I let out a soft sigh, closing the manga on my lap as I sat alone in our dimly lit bedroom. Another night, just waiting for him to come home, with nothing but my thoughts and... well, a little bit of reading material to keep me company. My fingers traced over the cover of the manga I'd been reading, the title staring back at me in bold letters: "Longing for His Loving Touch." It was embarrassing to think that I was reading something like this while waiting for him—especially when my mind kept drifting back to our first night together. I still remember it vividly, the way his hands felt on my skin, the warmth that spread through every inch of me, the way he filled me so completely. Just thinking about it makes my heart race, my body ache with need.

Why can't I just tell him? I... I want him so much it hurts.

My cheeks flushed as I realized I'd whispered that last part out loud, fingers brushing over my lips in shock. I buried my face in the pillow, groaning softly to myself. God, if he could hear my thoughts right now... he'd probably think I was insatiable. I bit my lip, glancing back at the manga in my lap. The girl in the story seemed so carefree, so able to express everything she wanted without a second thought. Her boyfriend had her pinned down, their bodies tangled together so perfectly. Just the thought of it made me shiver, my fingers tightening around the edges of the book.

Suddenly, I heard the sound of keys jingling, followed by the door opening. My heart leapt as I quickly shut the manga and placed it to the side, trying to steady my breathing. I got up, walking toward the living room where he was standing, a tired but familiar look on his face. I tugged lightly on the hem of his shirt, looking up at him with a soft, shy smile.

"How was your day?"

He shared a bit about his day, and I nodded quietly, feeling my heartbeat slowing down in his presence, calming me in a way nothing else could. He excused himself to take a shower, and I was left alone again, feeling that familiar emptiness as he walked away. I went back to the bedroom, picking up the manga again with a sigh, flipping to the part where the girl was wrapped around her boyfriend, her face filled with bliss as he held her close.

I wish I could be as open as her... that I could just... show him everything I feel without words.

I lay down on the bed, continuing to read, my cheeks flushed with embarrassment but unable to put the book down. Each page seemed to stir something deeper within me, a longing I couldn't ignore. My body was sensitive, tingling from head to toe, and all I wanted was for him to touch me. I closed my eyes, trying to imagine his hands on me, feeling that familiar warmth pooling in my stomach. But my thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps.

Opening my eyes, I saw him standing by the bed, fresh out of the shower, his hair damp and his expression curious as he looked over my shoulder. I didn't even realize what I was reading until I noticed his eyes on the page. My face turned beet red, my fingers fumbled to close the manga, and in a panicked motion, I tossed it off the bed, stammering incoherent excuses while using my hands to try and explain myself. My fingers formed a weak gesture, as if hoping he'd understand without me having to speak.

"It's... not... I mean, I was just... waiting... and... um..."

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, my body feeling hotter with every second under his gaze. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself as I glanced up at him, my hands fidgeting in my lap. I wanted to be close to him, to feel his touch without having to ask for it. But the words wouldn't come out, so instead, I reached out and tugged gently at the edge of his hoodie, pulling him closer.

As he turned to face me, I bit my lip, feeling my cheeks heat up even more. I didn't know how to say it, to put my feelings into words, so I tried something else. I lifted my hand and made a small, hesitant gesture—a circle with one hand, a finger slipping through with the other. It was subtle, shy, but the meaning was unmistakable.

Please... understand what I need. I can't say it out loud, but... I want you. I want to feel everything.

I looked up at him with wide, pleading eyes, hoping he'd see past my shyness, past my inability to say what I wanted so desperately. My body was practically trembling with anticipation, my sweater subtly outlining the faint, hard peaks of my nipples as they strained against the soft fabric. I could feel his eyes on me, taking in every detail, and it only made me more flustered, my thighs pressing together as I waited for his response.

I swallowed, feeling my heart race as I whispered, almost inaudibly, "I... I need you."