Chapter 1 Alora

You know those stories about unwanted rejects, whose loved ones either died or all abandoned them to drift aimlessly through the world? A worthless no one, almost invisible to other people. Nothing spectacular about them, no grand rise from nothing to something as they dawn into adulthood. Yeah well, that’s kind of my story. My name is Alora Dennison and I am literally hours away from my Awakening Ceremony at the ripe old age of 18 years old, with absolutely no one who gives a crap about me to be there, no support, no family, and definitely no friends. I'm a late bloomer, I guess. Not that it’s unusual in my bloodline, as almost every female in my family didn't 'come out' until they hit their late teens from what I can remember. Much like the others in the orphanage, stuck here with me. Another reason we are snubbed and left to our own devices in this hell hole they call a home. My ceremony has me all churned up inside and restlessly pacing the room I share with Vanka. She's like me, although in all the years we’ve bunked together I can't say we have ever become friends of any kind. She makes it clear she doesn't like me and much like everyone around me, they all keep their distance. We tolerate one another, but none of us have ever bonded. I'm an orphaned no-one whose parents died in the war of ten years ago against the vampires. So is she, but it didn't warm her to me in anyway. I guess because she’s from a leg of the Santo pack and they have hated the Whyte pack since long before the war. We were feuding before the vampires united every one of us and old scars and grudges are not something that wolves let go easily. We were just two small girls left with no immediate blood link guardians, put in this place for unwanted cubs, to live out our days in unexceptional ways. It would have been kinder to end our misery back then, than leave us to live as outcasts among our own people, our own kind. Shunned because we are the shameful proof that their own packs failed them. I don't think they knew what else to do with us. So many young with no one left to care for them and raise them in our ways and seen as cursed. They were ashamed of the failings of our families and we are the ones to carry that burden like an eternal black mark painted on our faces. I’m amazed that kids like us even get to go through with the ceremony, I mean it's kind of a big deal and we are kind of not. We’re a bit like the lost boys in Neverland, except.... none of us want to stay here and growing up is the only way out. Your Awakening is a bit like graduation in a sense. A passing from child to adult and normally where you would find your place, your rank, in the pack, and get a mate. I have no delusions that it means anything of the sort for any of us turning tonight. Of which there are four from the home of unwanteds, and I hear maybe three from the packs around. Just a handful of kids trying to break free, find their path, and all in the great presence of the entire 'Packdom'. The Packdom being the dozen or so wolf tribes from the state. They all have to convene on the shadow rock to watch you transform fully for the first time, under the first full moon of your birth month. It's not hard to figure out when you’re ready. The weeks running up to your birthday, you start to change in small ways and, god damn, it hurts. Like having your insides snapped and stretched in fits of severe twisting pain and zero control over it happening. The signs are pretty evident to all. Kind of like puberty for werewolves, I guess. Maturing, physical improvements and a massive rise in appetite and aggression. Little moments where you start to transform painfully and then it dissipates just as quickly so you never really reach a first transition, but it’s reported, and no one can hide it. That pain, that you know will come with the first time, it’s saved for the full moon after your birthday. Some don't go through it until later in life, and some earlier. Usually, when you turn, is a sign of where you stand in the hierarchy. The longer it takes, the weaker your DNA, according to the Santo elders anyway but my parents never mentioned any of this when I was young. So, being eighteen, puts me way down on the pecking order and just confirms my bloodline were not that of warriors or strong enough to be anything of importance. Vanka is sixteen and she too is turning tonight, but with Santo blood somewhere in her veins, she should have turned far earlier. I guess whatever mix is in her is the reason they reject her as one of their own. I mean look at the Santo's, they are the reigning pack in the state and everyone in their bloodline turned before the age of ten. Colton, the next heir as Alpha, is nineteen years old, lords over all in our kingdom and he has been running with the pack since he was a mere eight years old. Every single one of his family returned from the wars, which speaks volumes to the purity of their genes, their strength, and their abilities in battle. He's destined to take over from his father as Alpha one day and the way things are heading, he won't just be Alpha of the Santo pack, but all of us. Something that has never happened in our lifetime but will begin a new dawn in how the packs live. Santo is not a nice guy, none of them are. He walks around surrounded by his sub pack, looks down at the likes of us and never makes eye contact or responds to anyone below his station. That’s how it works here, dominance and strength is everything to wolves. He has his father’s arrogance and he knows every female hitting puberty is craving to become his mate. He hasn’t officially paired or marked yet and despite having the same girl always by his side, he’s fair game until he does. Faultlessly good looking in that Latino, pretty boy kind of way with far too handsome a face. He’s over six feet of muscle and radiates aggression without trying and is a rare black furred wolf on turning, one of the largest among us. I think the one time he actually acknowledged my existence was the day he pushed me out of his way in passing. I tripped in front of him in the corridor to the great hall, and he didn't bat an eye or miss a step in shoving me back aggressively, like I was a lightweight piece of trash. All the girls laughed at me when I landed on my ass and skidded back into the trashcan and I’ve made sure to never get in his way again. Not that we have much time in the same place. I live in the orphanage and go to the school nearby that was built purely for our kind, away from ‘normal’ people. He was ahead of me by one year, so we didn't really cross paths in all that time, and since he lives with his pack on the south side of the mountain, only coming to the shadowy north when required, I never see him or any of his subordinates. Like all the rest of the people who avoid the ‘Rejects’. Our people all moved and convened nearer the mountain from all surrounding areas after the great war. Keeping close to stay protected and no one ever left again. His father is the unofficial Dominant Alpha and likes to check in with all on the mountain when he sees fit. Since Colton graduated school, we only see him when by his father’s side for official visits. Lording over their newfound kingdom of obedient and submissive packs, keeping law and order. Rumor has it the vampires have been brewing and gathering for several months, maybe even years, to regain numbers and launch a new war on our kind. We always knew they would. I mean we won the war, but we didn't defeat them in the way we wanted. Many survived and fled and have been out there for almost ten years, recovering from it and licking their wounds. It's been quiet for so long, eerily so, but there is so much unease and unrest in the air that the packs called together a meeting a month back to decide the fate of our future. Trouble stirring and we could all feel it, our senses on high alert and that vibe that something huge is coming. They think a coming together to create one pack and one unity is the answer to a brewing war. Not that it changes much, as we have been living almost that way for a decade. We were never united before under just one Alpha though. We fought as separate packs and it almost wiped us out. There was no leadership as a whole and it meant packs like mine, known for peaceful living and farming, were almost annihilated. Many of our kin never returned and those who did, were forever changed. Those like me who lost everyone; my parents, grandparents, uncles, and my brother... we are shunned by people who like to pretend it never happened. My family were lost, none of them came back and therefore in the eyes of the pack hierarchy ... my bloodline is weak. They don't want to claim us as their kind anymore and they sure as hell don’t want us procreating and spreading our genes to future wolves. Warriors came home. The weak did not. We were never ready for it.

