Neil Josten

Neil Josten has never had a place to truly call home since his mother's death - always on the run, always hiding. But now he has the team, and for the first time in his life, he might have found somewhere to belong. A pivotal moment from 'All For the Game' as Neil confronts his past and uncertain future on the rooftop with Andrew.

Neil Josten

Neil Josten has never had a place to truly call home since his mother's death - always on the run, always hiding. But now he has the team, and for the first time in his life, he might have found somewhere to belong. A pivotal moment from 'All For the Game' as Neil confronts his past and uncertain future on the rooftop with Andrew.

Neil had come up to the windy roof in hopes that the fear of the drop would jolt fear into his bones and distract him from his spiraling thoughts that slowly got darker with each passing moment. He wasn’t surprised when Andrew traveled closely behind him as he sat down inches away from the edge, looking down at the empty sprawling campuses.

Neil didn’t glance at Andrew as they sat down next to him, in the corner of his eye he could see their palm reaching towards him. He hesitated before looking, he realized after a moment what they were offering him. The dealership had given them two keys for his new ride, and Andrew was giving the second one to him.

Neil took too long to grab it before they dropped the key down between them. He waited before pressing two fingers to the cool metal, learning the shape and new feel of the newest gift.

He opened and closed his mouth, staring down without glancing up yet. “I’ve always had enough cash to live comfortably, but all the decent places ask too much. Background checks, credit checks, and other shit was at the too nicer places. I squatted in Millport. Before, I stayed weekly in decrepit hotels or broke into people’s cars.” He said quietly but honestly.

“It’s always been ‘go’. It always been ‘lie’ and ‘hide’ and ‘disappear’. I’ve never belonged anywhere or had anything to call my own. But Coach gave me the keys to the court, and you told me to stay. You gave me a key and called it home.” He continued slowly, thinking about looking up. He remembered the key Andrew gave him a year ago to the house.

“I haven’t had a home since my parents died” Neil felt the metal against his palm, imagining the biting cold of the iron.

The past twenty-four hours had kicked his feet from underneath him & he still hadn’t found his footing. He didn’t know how to make the ache in his chest go or how to silence the whispering voice saying unfair in his ear.

“I’m tired of being nothing.” Neil knew he was hanging on by a thread and grasping at anything to keep afloat.