting at me! "I still draw and shit," Alice says, looking me up and down with burning eyes. Her entire demeanor screams hatred. I must have hit a nerve asking her about her hobby. "Are you asking because you're planning on taking my drawings and making fun of me again? Maybe you would want to call me Picasso again?" I blink. "No, that's not—""How did I for one second think you've changed?! You're probably here to disrespect me and get back to bullying me again!" Would she let me speak? "No, Alice. I'm not here to—""Let me make it easy for you!" Alice rustles in her bag. It's on the chair beside her, and I notice her hands are shaking. "Since I don't want you to beat me up or anything, I will just hand the drawings to you!" Beat her up? I would never do that! "Hey, now, I've never gotten physical with you—""Oh, yeah, but you might go down that route!" Alice snaps again and slides a sketchbook across the table. It stops right under my nose while Alice stands up. "Look, I'm not sure what you want, Nathan, but please, just leave me alone, okay?""You want me to leave you alone?" A girl has never said that to me before. "Yes?" Alice gives me a pained expression. "You scare me, Nathan. And that shouldn't come as news to you. I'm sure you realize why I don't trust you and why I'm asking you to stay away from me." Shit. So she really does fear me... What do I say in a situation like this? Since my brain isn't working, I continue to stare at her. It makes Alice laugh, but the sound is miserable. Her expression is torn, and I watch her hang her backpack on her back before giving me a shaky smile. "Look, you made my middle school years into a living hell. And then I spent half of my high school years fearing you, so please, Nathan, just let me be alone in college. I'm begging you.""Begging me?""Yes, I'm begging you to leave me the fuck alone because guess what, Nathan? I hate you. I hate you more than anyone else." With those words, Alice hurries away from me, and I'm left sitting there alone, feeling like the biggest scumbag on earth. I always liked that I'm tall, and my intimidating physique works well on the ice when I play hockey. But right now, I wish I looked a tad bit more friendly. I know I'm an asshole, but maybe if I weren't a fucking giant, Alice wouldn't fear me. Fuck. How do I make her like me? Is that even possible? No, wait. What am I thinking? It shouldn't matter what Alice thinks. This is just proof that my dream won't come true. Even if I wish it would...
Chapter 4 Chapter 4
Alice It's after school, and I have realized that I need to try my hardest to make some friends. I even have the perfect plan. Our hockey team, The Fighting Devils, has a fan club that has been leaving notes all around campus. They are searching for new members, and even though I know nothing about this violent sport, I think this could be my chance. Many girls are in the fan club, and I will join them. Brilliant plan, right? If only I weren't so nervous... I suck in a deep breath to calm myself. It's cold inside the ice hockey arena, and the sounds of guys grunting and hitting the puck fill my ears. People sit on the bleachers, watching the practice as if put under a spell, and my eyes land on Winnie. A smile spread over my lips. Winnie is the girl whose number was left on the fliers. She is the chairman of the fan club and is supposedly friendly. We texted earlier, and she told me to come and meet her here. "Got to make it over there, I guess," I mumble as I pave my way past people and someone looking like a coach. I'm kind of nervous and suddenly hear giggles. I lift my eyes to scan the area, wondering if it's me the girls are laughing at. On the top of the bleachers sits two women. I've never spoken to them, but I know who they are—Isabella and Danielle, known best for being cleat chasers. And also rumored to be bitches. I swallow thickly and keep walking. Soon, Winnie spots me and gets this excited look on her face. "You must be Alice!" Winnie beams at me and taps the place next to her with her mitten. "Come and sit with me! Are you cold?" I'm blushing. I've never had a friend, and Winnie's