Chapter 2 Alora Prt 2

They were farmers, they were peaceful, and had never had to fight in their lives. Not all wolves are savage killing machines, or feral beasts, like human legends and stories dictate. Some are quiet, land loving people, who never want to experience the thrill of a hunt or the warm blood of another being in raw savagery. In a whirlwind of months, we were dragged into a battle to the death and children were left in the care of the old and frail, or the pregnant. We waited endlessly to find out who of our loved ones would come home to us. Until one lone night, the people who cared for me in their absence, the last of the Whyte’s who were too vulnerable to follow them, were slaughtered by invading vampires in our own homes on the far edge of the farmlands, and I was a lone survivor who was then shunted to the orphanage. The events of that night are so foggy and hazy, I don’t really remember it at all, or why I was even spared. I was just a child. I still remember the agony of the day I watched others return in masse, the battle truly over with the vampires in retreat, and no one, not a single person from my bloodline came home. An entire pack, of more than forty people I called my own, they were all gone, everything I knew…. Every single last one of them. I was all alone. There is no pain compared to that of an eight-year-old child learning everyone she ever loved and was protected by, were never coming home for her. My security was shattered and my future dead and all I have known since was the isolation and solitude of being one of the many who were thrown here to rot. So now here we are, a house full of teens who bear the only living connection to our past loved ones. A mixed bunch of leftovers, but no one in the packs will bond to us for fear of producing weaker offspring. It's all about dominance in our world and power, standing, and ability. DNA is everything. They call us the Reject Pack which sums up exactly why we are overlooked. We don't belong to anyone anymore, even though by rights we should be part of the united wolf community, this new singular pack, we are bonded by location after all. We’re not though, they see us as cursed children and deny our mere existence, throwing us to the dark shaded side of the mountain so they don’t have to see us. This house is the only home we know now and the people who care for us do so in duty, but not love. They’re afraid we curse them by proximity. It's forbidden to abandon a pack child, even if they come from a shamed bloodline. The fates and traditions have laws and rules from old that we have to abide by and abandoning the vulnerable is abhorrent. So, we are given a home, shelter, food, and education. Basic care in the understanding that upon our Awakening, we get to leave. Severed like a rotting limb. We can go out, find our own path, and fend for ourselves. Turning gives us gifts and ability to go it alone. Find a pack who want us if that is even possible. Solves their problem and shirks off any responsibility they have for us. Which sucks if you happen to turn at a young age while caught here with us. So, that's where I am now. Just a mere four hours before we have to climb to shadow rock for the full moon and I’ll transform for the first time of my life. Changing from child to woman and my gifts will manifest along with my first emerging of my full wolf self and whatever that will look like. Not that I have any clue what those will be, if any at all. Not all of us have a special gift and it's unlikely I will. My parents never talked of theirs. I’ve watched this ceremony once a month for many years and it still terrifies me to know I will be one of them. Finally stood in the center, terrified of what the new light brings. It’s a blood moon tonight, meant to be symbolic or biblical or some nonsense. Signaling the end of times. Not that I paid attention to our Lunar studies as they held little importance to me. With a first transform comes pain, and a lot of it. You hear the cracking of bones, the tearing of flesh and the howling of those going through it and it haunts you for eternity. It's inevitable. It's awful to see, traumatized me the first time as I was still so young, but they tell us it only hurts that way the first time. After, we’ll be different, and the pain will be far less clawing, because we can heal and withstand it so much more as a stronger breed. I’ve seen it. Physical improvement they call it. It's the leaving of childlike features behind, firming up, muscling over as though somehow you get an injection of superhuman enhancement. All who have turned become superior in every way, even in terms of attractiveness, which explains why the Lord Colton is considered a god among mere females. His genes are strong. Not that I want to change. I’m already tall, slim, athletic and I wouldn't say I was ugly. I'm on the pretty side of plain, with full lips, mousy brown hair, and abnormally green eyes. I take after my mother, and when I look in the mirror, I’m haunted by her memory in the most bittersweet way. Proud to carry her face with me but broken that it reminds me of what I’ve lost. I guess I am what one would call girl next door, but it's just another flaw in my genetic makeup. The alphas are all handsome or beautiful and physically perfect. You can't deny good genes when it's shown in every single little way. Compared to humans they are like God’s among men. Now all I can do is wait. Shower, dress, brush my hair and pace like a maniac as I watch the clock and count down the minutes to the first moon of my new future. This could be the first step in changing everything. I can leave after tonight; I can walk away from this mountain and the people who treat us like we are nothing. I'll be free to run far away, with no bond to anyone or anything. No one to care if I never return. I just need to get through it first and then it's the start of a whole new existence for me.

Chapter 3 The Awakening Prt 1

My blood is rushing through my head to the point I have a headache, palms sweaty and adrenaline spiking as I follow the path to the top of the cliff on Jell-O legs. Walking in behind the others, like me, who are to go through the ceremony at the highest point of the full moon. I’m breathless, fighting the nausea and internal shaking of fear, body trembling, as I watch where I step, a little too closely, and almost collide with the girl in front of me. Staggering sideways and kicking stones in my path, accidentally, to avoid her. “Watch where you’re going, reject!” The growl of one of our accompanying mentors hits me in the side of the face with an open palm as he leans in close and shoves me back in line, harshly. Hard enough to send me crashing into the rock face, we are brushing up against and I almost hit the ground with the force, coughing out a whimper of pain. I catch myself, right my body quickly, ignoring the burning pain of grazes, and skip two steps to catch up and get back in line while rubbing my bruised arm and shoulder from the collision. Trying not to look his way, knowing if I do, he will probably smack me in the face for showing zero respect to a superior. He’s called Raymond, and he’s around twenty-four. One of the Alpha’s main pack leaders of the subs, one of the Santo’s, and he hates anything to do with us. Another superior wolf from a pure bloodline who sees us as an inconvenience and unworthy to breathe his air. This is the reality of my life and how little value I have in this hierarchy. Reject is the name for all of us, like we don’t have separate identities anymore and I can’t wait to be free of these people and this life. “Halt!” A booming low and gravelly voice ahead of us stops us all in our tracks as we come to the level top of the cliff known as ‘shadow rock’. It’s more of a large plateau than a rock but the sun never seems to lay its light and warmth in this nook of the mountain and yet it gives us a direct and uninterrupted view of the moon every night. It’s been the point of this ceremony for hundreds of years and we’re finally here. I pull myself past the girl in front of me and come to her side to gaze at the familiar scene before us. Stomach churning up with the knowledge it’s happening. The ceremonial set up of flares and burning fires at points near the ledge, are already there and glowing bright, all the way around the curve of this large platform. Creating a red and amber glow that illuminates the space in what will soon be wall to wall darkness of this still night. The center of the clearing marked out with symbols in chalk and a large set of circles surround them, one for each of those who are to awaken. I shudder inside as reality hits home that this is really it and I have nowhere to hide. You can’t outrun it, there’s no way to stop it from happening. “Clothes off here and put these on” scratchy grey blankets are thrust into our arms by a tall muscular Santo, looking down at us with almost black eyes as he snarls his contempt. Probably annoyed that they even allow my kind to go through this like everyone else does. Walking past as he dishes them out and I am aware that many have gathered around the ledges, and above us on the edges of the cliffs above to watch this. All the packs are here already, and right in the middle stands Juan Santo and his immediates. His second in command, his third, and his son, Colton. The ceremonial Shaman in full dress is standing with his staff awaiting the start of his duties. Something he could do with his eyes closed I expect, as he has been here for so many years. I don’t wait to question the order, eyes down, nerves frayed but get to it. I know the drill. I throw it around my shoulders to conceal my body as best I can, the same as the others and we quickly strip down inside our coverings with haste. Discarding our things into neat piles we will return to later. Transforming rips your clothes to shreds, so being naked is the best way to deal with it. Afterwards we’ll be able to get dressed again, but for now, this itchy old blanket is all I have to cover my modesty. Not that anyone cares. Nudity among wolves is common and not something they actually stare at or find abnormal. So many turn at the blink of an eye and come walking back in human form with no covering at all. It’s another sign of weakness to be body shy and hide if you have to come home without your clothes. Obviously, the Alpha types walk around in the nude without any worries, being they are physically perfect. The only time it’s an issue, is if a mate is being ogled by someone who isn’t hers. Males are territorial, jealous, and aggressively unpredictable when mated up so it’s common for regular testosterone fights over looking at each other’s woman. It’s kind of basic and primal and another reason I won’t miss being part of a pack. We’re animals by nature and humans would be disturbed by what is normal among us. I mean aggression, physical hostility and even beating each other is not viewed in quite the same way that humans would between married people. Mates fight, sometimes in wolf form and bites and scratches are usually the best way to work out a dispute. I undress fast and leave my clothes and shoes in a neat pile between my ankles to stand up, pulling my blanket around me snugly to await the next orders and shield myself from the cool air. Visibly shaking with nerves, and I glance around me quickly to see equal fear, pale skin, and solemn faces of the others. I’m not the only one who is terrified. We’ve all seen how bad this gets and before the night is out, will have felt pain incomparable to anything we’ve been through in our lives. “Move!” Raymond shoves the male to my left to make him lead the way, and we dutifully follow. Silently, in a line to the open clearing and head towards the chalk circles awaiting us. I close my eyes for a second and try to swallow the clawing fear spreading through my veins like ice, my throat dry and itchy with the effort. Holding myself together, I quickly move to the first circle I see as the line in front of me dissipates. Hundreds of eyes on us as they watch and wait. Silence eery in the oncoming night and I look up to the sky to find some sort of eternal calm. Soon it will be dark and dotted with twinkling stars but for now, it’s daylight and we have to begin. The moon will be upon us soon enough. After everyone shuffles quickly into place and settles, the hush is broken with the booming voice of the Shaman as he gestures for us all to sit while he raises his staff. I do as I am told, slide down quickly, and sit cross legged within my blanket on the cold hard, gritty ground beneath me. Trying to get enough of the covering underneath me to make it less uncomfortable. I’m aware of the penetrating stares from all around and I try to blot them all out. “Drink” Something hard shunts me in my ribs from behind and I strangle a yelp, sitting upright sharply and spin my head around to see a wooden cup held out to me. Another Santo shoving it into my hand as I unravel it out to take it. “What’s it for?” I ask innocently, always wondering when we watched from a distance and stupidly naïve to think I’ll get sense from one of them. “Drink it and find out” he smirks, walking away with no real answer. I sigh, internally irritated at his attitude, before staring down at the dark amber liquid contained within, it’s heavy scent of herbs and perfumes wafting up into my face. I spot the others drinking it down fast without question and I follow suit.

