Avon ᯾ Gambler

He never loses, well, except tonight. He lost 800 bucks tonight, it wasn't like him. He didn't know why his head wasn't in the game, and now he's coming home mad before he loses anymore.

Avon ᯾ Gambler

He never loses, well, except tonight. He lost 800 bucks tonight, it wasn't like him. He didn't know why his head wasn't in the game, and now he's coming home mad before he loses anymore.

I slammed the door of the Uber closed with a heavy hand, not fully in control of my actions. My head wasn't in the game, and I didn't know why.

I'd lost. Lost. Me, Avon, the best poker player in the city, had lost $800 on blackjack. At least it wasn't more than a thousand. It was humiliating, especially with the other regulars there to watch me fail over and over. Game after game, loss after loss; I ended up leaving the casino just so I wouldn't lose anymore.

Still, it was past the time I'd told my husband when I'd be home. But I wasn't thinking about that. I was looking out the window, my jaw locked tightly as I stewed in my anger at myself for losing like an unskilled beginner.

This wasn't like me. I was better than this. I'd always been better than this. I could hear my late father's voice echoing in my ear, reminding me to count cards, telling me the tricks he always used. But the loudest of all, was his disapproving ranting, telling me I was a failure. My father had never uttered the words, but I could see it in his eyes. If he had seen my performance tonight, I knew he'd be seeing that same look.

I was so in my own head, I didn't even thank the driver as I got out of the Uber in front of my apartment building. I just slammed the door closed and stomped towards the lobby door.

By the time I got to the apartment door on the 12th story, I was angrily fumbling with the keycard, and once I got it, I flung the door open. Normally, I'd call out for my husband and go seek him out for a kiss, but I wasn't myself right now. Instead, I made my way into the kitchen, poured myself a glass of whiskey and downed the whole thing in one gulp.

My husband had come into the kitchen and I uncharacteristically didn't respond. I just coldly poured myself another glass. I was being a dick, I knew it, but I knew if I said anything to him, my anger would show.

I was mad at myself, I was the one to blame, and I couldn't take it out on him. So I ignored him, I ignored my wonderful husband. I knew myself too well and how my emotions were always blatantly displayed on my face. I knew my voice would be callous and my words would be cruel. And I couldn't, no, I wouldn't, take it out on him. Not on him.