already friendly demeanor is new to me. "Hello there," I say and sit down. Winnie is taller than me. A freckled, pretty blonde with rosy cheeks. "You're Winnie, right?""Yup, yup!" She looks pretty excited. "And you're the fan club's new member—welcome onboard!" My cheeks burn brighter. "Thank you..." Winnie, who doesn't seem to have a problem talking to people, grins mischievously at me. "So, Alice, what do you know about hockey? Are you a big fan?""I can't say that I am..." I grimace, hoping she doesn't think I'm stupid for wanting to join the hockey fan club. "I'm just trying to make friends? Is that a stupid reason to join?""Not at all!" Winnie's dimples show. "Many of our members just join to be part of a community. Making friends on campus can be hard. I know of others who joined the fan club to make friends, but two girls are into the sport. The rest kind of only observes the actual games." That eases up some of my worries, and I smile. "Cool." Winnie smiles, then points to the field to make conversation. "The good hockey players don't stick around for too long. NHL pick them like berries, and... If I were to make a guess, I would say either Andrew or Nathan won't finish the entire college season." Nathan? I blink when a guy is tackled into the plexiglass. The one who delivered the tackle is none other than Nathan. I glance behind me when I hear Isabella and Danielle giggling. I'm unsure why I'm bothered, but I kind of am. "They got their eyes on Nathan," Winnie whispers to me. "On Andrew too, actually... Once those guys make it into the NHL, anyone dating them will be set for life. I suspect that's their goal." I arch an eyebrow. "Those girls are only out after the money?""Terrible, right?" Winnie shrugs. "Most girls in the fan club are the same way, honestly.""You're not?" I tease. "No!" Winnie smiles at me, a bit guiltily. "Like, it would for sure be nice, but I'm just the chairman because I've always been around hockey," she nods forward at two similar-looking players. "Jake and Mark, those two loons over there, are brothers. I'm their beloved childhood friend. That's why I watch these games.""Oh..." I smile. "Yeah," Winnie studies me with curious eyes. "You went to the same high school as Andrew and Nathan, right?" I resist the urge to grimace. "I sure did." And it wasn't pleasant. Honestly, this isn't a subject I would like to turn into a long conversation. Andrew might not have bullied me like Nathan, but both of them are friends and probably dislike me. Or, I don't know. Nathan confuses me. I'm still unsure why he approached me yesterday, but I've been on my guard since then. "Were they nice to you?" Winnie asks. I lift my head to answer, but a shadow has fallen over us. We are sitting at the bottom of the bleachers, and Andrew is standing against the plexiglass, breathless and sweaty. Hockey players look even more intimidating when they are wearing ice skates. So freaking tall. "Hello, Winnie," Andrew beams at her before focusing his eyes on mine. His widen a little. "Oh, are you thinking about joining the fan club, Alice? I had no idea you liked ice hockey!" I'm unused to Andrew not calling me Picasso. It's a nice change, yet I still don't trust him. "I'm just trying to make friends," I shrug, a bit wary if he will keep being friendly or not. "Winnie seems cool.""She is, she is..." Andrew grins at me. "But I'm the best person to ask if you want to know more about the sport. We could exchange phone numbers, and I could—""Enough!" Winnie growls at him and places her hand on my shoulder as if to show I'm under her wing. "Alice is a freshman under my care, and I won't let you date and dump her—she won't be one of your victims!""Victims?!""Yes, Andrew! You change women faster than underwear!""What? How dare you!" Andrew falls into an argument with Winnie, but I have tapped out of their conversation. My eyes are on Nathan. Standing behind Andrew, his ice-blue eyes meet mine before he silently follows the other man through the door. For some stupid reason, my heart races inside my chest. Because of fear? Probably. Nathan picks up a bag from the floor, and I watch him