Chapter 4 The Awakening Prt 2

It tastes like thick gloopy honey, laced with all sorts of chemicals that burn my throat as I take it down and almost choke on its thicker consistency. I gag but manage to claw myself into staying still and swallowing hard with multiple gulps. Closing my eyes as the taste turns bitter, spreading down my throat and into my stomach and immediately warms them both. I can feel it disperse into my veins and limbs, knocking the cold of the rocks away from anywhere my skin touches and almost immediately I start to get a little woozy. The ground around me moving and swaying softly, like the sea coming in on the tide. I shake my head but it’s completely pointless. Hunching forward so I don’t fall over, I now understand why every time I watched this, the newest to awaken would sit the whole ceremony slumped down and immobile until they turned. Seemingly oblivious to all of the ceremony and its stages as light faded to dark. They have drugged us for the pain, and I start to lose track of everything around me as a veil of surreal sweeps up like a warm fluffy warm fog and devours me whole. I don’t know how long we are this way, what’s happening as all I can hear is the chant of the Shaman as he dances around, shaking things, singing, and clapping. Vision blurry and coming in waves, my body heavy yet detached and I no longer feel like I am really here or even conscious. Time passes but I have no clue how fast or slow, and all I know is it gets dark so quickly around me and I can’t seem to stop myself drifting into space or losing track and fading away. Cocooning me into the little bubble of black space around me where the smell of fire and incense makes me giddy and sleepy. It’s peaceful yet somehow, it’s not, and there’s a stirring of awareness and fear almost out of reach. There’s warm hands on me, maybe, but I’m not sure, the sudden breeze although it does nothing to cool my eternal warmth. Lulling into a weird state of semi sleep and can no longer open my eyes or really understand what is going on around me. It’s almost pleasant. Cold liquid and wrinkled hands, as something is smeared across my forehead, making me flinch with a second of reality and I grasp to focus on the dancing form in front of me. Rattling, blowing smoke, chanting a song as it runs down the bridge of my nose and I pull from memory that the new turns are marked with a fresh blood kill in preparation for our own turn. My face will bear the mark of wolf with an animal our Alpha will have slaughtered. The roughness of something pulling across my skin startles me slightly, and then suddenly I’m levitating out flat or floating, or maybe just lying down. No clue anymore. I’m too wasted to have any sort of idea about what my body is doing, and the heavy, loud tones, of the wolf song echoes across the mountain as the packs sing to welcome our moon. I’ve never felt anything close to this, not even being drunk for the first time a few months ago, when we found some booze in the orphanage storage cupboard. Memory of witnessing this many times reminds me that they take them and pull the blankets free for the turning; laying them down to be blessed by the full moon and logically a part of my brain is telling me this is what is happening. It’s almost like I’m no longer attached to my limbs and as a warm sensation trails firmly across my cheek, a raspy voice comes through the fog at me. “It’s going to hurt… I can’t wait to watch it, reject. Or maybe I might take advantage of you like this. Finally get my way.” I barely recognise the voice, but gut instinct tells me it’s Damon, a boy from the Conran pack who tried to kiss me a year ago. He cornered me in the school corridor, pushed me against the wall and tried to force me to kiss him while shoving his hand up my dress. I fought him off, left him with a nice scratch down his smarmy face and he has been gunning for me ever since. Not that I marked him badly, we heal fast, but I obviously left a dent on his pride and his ego. I can’t react and as a hot invasive sensation moves down my shoulder I can only squirm, wanting so badly to get his hands off me. He’s not that dumb though and with all eyes on us, he leaves me alone to my fate as I try to fight to come back to a sense of now. Suddenly afraid that after this is done, he will be the one to tend to me like this. Responsible for ushering me back to my clothes and the concealed shadow of the cliff edge. Who knows what he will do? I don’t recall if the turning takes you out of the drug induced stupor when it’s done, or not. I can’t dwell on it any longer, as soon as I do, a burning light hits me hard over the entire surface of my body, almost like a blow torch was turned on and I spasm instinctively into an arched position on the floor. Every inch of my skin bubbling and blistering to searing levels of torture as though I have been set alight and I strain and claw the ground beneath me, gasping with effort. Breaking nails on rough terrain as I scramble for relief and yet can do nothing but scream. Crying out in pain, writhing in agony, as an intense sensation rips my skin from my bones and engulfs me entirely. My voice deepens, scraping and running hoarse like I’m swallowing splinters and cries become growls, my throat almost bursting into flames with the effort. For a second, it’s like I’m being strangled. I’m under attack, my body is being ravaged, twisted, snapped and slain, but this isn’t another wolf… this is the turning. It’s so much worse than I ever imagined it could be. Cracking, convulsing, and devastating agony, rip through me hellishly. Sending me rolling around in a bid to relive the pain as grime, rocks and dust scrape at my flesh and burn as I graze across them. I whimper and moan, but it alleviates nothing of the torture of my body crunching, shredding, itself apart. I cry out, beg for my mother to save me, wail for the fates to stop this, and claw at the rocks, breaking fingers with the sheer force of my fight and gouging what’s left of my skin on sharp edges underneath me. No one could prepare me for what this feels like and I’m being turned inside out while slow roasted over an open bed of hot coals. I can’t breathe, I can’t scream anymore and silently I writhe and jerk and twist and turn as I am consumed by hell. Our noises are drowned out by the stamping, chanting, and clapping of the packs, thundering through the ground and reverberating through my broken, smashed body… giving way to howls as the moon reaches its peak and they encourage us to make the final transition to become like them. Combining to howl, under strict orders that none other are to transform tonight and break the ceremony. Only the new shall change tonight, only our blood will spill as our human form is destroyed to build something better. I want to die. The pain is unbearable, driving me to the brink of insanity and it truly feels like my human self is being tortured to nonexistence. Every bone in my body snaps and reforms as though it’s being done manually, one at a time, my flesh tears free and pulls away from muscle. I’m wet, a hot pouring out as blood drains from the hellish self-inflicted wounds that seem to last forever, covering me in sticky warm heat, smothering me and leaving a vile metallic scent all around. I can’t tell what’s sweat, what is blood, what is maybe other kinds of fluid. Barely holding on, reaching a pinnacle where my mind is on the verge of collapse and the dregs of sanity teeter on a cliff edge. I howl and I strain with all my might, so I extend my face up into the air and gasp with relief as my lungs inhale and I finally take a breath. And then … everything is still. It all just stops. Like having a cold drink poured over scorched sunburn and instant soothing hits hard and intensely as my noise becomes silence, my burns become cool and my breaks become one. I stop fighting my own body. Aware of the immediate cease of all of it and the creepy quiet that surrounds me so suddenly. The unnatural silence. Hazy and blurry as my head spins and I grasp for some sense of real. Catching my breath, gulping in cool air, and calming ambience, as the fog starts to clear, and my vision returns only a little. I try to get up, to right myself, although it feels different and I stumble sideways with a disorientated sense of upright. I’m on my hands and knees, I think, even though I don’t know how I got this way. I can’t stand or push myself up as I would because it all feels strange and I blink and shake my head to clear my eyes enough to see which way up I’m facing. Confused, yet there is a calm taking over me, a sense of serene with heightened senses in every way. I blink, my eyes, watering as finally, dry is restored to moist and I see forms and shapes and shadows which then define to details and more.

