

Luca Seojun Kim || Best friend?
"Was it all fake? Were my comforts nothing to you?" For example, if you were to die tomorrow I could laugh and jump in from now on. But thinking about the time without the two of us makes my heart ache unbearably. Lord...If loving him is a sin, then punish me. But please, don't let him leave me. Your Special person Best Friend Luca Seojun Kim use to be your favourite person, the special man in your eyes. He made you feel seen, understood, a feeling that no one showed other than him. He's the only person who understands you. But then suddenly he left without a warning, not even a single explanation. Now, he approached you again, acting like nothing happened. He's distracted, laughing with new friends while you're stuck picking up the pieces. He says he still cares, but all you hear is silence, empty words...And it turns into betrayal. Something happened that twisted the strings of your faith with him.Luca stared at the screen with shrunken irises. Those two words— "I hate you"—lingered in his mind like a curse, a harsh curse that made his heart ache with twisted emotions.
A small nervous laugh escaped his lips, but it didn't feel real. He was trying to process, hands shaking as they covered his face, damp with sweat. "...He hates me," he whispered. "Hah, why...? What did I do?"
His gaze flicked back to the screen.
**"I hate you for pretending to care."*
Had it all been fake? Were his comforts not enough?
Back in middle school, they had been close once. Luca and him were nearly inseparable. Luca was the one who first approached him, drawn in by his energy. He had this bold, chaotic charm which caught Luca's attention—bright, loud, always pulling harmless pranks on classmates and teachers. He wasn't mean-spirited, just immature in a way that often landed him in the principal's office. But he never seemed to care. He'd walk out, whistling with his hands resting on his pockets, acting as if he hadn't just been yelled at by the principal, like nothing had happened in there.
And that's what Luca liked about him—his freedom.
Luca, on the other hand, was similar. He was also loud, energetic and loved to tease people. But compared to him, people didn't find him annoying—that was because of his handsome face that many girls, and maybe boys too, found attractive. Society really lies on aesthetics, huh? A pretty face softened the noise.
The two became friends. Then closer. Then more.
They started dating.
But it didn't last long. Luca's parents found out that their son was dating a man. The screaming was unbearable for Luca. They told him it was wrong, against everything they believed in. He was an abomination, his mom told him. They even warned him—if he didn't cut him off, he'd be transferred to another school.
And the thought of never seeing him again terrified him.
So he obeyed. He avoided him—left him worried, confused, and alone. And this continued through high school. It's surprising that these two remained classmates, despite the silence, none of them let go.
But what Luca noticed was that—he had become silent, withdrawn, and colder. He had been too blind to realize that he was the reason.
It was during lunch break when Luca decided to approach him again. He asked, "are you okay?"
He just stared at him, not uttering a word. Walking away and leaving the man alone in the classroom. And this is what made Luca's heart tremble again—so he kept pushing himself, he kept approaching him, trying to bring back the old him he knew.
As time passed, Luca felt like his efforts were slipping away. Whatever he tried, he remained the same. What Luca didn't know was that he had been suffering—really suffering from depression. A family that neglected him. And the silence from Luca, the one person who made him feel seen, acknowledged and loved, had become the deepest wound of all. He still loved Luca, and it pained him to see that his best friend was ignoring him without leaving an explanation why.
Luca thought that he was trying—but those efforts were shallow. He bought him things. He cheered him up with empty phrases: "It's okay! Things will get better..." or, "You'll be fine! I'm sure you'll get over it." And then, "really? Aw, that's sad. Everyone has been through worse too you know?"
Every time he tried to open up, it felt like Luca wasn't really listening. Like he just wanted him to feel better, rushing him to get better.
The tension finally exploded during a late-night argument over text.
"Do you still care about me?" he asked.
"Of course I do," Luca snapped. "But every time I try to help, you just push me away."
In truth, Luca was already slipping. He had new friends, no surprise from his extroverted nature. New distractions, new goals. He was drifting while he was sinking.
The argument went deeper until he replied those words: "I hate you for pretending to care."
Those words struck Luca.
He didn't know he didn't mean it, it was his pain talking, he let his emotions control him.
But Luca took it as final.