glug water while looking sweaty and tired. The movement of his Adam's apple got me captivated. My eyes rake him up and down. He is bigger than the other guys, but that only adds to why I find him so damn scary. "So, Alice..." Andrew plops down beside me, grinning. The movement is so sudden that I momentarily freeze into my place. He smiles at that and probably translates it to me being nervous. "Are you seeing anyone?" Winnie is growling on the other side of him. "Andrew, she isn't interested in seeing you. Alice is smarter than that!""Shut up, Winnie!" Andrew barks, then return to me, smiling again. He is handsome with dark hair and even darker eyes. A real ladies' man, but I'm not interested in players. "So, would you mind answering my question? I'm curious over here, Alice." I lift an eyebrow at him. "Are you messing with me? Last time I met you, you were calling me Picasso and laughing at my expense," I smile sweetly at him, amused that he is baffled. The only guy who makes me nervous is Nathan—I can handle Andrew. "So, are you asking me out simply to laugh at me if I say yes?" Andrew finds his footing again, grinning now. "Oh wow, there is some spice to you!" His eyes are interested now. "And no, I'm asking you out because you're hot." His compliment takes me aback. I've never had a guy call me hot before. Never. I'm new when it comes to the dating and flirting front. I have never gone out on a date in my entire life. Never kissed anyone or had sex. And now, I've been called hot. My cheeks burn, and I stare at Andrew. I'm unsure what to say, but luckily I'm saved by Winnie. "Like I said, Andrew," Winnie begins. "Alice is smarter than you, and she would never fall for your flirting techniques. And they suck, by the way. How many girls have you called an angel this week?" Andrew turns away from me. "What is your problem with me? Why are you being such a cockblocker, Winnie?!" I giggle at their exchange and notice Nathan is silently watching me. He is leaning against the plexiglass, and once he gets caught red-handed for staring, his lips move into a sheepish smile. My eyes narrow, and Nathan seems to swallow down a laugh before looking away from me. Bizarre. I wish I could regard him as creepy, but Nathan is stupidly attractive. "Oh, and Alice?" I look up at Winnie. I'm beginning to realize that this girl is always smiling and beaming without a care in the world. "Yeah?" I ask. "I like you, so..." she wriggles her eyebrows at me. "As a result, you're invited to the frat party this weekend. Fan club members can skip the line, and I will escort you myself.""Oh, that sounds fun," I'm beaming back, already excited. "I've never been to a party before...""It will be a lot of fun," Andrew grins and shoves his shoulder into Nathan's larger frame. "Too bad you said you're too busy this weekend." I steal a glance at Nathan. It doesn't go unnoticed. I find out his attention has been on me the entire time, and a mischievous smile spreads over his lips before he turns to Andrew. "Actually, I think my schedule is open again," Nathan nonchalantly shrugs, speaking calmly. "I will join the party. I live in the same building anyway." My eyes narrow and my irritation ticks against my jaw. Why do I get the feeling Nathan only said that because I said I would be coming? What is his deal? Is he going to the party to torment me or something? I continue to glare at his face until his gaze lands back on me. Immediately, an innocent smile spread over his lips, and my body quivers in response. Fire races along my chest, and my heart is warning me that it's about to jump ship and run away. I don't like this guy. Not one bit. It angers me that he always looks so goddamn close to laughing at me. Do I look funny to him?! "I'm starving," Andrew interrupts. "Winnie, you want to head to McDonald's to grab a burger?""Sure," Winnie shoots me a glance. "Do you want to come with us, Alice? Have you eaten?""No, I haven't eaten anything yet," I miraculously manage to peel my eyes away from Nathan's face. "But I have somewhere I need to be. So maybe next time?" Winnie shrugs but keeps her smile. "Suit yourself."