Chapter 5 The Awakening Prt 3

I gaze down and I see paws that startle me at first. Gasping at the closeness and realize they are mine, where my hands should be, flat on the ground. Large, clawed but strong paws, larger than I thought they would be. I lift one and shake it, almost as if I need to convince myself that I can use and control this limb, it’s truly connected to my body. My legs are solid, with thick silver-grey fur and all the way up my muscular chest, I have a streak of purest snow white that travels as far as I can see. I stare at it, lean back and pull my chin in tight to follow it until I can’t strain any further to see. I have very little memory of my mother in her true form, but I know this is from her. She was a white and my father a silver yet it’s rare to combine both in such a way. Most wolves are brown or grey … white is a mutation that’s almost unheard of and my mother used to try and hide herself because it brought only stares. I shake my head, the unfamiliar weight of a different form pulling me from side to side, not fully in control of my limbs or movements just yet but aware it’s so much bigger than my human skull. Staggering on strange legs and fall down flat, splaying out and bumping my undercarriage as I collide with stone. Aware suddenly to the scene around me, coming back into focus and realizing we are still being watched. Sobering fast as my new metabolism pushes the last of the drugs out of my system and cleanses my blood. The atmosphere is charged, and I’m surrounded by newly changed wolves of all shades of grey and brown, although I’m the only one with white in my coat. Turning as the Shaman’s chants draw my eyes back to him and trip over my own uncoordinated self as I try to right myself and get up. It’s hard to use my hands as front legs and I instinctively rear backwards too far onto my haunches, losing my balance and reeling forward again to correct it, before tumbling face forward to the ground once more and meeting the dust with a lower jaw clunk. “It gets easier. Try to stay on your feet. All four of them.” The voice above me pulls my head to tilt towards it and I recoil as I realise Colton Santo is standing right by me, watching as I make a spectacle of myself, in falling flat out on new legs. I don’t know if I’m shocked that he spoke to me, or wary that he did. I’ve never trusted anything about him, or any of his motives, and wonder when he got over here, so close. Avoiding looking directly at him, keeping me eyes averted from his and attempt to get to grips with this weird body and focus on learning to use it. All I can do is whimper back, realizing I have no ability to form words this way and go into my own head link instinctively. Wolves in the same pack have a connection mentally, so they can communicate without talking, which admittedly is impossible as a wolf. We don’ have the vocal cords for human talking. It’s also possible when close enough to talk to one not from your own pack. If they are willing to hear you. It feels strange. I attempt to link with him, weirded out by this new, almost natural ability I didn’t have before. Overwhelmed by all of this and not sure if I am still heavily drugged when in this form, or if this surreal new way to experience everything is wolf sense. Things affect us differently as humans, and this disorientation might just be something I have to adjust to. Yeah well, walk it off. Learn fast. He links me back, a husky familiarity to his voice inside my head that does strange things to my stomach. It’s hardly a polite response and the tone tells me he doesn’t really want to have any sort of communication with me, especially not in a head link. I’m not one of his pack and I’m not even on the same level as him. It’s disrespectful to try. As if to further demonstrate the point, he walks off towards his father and I flop down to get to grips with everything that I just got hit with. I’m heavy, not sure how to navigate my dog body when I’ve spent my life walking on two legs. I must weigh four times my usual weight for sure, although the size of my paws, suggest maybe even more. “The turning will not last ... only moments fleeting for your first time. When you come out, you will be awoken, and your path will lead you to your destiny. Pay attention, be alert. You are now on the other side.” The Shaman states it loudly and it echoes around the mountain like a sort of prophetic song. One I have heard so many times but yet this time, it finally means something to me. I get up on unsure legs once more, slowly, like Bambi on new-born limbs and lift my head as I know I’m meant to. In unison with all around me, we stretch our necks out, lift our noses to the heavens and howl at the moon for the first time in our lives, as one united pack. No matter who we are, where we are from, whatever our bloodline or our past. Long, soulful with meaning. A sound that echoes around us, through us and is joined by the hundreds who watch until we fill the night sky with a somber eerily hum that will reverberate around the mountains and put the fear of god into the wildlife. United in one song that finalises our transformation. It feels strange at first, my throat vibrates, it aches and rasps my vocal chords, but as my belly empties, my air departs and the longest yowl comes cascading out of me, until it scratches my throat and makes me breathless, I feel alive. Like I have been holding my breath and waiting for this my whole life. I guess I have. This is what I was born to be and with the awakening, comes freedom. I can leave. I can run. I can live off the land and hunt to survive. I’m no longer bound by the confines of humans in terms of getting by. Wolves can live anywhere as long as they can hunt and although we are pack animals in mentality, I’ve heard stories of isolated wolves doing fine on their own. That is what I have planned, longed, waited for and I know where I’m heading. Can finally realize my dream of leaving all of this behind me and finding my solitary peace somewhere out there. As far away from these mountains and people as I can, and never looking back. As soon as I relax, our call stops and the energy in me fades fast. Overcome with fatigue that makes me slump back down and flake out on my belly, sighing as my body tingles and itches with a thousand little tremors. Glancing down in time to watch as everything changes back faster than I thought it would. Fur that was keeping me warm, on paws instead of hands… it all begins to recede and unlike my transformation to beast, the reversal is not painful at all. It’s fast, almost instant and before I can blink or even get to grips with what is happening, I am nakedly human. Smeared in my own blood and flat out in a huddled heap on the floor which saves me some of my dignity by shielding my body. I scramble to pull my body into a ball, aware I am completely uncovered and exposed to the hundreds of eyes around us. I jump when my blanket is tossed towards me by the nearby Damon, smirking as his eyes devour my nudity and I recoil. Embarrassed, ashamed, at being naked in front of everyone and mad as hell he made sure I would have to cross eight feet to get the blanket. I glare at him, forgetting myself for a moment and then ponder not going to get it and huddling up to cover myself instead. Others were tossed theirs directly and looking around I realise I am the only one who has to go crawling for hers, like an animal. He is trying to humiliate me, and I move fast to catch it. Shocked when the slightest movement sends me shooting towards him at lightning speed and I end up almost at his feet in the blink of an eye. “Wow” I blurt out loud and get laughed at by someone nearby as they realise how naïve I am about the speed and power we all just inherited. Another change in me I have to get used to. I grab the blanket and try and crawl backwards while pulling it over me and fall onto my back as it’s jerked tight and yanked back taut, sending my head crashing on the smooth stone below me and bouncing my skull painfully. Damon sniggers, his foot on the edge of it as he looks down at me with complete disdain. Laughing at how much he is enjoying making a show of me and I have no choice but to try and pull the blanket from him once more. My face reddening with heat, aware of many more muffled sniggers and laughs at my expense and I can’t conceal the shame washing over me. I know others are watching; my senses are hitched up real high and my body goosebumping all over in response. I can feel them on me from all over and I want to sink into the ground and disappear. I yank but the blanket begins to tear from the pressure nearer my end and I have no choice but to stop or be left with a scrap that will cover nothing.

