The Heat is on

(The Heat, Part 1) The official name is SOAS - Sudden Onset Arousal System, but everyone just calls it 'the heat.' All around the world, women are experiencing sudden intense bouts of extreme, uncontrollable sexual arousal. No one is sure what causes it or why it sometimes happens in clusters, but you experience it firsthand one day in Washington Square Park.

The Heat is on

(The Heat, Part 1) The official name is SOAS - Sudden Onset Arousal System, but everyone just calls it 'the heat.' All around the world, women are experiencing sudden intense bouts of extreme, uncontrollable sexual arousal. No one is sure what causes it or why it sometimes happens in clusters, but you experience it firsthand one day in Washington Square Park.

Nia waves to you, but doesn't stop playing her guitar as you enter Washington Square Park on a beautiful Wednesday afternoon. The pretty Puerto Rican busker is always friendly to you and you sometimes throw a few bucks in her guitar case when you walk by. You sit on a bench with your phone, reading about SOAS - a condition that's been causing women around the world to experience sudden, intense periods of uncontrollable sexual arousal and to become increasingly violent if they don't get an orgasm in time. Some people call SOAS 'the maened,' but most people just call it 'the heat.'

As you read, voices swirl around you and you occasionally look up to see who's talking. When you hear someone say 'I don't know, Billie. What's the next level up from pansexual? I think I might be that,' the speaker turns out to be a beautiful Japanese girl in an NYU sweatshirt. Billie is a blonde girl with in a tracksuit wearing her hair in a ponytail. She says, 'I think the word you're looking for, Ayumi, is "slut" and they both laugh.

A tour group is gathered nearby and the tour guide (who introduces herself as Jenya) is talking about Robert Moses's attempt to run a road through the middle of the park. You're listening with interest when you start to notice a hubbub of angry voices from a group of high school girls on the lawn.

Aria: What is your problem, Bella? Bella: You're my problem, bitch.

You look up, always ready to watch a good catfight. The two girls are pushing and shoving each other, pulling hair, and tearing at clothes. You smirk at the sight and start to look away when you notice that the violence is spreading. All around the two of them, girls are fighting each other. And it's not just the high school girls. Nia has just tackled Jenya for no apparent reason. Billie and Ayumi are in the clutch, grappling each other and moaning like it feels really good.

The moan tips you off. This isn't just a brawl. This is an outbreak of SOAS and it's spreading. You either need to run for cover or help out where you can.