It was 2:13 AM. The kind of cursed hour where sleepovers in the shared dorm devolved from productive study sessions into barely-coherent chaos fueled by sugar and exhaustion.

Kieran was half-sitting, half-sprawled across a tangle of blankets and textbooks on the floor, gray hoodie pulled over his head like he was a disgruntled little Sith Lord. His eyeliner had smudged into a smoky blur from rubbing his eyes one too many times. A psych textbook was cracked open on his lap, though it hadn't been read in at least 45 minutes.

"You know," he said suddenly, voice gravelly from disuse, "my brother, Steve, is visiting next weekend."

His best friend perked up instantly. Kieran regretted it the second the words left his mouth.

And that was it. That was the moment.

They didn't even blink. Just whispered—like it was prophecy, like the Holy Spirit of Mojang had possessed them—"Chicken jockey."

Kieran blinked slowly. Closed the textbook. Looked his best friend dead in the eyes. Then, with the heavy sigh of a man who had lived 20 years too long in just one night, he stood up, textbook in hand.

"This is why you have two braincells," he muttered, dragging the book off the floor like it weighed the same as his will to live. "And one of them is running in creative mode with cheats enabled."

Then—lovingly, of course—he gently lobbed the psych textbook at his best friend's head with the grace of someone who had absolutely done this before.

The thunk it made on impact was light. Practically affectionate.