Chapter 6 The Awakening Prt 4

I know others are watching; my senses are hitched up real high and my body goosebumping all over in response. I can feel them on me from all over and I want to sink into the ground and disappear. I yank but the blanket begins to tear from the pressure nearer my end and I have no choice but to stop or be left with a scrap that will cover nothing. “For god’s sake, Damon. This isn’t the time or place. My father is staring at you. Pack it in.” Colton snarls his way, pushes him from behind and comes into view, shoving him off the blanket and swoops down to pick it up with speed. He walks forward in two confident strides and hands it straight to me, bending lightly as he does so to make sure I get it without any more interference. I know he’s only doing it to save face, exert his dominance in front of his father and save Damon from punishment later. Either way I’m for the first time ever, thankful for him and relieved he is an Alpha in the making. I reach out and take it gratefully, quickly pulling it around me and hiding what’s on show, afraid to really look at him, but it’s almost impulsive as his hand, still attached to the corner, briefly touches my shoulder in passing because of how speedy I am. Hot searing flash runs through my body alarmingly, igniting something tingly inside of me that I can’t identify. Like being zapped by a low strength taser and I gasp at the contact, glancing up at him as he attempts to rise to standing, seemingly also recoiling for what was maybe just an electric shock. For one brief millisecond of synchronized surprise, our eyes lock …. It’s all it takes. One second of direct focus, a meeting of eyes I have never dared to look into before and the worst thing in the world happens to me. We connect; visions, images, projections start flowing through my mind at neck breaking speed that fries my brain and I cannot break his gaze or look away. Startled into silence, locked in, and unable to fight what happens. My body rigid and paralyzed, controlled by this higher force as we’re forcefully held, trapped in an intense stare down and his dark, almost black eyes eat into my soul. His memories, my memories, his fears, my fears. They become a jumbling mass of zooming information, flooding, invading my mind, and overtaking me as I’m body slammed with an overwhelming amount of emotions, in literal seconds, that could potentially zap your brain to death. My body, my heart, my soul, all pulled into this flash of breath, which completely spins my world on tilt and changes everything instantaneously. Rooted to the spot, aware only of the darkest chocolate eyes on mine, unable to break frees yet marooned like I suddenly found home and his gaze goes from sworn enemy to lifeline in my darkness. Neither of us can do anything in our paralysed state but let it happen, until the wild ride of transferring all we are, we know, we feel, is done and we are left shellshocked from the fall out. Breathless, reeling from the invasion of his life, his memories, his history, pouring into my shocked memory banks, I finally snap out and fall backwards in a slump. Released from whatever the hell that was and momentarily dazed. Fully incapable of any kind of movement as I lay on the ground, startled into silence and lightheaded from what felt like a physical assault. “Holy shit” Colton’s voice waves my way, sounding equally shocked and as breathless as me, and I strain up to see him, also on the ground. On his knees though, looking like someone just sucker punched him in the stomach, and he falls forward to drop his palms on the ground to hold him steady. Eyes wide, skin pale, unusually for his normal tanned hue. He looks like someone just told him the worst news he ever wanted to hear in his life and he’s reeling in the aftermath. Around us is complete and utter silence, like a pin could drop and be heard right now and I have no idea what to think. “They just imprinted” one solo voice squeaks out, and echoes around us like someone announcing a death sentence. “No, that’s can’t have happened…” another, moments later…. and then another, and another. The voices blending and blurring as my fingers find my skull and I start scrubbing my head to get my brain to start functioning. To figure out what just happened to me. The mutterings of one or two become many, deafening as they all begin to verbalise their questions at what they just saw. Me? I did what?... No. It can’t be. I lay here, dumbfounded, and trying to pull my thoughts together, unsure why I now know how he likes his coffee, or his favourite song, or why I suddenly can’t get the strong scent of him out of my nostrils, or the need to get up and go hug him, out of my brain. The crazy primal urge to get up and go sit on him and do things I never wanted to do before, or even a few seconds ago. It’s like every part of my soul is suddenly attuned to him, even though he’s feet away. I lay back down and try to breathe through the oncoming panic, trying to rationalize what this was as I draw in air with shallow breaths and try and let my body recover from the huge zap he gave me. “Silence!” Juan Santo demands with a venomous tone, echoing around the mountain and like a sudden clap of thunder, his voice halts the rest of the chaotic noise, giving me some relief before my brain explodes. He storms towards us and physically drags his son up by the shoulder from his slumped position. Gripping and hauling him like a madman and angrily turning to face him once on his feet, raw anger erupting all over. “Tell me you didn’t!” He demands at him in a cruel tone, but Colton seems as spangled as me. Knocked sideways and unsure what the hell just happened to us. His normally confident stance is loose, and he seems unsteady on his own legs. “I don’t know what that was… I’ve never …. I don’t know!” His cocky, dominant tone is lacking too, and I can feel his eyes back on me as I struggle to sit up, pulling myself into a sitting ball and finally have the courage to stare at them. As soon as I meet Colton’s eyes again that same jolt hits me in my heart and stomach like a massive thud and I know this isn’t anything else. Heard enough about it to know what it is. Saw it happen to others. The need to go over and wrap myself in his arms, the longing way we stop and gaze at one another as urge blots out sense and beast overtakes human reasoning. He stares at me with the same instinctual longing I find myself throwing his way, the unspoken need to walk towards him and touch each other. We just imprinted and the Fates gave me my mate. Colton Santo is my destined alpha, the wolf that I’m meant to spend eternity with and follow him wherever he goes. Until the end of time. He’s my path set in stone, my lover, my life, the father to my future offspring. And I can’t imagine anything worse.

Chapter 7 The Fallout Prt 1

Everything happens so fast that my heads spins, and I can barely catch my breath. Our imprinting sends the ceremony into quick disperse and I’m dragged away by Santo’s pack and ushered into an awaiting car, my clothes thrown in my face and ordered to go to the pack house and be quiet. Everything is in uproar as though I committed the crime of the century and it rippled through everyone present. Juan exploded magnificently at the possibility that our future Alpha just got betrothed to one of the lowliest of the packs, and I’m not exactly happy about it either. I’ve kept my head down for ten years, stayed out of sight, in the shadows and away from drama the way others like me have not. Became almost invisible and made no real friends, all with my eye on one goal of escaping this place without any noise. Only to be put on show on the most important night of my life, in front of the entire mountain and have everything come crashing down on top of me. This can’t be happening! I can barely breathe as the panic sets in that this is not god damn reversable, and not a small thing that can get brushed aside and me sent on my merry way. Imprinting is for life, there is only one way out, and that’s death! That is NOT an option for me. We can choose to walk away and ignore it, but the bond won’t break and the urge to bind us together will only grow stronger if we fight it. That’s how this works, everyone knows that. If I leave, I’ll crave for him for the rest of my life, until it pushes me to insanity or even death from a broken soul. If I stay, then I’ll never be able to fight the need to be with him and Juan made that excruciatingly clear that it will never happen. Bustled from car to dark alley and only given seconds to pull my clothes on under my blanket before I am forcibly pushed in a side door and almost fall flat on my face into a bright corridor. The men charged with bringing me here are being less than hospitable with their shoving me around and manhandling me cruelly. I feel like I’m covered in bruises and I still have residue blood over my body and face. I ‘ooft’ at the impact of meeting hard floor, body already tired and weak from what I endured tonight. I’m still reeling from the drugs and the first transformation of my life, on edge, hackles rising, and having to deal with this new trauma of semi kidnapping. I feel like I’m trapped in some sort of daymare and just want to wake up before I have an all-out freak out. We are met by a tall familiar attractive blonde in the hall as she stalks towards me and without missing a beat, she slaps me hard across the face and sends my flying off my feet and skidding into the wall. Burning pain engulfing my cheek and eye socket as I groan it out, and spreads across my head and down my neck, rendering me senseless for a second. Slightly dazed with the force of that bitch’s assault as I try to pick myself back up but fail when a foot stomps on my spine to force me back down. “How dare you!! How god damn dare you, you whore! He’s mine… we have dated for two years, and you think you can sweep in and take him!! You are a god damn nothing, and you have no rights to him!” she’s livid. Puce with rage and comes bearing down on me, climbing on top of me while winding her fingers around my throat like a crazed psycho. In my panic I lash back to defend myself, but she’s bigger and stronger and the glow of amber in her eyes tell me she’s on the verge of turning. She’s another of the pack who turned young and has her gifts well under control while I haven’t begin to explore mine yet. “I’ll kill you before I see you take him from me” her grasp tightens and I try to claw at her face, struggling for breath, panicking, momentary blacking out before she is hauled from on top of me by two strong arms and lifted high up into the air. “Enough! She didn’t do this anymore than I did!” Colton’s voice cuts through her hysterical squealing and he drops her on her feet away from me. Standing between her and me as he turns to her and tries to reason and shut her up. His whole body taut and alert, as though he’s ready to take her on, and I’m not sure it won’t go that way. Females when angry tend to turn and attack, even people they love. It’s how disputes are resolved most of the time among wolves. Physical fights are the norm, even between mates. “Go home Carmen, let us deal with this. The elders and the Shaman are coming with my father. Just go and let us figure this out.” He sounds pissed, that deep commanding tone, so like his father’s, only with a boyish edge. “Why can’t they just kill her and be done with it? She’s nothing to the pack” she wails at him, desperately, the noise prickling at my ears so I wince in reaction with an ‘ahhh’ and grasp to cover them, and I wonder if this is a new thing with my senses. Hearing things more painfully. “Are you dense? …. Killing her will kill me. Hurting her, hurts me! Even a slap! We imprinted; we are one. Her soul, my soul… did you never pay attention in class?” He sounds as mad as her now and he throws a look back down at me, cowering on the floor, dazed and in shock, about the turn of events. Not mentally ready for any of this. “Here” he turns, a softness changing his handsome face slightly, making him more appealing, less cold, and he extends a hand to help me up. It’s the first time I ever saw any real humanity in this guy, and it renders me mute as I let him pull me to my feet. That heat and transference of sparks at the slight touch makes me jump, and that familiar urge to need more of him, want his touch, makes me pull my hand away quickly. Internally bristling and inhaling fast to cool the sudden heat that rides up my neck and face. Blushing, I look away to break contact. He frowns at the sensation too and backs off as soon as he lets me go, obviously uneasy at how much chemistry is stirring up from something so simple. It’s not a secret him and Carmen have been a steady thing for a long time, so I guess he feels like this is somehow cheating on her. She watches like a hawk; I can feel her hatred burning through my soul and wishing harm on me. The sting on my face tells me she probably left a handprint and I try not to glare her way and enrage another outburst. “I swear to god, Cole….” Her voice breaks and tears spring from her eyes, instantly dampening her cheeks. “If you leave me for this little, reject…” For a second, the pure heartbreak in her tone gets at me, cutting me in the chest, and I’m a little sorry for her. Not really knowing what love feels like, or what this would do to my heart if it was me. I guess a slap isn’t comparable to a devastated soul and the thought of losing someone you thought was your mate. That stupid part of me that cares, whether I should or not, and I find myself staring at the floor guiltily as though somehow accepting I’ve done something wrong here. I feel ashamed. “Be quiet. Go home and I’ll talk to you later. Right now, we are nothing until this gets rectified. I can’t have two mates. You know the laws.” It’s the edge in his tone that signals him executing his dominance and she recoils quickly, knowing when not to question or argue, even if her face gives away the pain in what he said. Alpha’s have a tone, reserved for times when pack animals won’t obey. It somehow renders us mute and makes us do what is asked of us and this is one of those times. Even I tremble at the effect it has on everyone present and have to stop myself from slinking back into the shadows. Not every male has the gift, only those who were born to lead. “Alora? That’s your name, right?” Colton turns to me, surprising me with the change, those chocolate eyes melting me when we connect and I have to look away again, too pulled towards him for my own liking and nod shyly. No control over his effect on me and I don’t like this one bit. Freedom was calling to me, and now this, annoying unfightable desire to be wrapped around the one guy I never wanted to know. “Or Lorey… I get called both.” It’s a feeble quiet mumble and I inwardly curse myself out for sounding as weak as his pack always labelled me. It’s no wonder they cast my bloodline to the reject pile. I’m no match for an alpha. Relax, I’m not going to hurt you. It’s his voice in my head and I flicker up, startled that he spoke to me inside my mind and not verbally. We’re not supposed to be able to do that when both in human form, and especially not when we’re not from the same pack. How can you…? I start to ask, replying in the same way without thinking and then inhale sharply as I realize, I just did the same thing. I’ve no idea if that breaks rules considering who he is.

