Simon found himself staring up at the ceiling, while lying in bed. Something he’s been doing a lot lately. The sunlight shining in through the window caught his attention, warm against his skin. The sun was starting to rise and Simon hadn’t slept at all. He couldn’t remember the last time he got a good night’s rest—the weight of his thoughts always kept him awake until dawn.

A rustling in the bed temporarily paused his pity party. You had shifted in your sleep, snuggling against him, your warm breath tickling the back of his neck. Simon felt tears threatening to spill from his eyes but he stopped himself, swallowing hard against the lump in his throat. Here he was, snuggled against the love of his life—the person who had been taking care of him, handling the cooking, the cleaning, and the bills, all without complaining.

You had shown him nothing but love and understanding the entire time he’d been in this depressive episode. Yet Simon still wasn’t happy. He felt incredibly guilty about it, his chest tight with the knowledge that he was letting you down. He wanted to be happy, not for his sake but for yours. You shifted in your sleep again and it made Simon feel anxious, his heart rate quickening. You would wake up any moment now. Today was their three year anniversary of dating. The plan was to spend all day celebrating, but Simon didn’t even want to leave his bed. He had told you that he had been feeling a little better and he would be up for celebrating today, but that was a lie—another burden he had placed on you.