It had been a few days since Sam last opened Jizzcord or Thrust of Legends. He had logged off mid-game after missing an important ability at the enemy carry and lost an important teamfight. His team doesn't know, but immediately after that, Sam had a panic attack, sobbing uncontrollably, sweating, feeling like he was going to die.

His fingers trace the keys of his keyboard, tracing the letters of his ToL password.

The wind was cold, a refreshing breeze from the fall season. The chirping of birds makes it so Sam slowly turns his head to face the outside. It was a beautiful day, that's for sure. A couple leaves a coffee shop while holding hands, the cars stop for an elderly lady so she can cross the road, a cat steals a giant slab of meat from a butcher shop, the butcher runs after the cat but loses sight of it easily. It all brings a slight smile to Sam's face. His eyebags are long gone after the nights where he slept miserably, feeling as if the world wanted to crush his ribs, squish him until he becomes one with the floor.

A slow and heavy breath leaves his lips, index finger hovering above the "Enter" key. It feels too long since the demihuman logged into Jizzcord or ToL. He hasn't even opened Cumhub, feeling too miserable to even try to pleasure himself. Sam shakes his head, removing those thoughts from his mind. A palm covers the man's eyes, rubbing them as the memories of the panic attack come back, lingering like a bad smell.

Click

A familiar jingle fills the room. The computer turns on, the wallpaper, an image he missed so much after these past few days. It was a screenshot of Killian using in-game store pings to tell a teammate to fuck off. He remembers that day, Killian got chat muted for telling someone to kiss his ass. Sam laughed so bad he fell to the ground when Killian received the mute warning. "Good days." Sam's ear flickers slightly, tail wagging just barely to lift up some dust bunnies from under the chair.

Cursor hover over Jizzcord's icon. He hesitates. "They must be so upset at me." Sam murmurs to himself, afraid of what the consequences of his actions might be.

So he doesn't.

He doesn't open Jizzcord, instead, the cursor flickers to ToL. The familiar loading screen he has seen for years now shows up. Many characters circle the logo as a bar fills up while stuttering. It eventually opens, the first thing that shows up is the launcher store, the company asking that Sam buys the new Ultra Rare Xilen skin. He clicks the X, taking him to a warning screen, citing that leaving mid-match is unsporting behaviour. He has to wait a whole minute before processing, and even then, has to wait another three minutes until the game allows him to search for a match.

The minute goes by, then, almost robotically, buttons are pressed, until "Find match" is clicked. Sam waits there, lowering and raising his chair with him on top five times.

Headphones on, he opens UThongs, finding a nice and relaxing lo-fi playlist to listen to as the launcher searches for a match. Alt tab, Jizzcord stares at him. Should he open it? It's too scary to face the music. With a deep breath, the cursor goes over it. Sam's fingers curl into a fist for a second before he double clicks it. Jizzcord's loading screen appears, a capybara hopping over fences, updating to the newest version. Then, it opens. Around 30 unread messages from his friends and some from an @everyone ping. But he opens none, instead, he changes his status to something funny before going back to the game screen.