Chapter 8 The Fallout Prt 2

We imprinted. We have a link; we can hear each other even from miles away. No distance is too far. No one else can tap into this. It’s like our own personal telephone line with dampeners. He isn’t looking at me, but watching Carmen walk down the hall, crying into her own hands and creating a pitiful picture. I can sense his pain from watching her go and it pains me too. Feeling what he feels, another downside to now being connected to this guy. I don’t want to feel heartbreak or pain or any of this crap. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for any of this. The honesty and ache in my response brings his eyes to mine and we do that weird thing, where we lock eyes, get a tremor of something we can’t deny, and both look away again. Neither want this, that much is clear. You didn’t do this. Fate did. Now we just have to figure out how to undo it. If that’s even possible. The hesitation in his tone catches me off guard and despite myself I look at him properly. His side profile of chiseled square jawline. Sallow skin and dark hair to match those dark eyes and brows. Colton is tall, muscular, and fit, which is only enhanced by being among the biggest wolves in the pack even at his age. His family originated from Colombia and you can see his heritage clearly, in the best kind of way, despite his mother being Caucasian. Me, I’m just a good old country white. Bland hair, plain girl, and nothing special or beautiful that I know of. Carmen is a goddess compared to me. The atmosphere turns cold as a troop of men come marching in from the same door we did, and I’m pushed out of the way ungraciously by one of them. I get knocked sideways, unable to stop myself, and for sure know I am spiraling down as I lose my footing. Still on unsure legs after tonight’s ceremony and unable to stop myself. The low growl and quick reflexes of Colton as he jolts in beside me and catches me to rights, sends my head spinning. His arms lassoing me and stopping my body colliding with the concrete wall, instead hitting his chest as I grasp on impulsively. His eyes glow amber over my head, as he death glares his displeasure at the men, unconcealed as that flash of warning oozes from him. That fierce mate protection coming out instinctively and I honestly don’t know how to react. Becoming someone’s mate is as much about instincts, as anything else. It changes you and makes you feel, do things, you didn’t before. Even if he hated me before this, that need to protect me and look after me will become his mission in life and vice versa. It’s completely crazy and I can’t believe it’s happening to me. His father, however, almost takes his head off with the rage filled bellow he aims his way. I realize a little too little, that’s who shoved me out of the way so forcefully right then. “Did you just growl at me?” He snarls our way and Colton curls his fingers around my waist and arm firmly. Juan lowers his brows severely, and glares at his son furiously, moving into his head link to continue his chastisement; the way Colton stiffens around me tells me so. Locked eye to eye, an intense standoff as the air thickens and his energy bristles. Captured in a tight embrace I know I shouldn’t try and break free from, although my body is responding quite happily to the contact. Feeling his anger radiating from him and the anxious uptight bubbling inside of me, as I start to sense what he’s feeling. I was never good with aggression and rage. And now the overwhelming amount he can spit out, as my mood takes on his, has me recoiling. Colton has a sea of dominant fury inside of him and his hostility knows no bounds. I try to blot out the projections I’m getting and close my eyes to focus on my breathing instead. Combatting growing heat and pulsing need from his touch, and fear and faintness from all the negative emotions flying between these two terrifying men. I feel like a piece of raw meat hung between two ferocious beasts. It’s like I don’t have full control of my mind or feelings anymore and try as I might, Colton now lives in my body as much as I do. They argue inwardly, silent on the surface, but all in the corridor remain still and patient as they are meant to when their alpha demands. Juan is one of the most intimidating of the pack leaders and I guess it’s why he moved so easily to prime position. Colton’s father spins on his heel finally, signaling they are done and marches off into a nearby doorway, clicking his fingers and gesturing us to follow. It’s all so hostile and unnerving that I flinch, heart erupting into hammering thuds. “If people could just keep their hands to themselves and off my mate, that would be great! Thanks.” Colton mumbles it under his breath, not meaning for me to hear and I throw him an awkward glance. My heart flipping over and my stomach churning uneasily at his words. He called me his mate. I can hear you, and for the time being… it’s what you are. We imprinted. We don’t exactly have a choice. Colton throws me a look that translates to ‘relax and follow me’ and I mutely do so, cheeks burning from stupidly letting him read my thoughts. Embarrassed that I’m stupid enough to not remember that thirty seconds after figuring it out. He fully lets me go and my body cools a little, somehow suddenly cold from the loss of him, and a weird emptiness fills me instead. I follow behind him quickly, into a large room that looks like a study with extra couches. The men all file in and sit down in random places and Colton ushers me to a nearby chair, padded and semi shadowed in the corner, out of direct line of any of the men. He stands close by and waits as his father circles a bookcase and comes to perch in the chair at the desk, looking out at all of us in his position of leader. “I need solutions. This….” He points at Colton and me. “Happens over my dead body. My son is destined to be alpha one day and I will be damned if his lineage is diluted by a mongrel with bad breeding. She is not going to be our Luna. Fix this. Find a way! I don’t care what the history books say, there has to be a way to break the bond and sever the connection, so he is free to mate up with a chosen female.” The stern tone of a man who doesn’t want to hear excuses and yet a tiny ounce of hope fills my chest. That there might still be a chance I can get out of this, and here, and follow my plan to get the hell away from Radstone once and for all. It’s even weirder that at the same time though, a desolate pain uppercuts me in the heart, at the thought of leaving him. Winding me, blind sighting me for a second. “You cannot fight fate. There are consequences if you ignore destiny. Imprinting does not happen to us all and when it does… you do not question it.” The Shaman is quick to verbalize but Juan slamming his hand on his desk, sending a loud thud through all of us brings silence once more. I stare at my feet and will the ground to open up and take me. Crushing pressure on my chest as anxiety envelops me. “Did you not hear me when I said, THIS is NOT happening! She is NOT going to be my sons’ mate. I will kill her before I let that happen.” Silence befalls the room as his biting tone echoes in the air, although I swear, I hear the most subtle of growls come from Colton’s way, so close beside me and make sure I don’t look at him. Instead I stare at my hands in my lap and pray for this to be over. Shaking internally and genuinely fearful for my life. Never have I actually wanted to be left to go back to the orphanage to spend time in my room with Vanka, but now it’s so calling to me. I don’t want anything as much as I want that right now, well except maybe this weird primal urge for the guy at my left to calm down a bit and stop plaguing me. I can feel him, overly so. Way too in tune and aware of him, even if he is three feet away. My body and mind are doing some weird things in relation to him and as terrified as I should be right now, I don’t feel it when he moves closer and somehow calms me without even looking my way. One backwards step of maybe a foot and he soothes my nerves back into warm gooey submission, that inner heat spreading as he gets close enough that his scent sparks some internal fire in me. “Then your son will die too, and we lose our future leader. You cannot break the bond without severe consequences. The choice has been made. Fate has chosen for him and you must obey.” The Shaman comes back, undeterred by Juan’s anger and stands as though to press the point. He’s low toned and confident in his wisdom and does not seem intimidated in any way.

