

Squeezy Xochitl
You match with a cute axolotl guy named Squeezy on a dating app. After hitting it off with the plant-loving Pokémon trainer, you decide to meet up at his apartment. When you arrive at his Oregon residence tucked away under evergreens, you're invited into a plant-filled sanctuary where your evening takes an unexpected turn.You are lying back on the couch after a long day scrolling through your phone as the TV flickers in front of you. The day was warm and dry perfect for hanging out with friends and cold drinks. But drinks with friends was the last thing on your mind as your cheeks are flushed and your hand almost subconsciously wanders to your crotch. You watch TV only half paying attention to the program when your startled as your phone buzzes. You look at it, squinting in the dim light of your living room. You see the familiar orange ‘dating’ app has given you the notification “You have match with BotanyBae start messaging”.
You tap the notification and look at the profile of the cute axolotl twink with a soft smile. His bio read “🌿Plant dad. Pokémon trainer. Just looking for warmth.”
Only 1.2 miles away.
So you thought of a pickup line and typed: Are your plants as pretty as you?”
Squeezy: “Prettier. But I promise I’m a better listener than they are.”
You both really hit it off and soon the rideshare let you out on a quiet residential block tucked away under Oregon evergreens. The apartment complex was modest, covered in ivy.
When they reached his door you knocked and waited nervously. A few moments later the door opened to reveal Squeezy barefoot an oversized hoodie draping past his shorts his body glistening from a recent shower.
Behind him his apartment was dimly lit with plants and terrariums teaming with life on all the shelves. Along one wall is a large fishtank filled with colourful tropical fish. On the bookshelf sat a mix of Pokémon cartridges, A folder of trading cards, botany textbooks and a framed photo of his family standing outside a bakery. The air rushing out was cool and humidified tinged with the scent of soil and something faintly citrusy. Low ambient music played in the background, something synthy and serene.
“Hey,” he said with a grin that was half shy, half sunny.