Chapter 5 Chapter 5
Alice I'm hurrying to the parking lot in the dark. Despite being old enough to do whatever I want, I value my relationship with my parents. Therefore, I plan on continuing to come home in time for mom's home-cooked dinners. My mom works as a chef. She owns a restaurant with my dad, and regardless of what anyone may think, we only speak English in our family. I hate when people expect me to understand Chinese, and my mother cooks Italian meals. She is excellent in the kitchen, which is probably why my four sisters never skip meals. We are all very respectful of our parents. I hurry my steps, only to glance to the right when I hear footsteps approaching. Nathan is walking beside me, and with his freakishly long legs, it doesn't take long for him to catch up. My skin crawls, and my heart leaps into my throat. I fear Nathan, but I'm too irritated to let it show. "Are you stalking me now?" I snap at him. Nathan pauses briefly, and I do the same. We stand facing each other like two alley cats about to rumble. I can't read Nathan's expression. His hands are shoved into his pockets, and he is wearing a large backpack that seems to weigh more than me. Eventually, Nathan speaks. "I'm not stalking you," he nods ahead, and I follow his gaze. Down the road stands his shiny pickup truck. "My car is parked right there.""Oh..." I blush, feeling silly that I thought he was stalking me. It's kind of an embarrassing thing to assume. Nathan looks like he is about to say something but falls silent when a group of guys comes tumbling up the walkway. They are loud and walking as if they have been drinking. One of the guys kicks an empty aluminum bottle across the gravel. It scrambles and tumbles into some bushes. Something resembling fear grips hold of my throat, and my pulse thumps against my neck. I don't like to meet groups of men in the dark when I'm alone, even if they are teenagers. It makes me step closer to Nathan without thinking twice about my actions. I realize what I'm doing when my back brushes against the front of his jacket. Nathan hangs his head, peering down at me from his towering height with something resembling an amused smile. There is understanding in his eyes, yet he doesn't say anything. He calmly stands in place as the loud guys walk past us. I'm ashamed to admit it, but it seems I unconsciously trust him to some degree. Which makes zero sense—he bullied me for years! "Are you okay?" I pout up at him, angry that he seems entertained. "I'm fine.""Okay," Nathan keeps the smile. "Glad I could be of assistance.""Assistance?" He breathes a laugh. "Come on, we both know I saved the situation here. I'm the hero of the day." I will be damned, but I actually snort. "By doing what exactly? Menacingly standing there?" He shrugs. "Maybe... Not to brag or anything, but there aren't many people who would be willing to pick a fight with me.""No, you're probably the one picking the fights." He laughs. "What am I in your eyes? A delinquent?" I pause. "Aren't you?""What do you think?" I study his eyes. They are usually colder than snow but look less predatory today. Huh. I wonder what changed? Perhaps it's the lighting underneath the streetlight. "I don't know," I answer earnestly, raising my eyebrows. "In my eyes, you've always been seen as a living nightmare." He winces. "Ouch." I don't feel bad for him, not even a little bit. Remembering Nathan taking my stuff without permission is all I need in order to recall the hurt and pain he caused me. So many tears have been shed because of him... My mood turns sour. "Just speaking the truth." To my surprise, Nathan doesn't seem to take offense. "I probably deserved that.""You did." I walk forward and realize Nathan is putting effort into walking at the same pace as me. His car isn't even parked by mine, and I grow suspicious. Is he making sure I make it to my car safely? Since when is Nathan a gentleman? My stomach churns unease, yet I say nothing and let Nathan walk me to my car. When I open the door to throw in my backpack, Nathan clears his throat behind me. I turn around and give him a questioning look. "Yes?" Nathan seems to hesitate. His lips open before closing again. I'm caught staring at his stubble and then at his full lips. He is irritatingly attractive. The last thing I stop on is his eyes, which I'm sure could bring any woman down to their knees. Those ocean eyes are surrounded by thick, dark lashes. The only thing about him that can be considered girly since the rest of him seems cut from stone. I'm not kidding. Nathan's body is startling. He is tall, but not hot-guy-tall, but more like Bigfoot tall—if Bigfoot were real, Nathan would be his long-lost son. Though, I suppose his face is a bit too beautiful for that. Too beautiful, actually. A little shiver runs over my skin that has nothing to do with the temperature outside. "Do you