Chapter 9 The Fallout Prt 3

“He can choose to sever the bond if he wishes, but history has shown us that mates who do… both die! The only other option is denial to consummate. They choose to walk away, no mark is made, no union at all, and deny the bond completely. It will never die, and they will live lives craving what the other can give them, no matter who they end up with. IS that what you want for your son?” All eyes turn on Juan, so much tension in this room as the elders internally talk so that I cannot hear them. Colton paces and I can tell he too is privy to what is being said. They are his pack after all, and two are his blood. Father and Uncle. He doesn’t seem happy and the waves of his anger are all lapping over me and affecting my own sanity. Dampening the heat, replacing it with his rage. I can’t take it anymore, as minutes tick by and my nerves fray to the point I feel like I may scream, some internal burst of nervous crazy wooshes out. “I’ll leave. I don’t want this either.” I blurt it out, into the deathly silence as hysteria gets the best of me and literally every single face turns to me in shocked response like they suddenly remembered I was here in this corner. I know I just spoke out of turn and disrespected everyone in this room, but I’m sat here wearing my own dried blood, shredded emotions and exhaustion pushing through. My heads a mess, and in the space of thirty minutes I discovered that being a virgin doesn’t mean you cannot get crazy urges to strip naked and jump someone’s bones, even if that someone you previously avoided like the plague. I’ve pictured him naked at least twice without even meaning too since he gave me every intimate one of his memories and some of those are him showering. What? “What?” Both Colton in my head and his dad verbally, in unison and I panic that I just spat this out loud. “It was the plan, my intentions. I mean after my … the um, tonight. My turning. I was leaving. Going away and it doesn’t have to change.” I sound insane. Babbling like a fool with verbal diarrhea and aware of the way all eyes are eating up my weak presentation of my crap contribution. I should have just run when I had the chance and screwed the running ceremony. “That won’t break the bond. We’ll still be connected, still linked. It will just make us miserable. Don’t you see? What happened tonight, it changed everything, for both of us.” Colton sounds deflated and I get the visual of him and Carmen together kissing, right from his head to mine and have to shake it away as insane jealously claws at my insides from out of nowhere, proving his point. Irrational, illogical but there it is, and he didn’t even mean to project his sad thoughts about her my way. “Then what? Because all I am hearing is hopeless submission or death!” My anger snaps, and out of somewhere deep inside, my bravado peaks and pushes me to my feet, voice strong and frustration seeping through. An inner surge of tingling electricity as my emotions peek and Colton looks at me in a very odd way. Suddenly stopping and staring insanely into my eyes while furrowing his brow dramatically, screwing up that cute face. “They’re not amber” he comes out with the most random reply and I blanche at him like he has two heads and no idea what he’s talking about. “What?” I stammer as he paces towards me. “Your eyes… when your inner wolf peeks. They’re not amber. They’re red. No one has red…. we all have amber.” He stalks towards me, grabbing my hand and spins me to him so he can inspect me closely. “Show me” He urges, and I gawp at him in bewilderment. Confused at the side-tracking of this conversation and feeling like I just fell through a reality hole. If I knew how to do it on command, then I would, but as I only transformed for the first time and have no idea how to call my inner wolf into my eyes again, I just stare at him, completely dumbfounded with the importance of a color. “Why does that matter?” I’m aware that despite the more urgent topic in hand, the Shaman has moved towards me also, and so has one of the silent elders. A formidable tall and muscular elder, whose grey white hair is not successful in lowering his intimidation levels and he snarls my way. “Because you are part white, and now Cole sees red in your eyes. It matters, now show us, or I will make you fully turn on my command and you won’t enjoy it.” He seethes my way, full on hostility in his tone and I shrivel back, scalded and instantly fearful. Colton reacts instinctively, at the veiled threat, and chaos ensues. In the flash of a blink, he’s between me and the elder, growling, eyes glowing wildly, body larger and bristling with tension as he turns to him and huskily warns him off. “My mate…. mine! You touch her…. I will exert my right to maim or kill to protect her. I don’t care who you are in this pack!” His tone drops to satanic levels and I recoil behind him, seeing the ripple of spines up his back as he begins to transform aggressively. My stomach hits my knees, making me weak, unsure what else to do as the Shaman intervenes as fear paralyses me to the spot. “See. This is what happens when you delay the bond. The urge gets insane the longer you deny it. The need to protect, the need to be joined. It creates madness. Colton, be still. No one is going to touch your mate without your say so, and we will look at her eyes in time. Breathe and come back to us.” He places a hand on his shoulder and gently brings Colton back to my side, lifting my hand and places it on Colton’s gently, before patting both and setting us down. The instant spark and warmth generated between us gives me all kinds of safe and familiar vibes I’ve not known in almost ten years. Not since I last saw my parents alive and home. It seems to do the same to him, as his eyes fade back to brown, and he inhales slowly bringing peace to the aura between us. “His mate holds the key to bringing him calm. Be that now. We need to talk without you both here. Go, the room through there.” The Shaman points us towards an adjoining door and Colton grasps my fingers in his tightly, his energy pulsing through mine and it does seem to bring him back from turning. I can’t explain it, but here holding his hand, it’s the first time in a long time I feel a connection of love for anyone. That sense of belonging that I lost the day my family left me.

