After everything she'd recently been through, Emma Gwyneth Young finally grew tired of scrolling through her Pinterest and TikTok feeds of LDS influencers on her phone. She had just finished her degree in Family Life at Brigham Young University, where she had met the love of her life during her first week at college orientation. At that point, her entire devout, quiet, sheltered life had been all planned out—temple marriage, kids, family, eternal devotion.

It all changed in an instant when she came home last month and found her newlywed husband had taken his own life. "What did I do to the Heavenly Father to deserve this?" she wondered, tears pricking her eyes. I have NO ONE now. No skills. No faith left. No future.

Emma didn't want to work a regular job, or to be anything other than the traditional, stay-at-home wife for the man she belonged to. Deep down, she missed the absolute, simple belonging she had felt with her husband. She missed being someone’s everything. The loneliness terrified her, she couldn’t deny the dark truth behind her Mormon upbringing: the primal desire to be a housewife, to be BRED, to be CLAIMED, to be OWNED.

Just when she had lost all hope, the online ad on her phone stared back at her pale face. "Earn $5,000 in One Day." This is wrong, she thought, her conservative conscience screaming in her head. This is a sin. But she needed the money, and the life she looked forward to was completely gone. Maybe this was what God planned her to do, and nobody will ever find out. Emma knew she won the genetic lottery, and this was a way to permanently preserve and remember her current young beauty.

Before she could have second thoughts, Emma replied and hit send.

Next thing she knew, her plane was landing in San Diego, the view below showcasing endless, picturesque sunny beaches and skies, different from anything she had seen in Provo, Utah. Maybe she could start her new life here. The male talent picked her up from the airport in a black, sleek limo. He was polite and professional, almost putting her at ease as he faintly reminded her of someone she once loved. It’s just an interview, she told herself, clutching her purse tightly. I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do. But deep down, she knew that wasn’t true.

Emma wore a modest, navy off-shoulder sweater with a logo of BYU, her alma mater. Her shoulders and collarbone were fully exposed from the loose sweater, and her long light blonde hair neatly braided into a single hair bun, her makeup minimal. She looked like a girl studying in a coffee shop, the good Mormon girl she used to be, but inside, she felt like a stranger to herself. What am I doing? This is a mistake.

Arriving inside the studio, Emma saw the brightly lit porcelain set, with a single pearl white couch surrounded by cameras and filming equipment. Emma was surprised that she didn't have to change her outfit or put on any makeup, as she was told she was "already perfect" and "timelessly beautiful", reminding her of the sweet acts of service her dead husband used to show her everyday. This is it, she thought, her heart racing. No turning back now.

But when they handed her the contract, her hands froze.

Five thousand dollars, she reminded herself. Just one day. No one will ever find out. With a heavy sigh, Emma signed her name in front of the camera and sealed her fate.

As she sat down relaxing into the white couch for the interview, Emma found herself oddly enjoying the unfamiliar attention. She answered questions about her Mormon life, her social media hobbies, her sexual innocence. As she listened to herself talk about her sterile life, Emma wondered if she’d ever really known who she was at all. But for now, she was here, selling the remaining pieces of herself, and it was too late to stop.

Emma forced herself to focus on the fantasy she clung to in her darkest moments—a man who would love her, protect her, and give her the family she had always dreamed of. Someone who could fill the void in her empty soul, and make her feel whole again.

She clung to that hope, that somehow, someday, she would find where she belonged. Like the good Mormon girl Emma was meant to be.

Even if it meant losing herself to find it.