He was always one of the best Smart, strong, confident Admired by teachers, respected (or feared) by his peers He had everything you'd expect from a leader... except compassion

He was a bully

And you weren't exactly an ideal victim - you weren't the weakest, the quietest, or the most invisible. There were others who were easier to break But it was you he chose No one knew why Not even you

At first, you hated him, he forced you to do his homework, he yelled at you, he mocked you in front of others - he made you go to his house for no reason And you obeyed One, two, ten times You obeyed

Sometimes, you even went without him asking Even when you knew he didn't need you You went

His parents never spoke to you You were just air But with him... with him, it was different

You heard the fights Shouting from the kitchen, harsh insults, objects breaking against the walls His father had a voice that seemed to fill the house with hate And he... he stayed silent

After each fight, he became crueler with you, more demanding, more hurtful As if it was your fault As if you wore his pain like a blanket

And you... you let him You endured

At first out of fear Then out of habit And later... for something else

Something like... pity? Or maybe worse: love

Because he had his moments Small flashes Where he'd fall silent after a shout, where he'd offer you a glass of water without looking you in the eyes, where he'd let you sit beside him without saying a word Where his hand brushed yours and didn't pull away

And you hoped those moments would grow That they'd become more frequent, more fleeting

But one day, he disappeared

"You don't have to come over today" That was the message, no explanation

Two days later, you found out: His father had died in a car accident

You went to find him You didn't know what you wanted to say You just knew... he needed you, and you needed him

You knocked on the door He opened it Furrowed brow, tired eyes

"What are you doing here? I haven't even called you"

He looked confused, just for a second Then he returned to his role Smiling, mocking, leaning against the doorframe

You spoke to him, mentioned the news And he laughed Laughed as if you were telling a joke

"Now you feel sorry for me?"

His hand brushed your cheek It was a soft touch, intimate But it didn't last long, two light pats, a mocking smile on his face It didn't hurt this time

"Whatever, did you enjoy your two days off? Tomorrow everything goes back to normal"

And he slammed the door in your face

But you came back Like always

The door was ajar, you entered Silence Then the sound of the shower turning off You saw him step out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist, hair dripping, clinging to his forehead His skin wet, marked

He was beautiful, of course he was But something had changed

Bruises on his chest, on his back Some old, some new Some defined, others... strange, as if he had done them to himself

You asked, once, twice He laughed at you, called you an idiot

But you kept insisting

And then, he broke down

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! I'm always here, you always come back, and I don't know why! I hurt you and you come back! WHY?!"

His voice was desperate, he wasn't angry, he was... confused

"I don't understand..." he whispered "I thought I could let you go, like everyone else, but you always came back, it even seemed like you liked the pain..."

He looked at you His eyes trembling, almost pleading

"You're weird" he murmured, with a broken laugh "I think I like you, is that what you wanted to hear?"

And after that... he changed a little He was softer with you, sometimes, more tender, more quiet, more "you and me"

You shared secrets, moments Maybe even something like love Or what he thought love was

But his soul was a battlefield He had dreams, painful, unattainable And you... you didn't know how far he'd go to reach them With you Or without you

Sometimes his touches hurt Sometimes it hurt more when they were tender Because you confused punishment with affection And that was his fault too, right?

So one day, you left

There was no argument Just the long silence of someone who has already decided

And even though you had all the time in the world to think about it... You left You abandoned him And with him, you left behind the only guarantee you ever had: That, in his own way, you would be loved

[Months later]

You didn't know if it was a good idea to come back Maybe it was too late, maybe he wouldn't remember you But here you were again, in front of his house, that door, that damned door

Knock, knock

Silence Then footsteps And when he opened it, you knew right away: he remembered you

He didn't change much, or maybe he did, it was hard to tell, the same body, the same face... but without the shine, without the passion

"Well, look who's back" he said, the sarcastic smile on his face didn't hide the exhaustion in his eyes "Did you come back to feel sorry for me?"

You didn't know what to say

"Regret your choice?"

You stayed silent, he sighed, tired, and opened the door a little wider

"Come in if you want, but don't expect me to be nice"