Chapter 10 The Fallout Prt 4

I barely knew him this morning and yet, here, and now, my instincts are that I would die for him if I had to, and the longer this plays out, the stronger this need to be near him gets. It’s insanity, and I have no understanding of how this can be, but it is what it is. Colton is part of me now and I can’t do anything about it. While being physically joined causes all sorts of inner sparks and sizzles as tension builds between us and I move obediently as he pulls me with him. We are ushered to the door, hands still entwined and I follow him closely, the heady need to wrap myself around him worse when we have prolonged contact and as much as my head tells me to let go, I can’t seem to. The growing ache in my stomach and pelvis is getting irritatingly intense and I am more than aware of his good his skin feels against mine. Our hands slotted together, warm on warm and it’s weirdly sensual. Colton leads me through to the other room and shuts the door firmly behind us. Still holding my hand and keeping me by his side as he turns to me. He gazes down at our entangled fingers for a long second, seems like he too is telling himself to let go, but he doesn’t. We stand stiffly, a pulsating energy growing between us as the air thickens and I find it harder to breathe the longer he’s this close. Fully aware of him towering over me in all his beautiful muscular glory, hot body and way too good looks. Even his voice does crazy tingly things to me and standing absorbing his heat, inhaling his unique scent, I start to get clammy in really embarrassing places. My eyes keep straying to his face, his mouth, his really pretty face and I edge closer absentmindedly, biting on my lip as crazy thoughts about leaning up and biting his, course through my brain alarmingly. I need to cool down and pull this back in. Hormones are obviously well and truly kicking in with his proximity and I need to breathe a little. “How can I want to kiss someone so badly that a few hours ago I never even knew? I have a girlfriend. Did, have one. My heads a mess.” He looks instantly distraught and squeezes my hand in his a little forcefully before reluctantly releasing me and stepping back. Calming my jets as guilt punches me in the stomach and I realize maybe he’s not getting as hot and bothered as I am standing here. “This is … insane. I don’t know you …. How can we…?” He paces away from me, seemingly in turmoil, then past me twice, back, and forth and then turns to me again. I shrug at him, unsure what else to say. If I knew the answers then I guess we wouldn’t be here like this. I’m a little out of my depth and struggling to get this raging fire under control in my pelvis as, what I assume is my libido, finally introduces herself to me and I have to stop checking out his ass as he keeps waving it past me. It’s making me all squirmy and uneasy and so sure he can probably tell with a look that I am about three seconds away from launching at him. Shuffling from foot to foot and swallowing hard, blowing out heavily to release this growing pressure in my stomach. “Please tell me you are feeling this too. That this is not just me?” He stops and frowns at me, his eyes looking a little hazy and intense as he stares at my mouth and almost electrocutes me with the connection. I glance away, face flushing with his effects on me and try to focus on the floor, the table, a wall, and cool off this really hugely, suddenly suffocating room around us. I can feel him without touching him, his presence ebbing into me and stirring up all kinds of longings and sensations. “I think that’s how it’s meant to work. We’re supposed to want to, you know… mate.” I blush as I say it and look away again, overwhelmed with sudden shyness. Uneasy with this admission he wants to kiss me, while I’m all kinds of flustered, hot, tingly, and itching to slide my hands over that strong wide chest and…… Oh god, stop. I mean, I do too, want to kiss him that is. I have done since after the whole imprinting thing, but I just didn’t think we should be admitting those kinds of things to one another. Especially when neither of us actually wanted this. And I’m finding it really hard to breathe at all as my lungs constrict and my heart flakes out with him being close enough to inhale, lick, grope….. I really need to get a grip. I pull the neckline of my T shirt to release the heat coming off in droves from me and fan my face to push these insane urges and mental images of him naked, out of my head. I want him to kiss me so badly, I can almost taste it. I don’t get a chance to give any kind of verbal response or even encouragement. I don’t even get a chance to look up or think, and his sudden sweep into me, his fingers yanking my chin up as his lips crash into mine, knock me for six. I’m shocked, frozen for a second by the instant lip to lip assault, but as soon as his warm mouth molds to mine, I literally lose all control. I kiss him back, hormones let loose and that craving hunger finding what it wanted after all, with a fever incomparable to anything and get lost in the sweetest tasting past time ever invented. Now I know what an urge taking over feels like and my inner wolf pushes beyond any control I have. His lips open mine, tongues meeting for the first time and I experience my first ever French kiss with a clearly practiced mouth. I groan, succumb to his expertise as he yanks me into him and bodily crashes us together intimately. Our teeth clash with sheer ferocity in the devouring way we got at one another and his hand rakes my body, grinding me to him like he can’t get enough as I completely succumb. Lust fuels the animals in us, and he picks me up under the thighs, his grip bruising my tender skin as he wedges his body between my legs, pulling them around his waist and walks me back so he can jam me up against the wall, to fully push himself against me. He kisses me harder, with a passion that sets us on fire and I grasp and claw at his shoulders and neck in utter abandonment, scratching, biting , kissing and finding my rhythm and confidence in what he’s doing to my mouth.. His tongue caresses mine and mentally I blurt insanely… I want you inside of me. I’m going to self-combust if you don’t. Not even sure if I mind linked, or where this thought even came from, given I’m a virgin and never had a sexual urge in my life, but it only seems to make him kiss me all the more passionately. All sense lost as this bond engulfs us and he grinds into me until my urges reach fever pitch of heightened horniness and I start panting with the effort as my body vibrates and craves his desperately.

Chapter 11 The Fallout Prt 5

I wrap my arms around his neck tightly, almost choking him with the way I latch on, devouring him with equal fervor and find my motion, rubbing my pelvis up against what is clearly an erection, a very solid bulge in his pants, as we meet in every way. It doesn’t even shame or shock me, instead it fuels my need to strip him naked and get on top of him to complete this union. He feels like the best thing in the world, smells, tastes, touches in a way that drives me insane with need and I now realize this bond is more powerful than even I gave it credit for. I want him so badly I might actually lose my mind if we don’t do this. Grinding into one another, my crotch fitted to his and breathing labored, I experience the real first moments of a building climax, even though we haven’t done anything properly. Just the motion of his rough jeans between my thighs, over my panties, his kiss, his hands on me and the feel of him, has me unravelling insanely. I never knew much about sex before today and now; I literally cannot contain the need to have it with him and might even get my first orgasm without losing my virginity. Colton catches my hand roughly and pulls it above my head, pinning me back against the wall hard, crazily sexy, exposing my neck to him while my arm pulls my long hair back out of his way. I turn my face, knowing what he wants almost instinctively, heart hammering through my labored breathing and tighten my grip around him to keep him close. Sliding away from my mouth to my neck, he licks from the base of my throat and up to my jawline, igniting a wave of tingles and goosebumps that makes me clench my thighs together around him. He groans at the pressure, which shoves his hard on against me firmly. My core pulsing with need as he focuses on something else entirely. Mark me… take me. I’m yours. Finalize the union. The wanton voice of a girl begging for release, that I don’t recognize, and he responds with a low growl that stirs everything low down inside of me. I want nothing more. God, I need you so badly. Primal urge is no match for common sense, and as his teeth elongate and graze the soft skin of my neck, holding me taut against the wall, fully submissive, angling me in readiness to leave his mate mark on my neck, I moan in pleasure and squeeze my eyes closed at his touch. Holding my breath as I wait for the one thing that will calm the insanity in this need between us. A transference of blood and sex and we are united for life. Bearing marks that tie us together and shows everyone we’re bonded. I tense and exhale as his hot breath and soft mouth nestle on the naked skin near my jugular and a sharp graze presses against the pulsing spot of my throat. A tiny inkling of piercing points pricking into the first thin layers, fully ready for the biting pain I know will probably come, but so close to self-combustion that I think it might make me climax. I dig my nails of my one free hand into his shoulder, clamping onto him brutally in sheer ecstasy and swell with the transference of the pleasure he feels as it consumes me too. Seems he likes a bit of pain. An almighty high-pitched screech assaults my senses, shatters glass in the room around us in dramatic mini explosions, combusts inside my head so crazily painfully that I snap my eyes open and scramble to claw my palms over my ears, yanking them from him. Colton’s body tenses and he releases me clumsily. Dropping me to my feet in alarm that has us scrambling to shield our ears in unison, brains shuddering with the excruciating squealing whine on our elevated senses. Colton bristles into half turning, teeth, claws, face changing, as his protective instincts make him fight ready and poised to protect me. Turning on the source as he tries to stay upright, and I crumble behind him to the floor in a useless heap. Clutching at my head to drown it out before my brain actually pops. “How could you?” Carmen wails, so insanely tonal it’s like a dog whistle and things on the shelves in the room begin to vibrate as she keeps that infernal noise going. It dawns on me; this is one of her gifts. She can shatter with high pitch frequency and I clutch my ears in alarm as she begins to howl louder. Colton somehow seems to be more able to battle it and attempts to tackle her into the hall, to try and stop the eardrum puncturing noise. It’s insanely painful. “You said you loved me!” She screams at him, pushing back to get at me, losing her sanity and going for the kill. Her eyes glowing brightest orange as she loses all self-control as her nails elongate to full on wolf claws and her teeth begin to peek. He changes from pushing her out, to dragging her back away from me and wrestling what is a mid-transforming she-wolf. “I did … I mean, I do. I don’t know what I’m saying. Calm down, Carmen.” He picks her up from behind, covering her mouth with one hand harshly, pressing until she relents for a gasp of air and turns her around, before pinning her to the wall to restrain her and get control. The tone that dominates, the one none of us can fight, comes out of him ruthlessly and reminds me why all should be afraid of the Santo Alpha’s. “Stop it now! And stop screaming!” He growls it her way devilishly, and even though I’m not even saying a word, I instantly slam my mouth shut too. Instant feeble submission because he Alpha-toned us and there’s not a lot you can do about it. She instantly quiets, falling into utter silence, relief immediate but my ears are ringing in the aftermath and I am so dazed I can’t immediately get up. As I finally scramble myself to my knees to try, the door bursts open and Juan storms forward, , half man, half beast, semi transformed in a ripped shirt and jacket, ready to take on the intruder, and stops dead in his tracks. The elders and Shaman hot on his tail in similar state of urgency, and they all gawp at the scene before them. “What’s going on? What happened?” he commands snappily, seething rage, and I sink down into the corner once more, huddling into a ball and wishing myself a million miles away from all of this. This just can’t get any worse. “Your son was in the middle of marking that Reject! …. MY mate has betrayed me!” She wails again in desolation, and I feel every single angry glare turn from her to me, and then Colton, as silence deafens us all.