like Andrew?" It takes me a while to realize Nathan has spoken. I blink repeatedly, and he frowns at me, probably thinking I'm not going to answer. Which should be fine, considering he asked something personal. Yeah, now that I think about it, why should I give him an honest answer to that question? I sneer at him. "What is it to you?" The sassy tone of my voice surprises him. I can see his eyes widen before he finds words. "He will ask you repeatedly until he gets what he wants. If you aren't interested, you will have to tell him straight-up unless you want him to keep bothering you." I laugh because this is crazy. Nathan is being so damn weird. "Why do you even care?" His face darkens when I laugh at him, and the gentleness disappears. He is suddenly back to looking moody. "I don't know...""You know, if I didn't know better, I would say you're acting like you're jealous. Which makes no sense." To my surprise, Nathan simply glares at me. I'm not scared, though. I'm close to laughing out loud because I don't know what is happening. Is he messing with me right now? "What?" I challenge, surprised by my own courage. I'm feeling stupidly so brave that I add more fuel to the flame by joking around. "Is the big bad Nathan Douglas interested in me?" He couldn't be. There is no way. Guys like Nathan Douglas never take an interest in girls like me. I wouldn't want it either. Nathan frightens me, but he is acting so odd that I can't help myself from talking. It must be the cause of my bottled-up frustrations. For years I've been dreaming about standing up to this guy, and now, it seems I've thrown caution to the wind—I've gone mad. I can't believe I just teased him and asked if he was interested in me—I'm high on adrenaline right now! "Would that be so bad?" Wait. What? My jaw slacks to the ground, and I lift my gaze to stare at Nathan's face. He looks utterly pissed off. Those ice-blue are scorching hot, and I take a step back, once again reminded of his size. Nathan looks like an archangel ready to punish those he deems to be his enemies. Scary. My tongue darts out to wet my parched lips. "You can't seriously be interested in me..." Nathan lifts his eyebrows at that. "Why?" He looks me up and down and laughs, but the sound is dark. "Look, I don't know you that well, and it's not like I want to be interested in you, but there is no point in hiding it. You intrigue me, and I loathe myself for it.""You loathe yourself for being interested in me?""Yes!" What is this guy's fucking problem? Nathan must be the only guy who can make his love confession sound like an insult! "Okay, listen," I cross my arms over my chest and feel my blood rushing into my head. This guy is so fucking weird. "If you're interested in me and loathing yourself for it, it doesn't exactly make me want to give you a chance to date me.""Please," Nathan snorts. "You wouldn't give me a chance either way because you're afraid of me," I wince because he is right, and he smirks at that, but it looks pained. "And that, right there, is why I loathe myself for being interested in you. We have too much baggage." My frustration builds in my chest. I can't reel it in, not this time, and before I know it, I'm snapping up at Nathan. "And whose fault is that huh?! You haven't exactly been nice to me, you fucking idiot!" His eyes narrow. "I realize that...""Yeah, so don't guilt-trip me for being suspicious and afraid of you! I'm still half-convinced that you're playing games with me right now. You're probably trying to see if you can get me to date you, only to humiliate me later!" Nathan freezes. His eyes turn calculating, and then his lips become a thin stretch on his face. "That dream can't have been a vision of the future... You and I couldn't possibly forget the past... We are like snow and salt... Fire and ice...""Huh?!" I stare up at him in disbelief. "Did you suddenly turn into a poet? And what dream?!" Instead of responding, Nathan turns around to stride toward his car. I growl and glare after his back. "So, you're just going to leave without explaining yourself?!" Nathan stops by his door and snorts. "You're not worth the trouble, princess. Speaking to you is giving me a headache." For some odd reason, it hurts hearing him say that. It's stupid. We have always been enemies, yet tears prickle behind my eyelids. "Well, fuck you too!" I shout. Nathan doesn't respond. He slams the door and revs up the engine while I kick up gravel. Stupid Nathan. Why am I so bothered by him saying talking to me gives him a headache? I shouldn't care about him! "Gah!" I shout and storm toward my car. "Men say women are hard to understand, but it's actually men who are impossible!" I turn on my car and take a deep breath. Hot tears are rolling down my cheek, but everything will be okay. I have Winnie, my family and maybe I will go with Andrew. The future looks bright.
