“Your life is meaningless! I’m mentally untouchable!” Briley landed the flippy kick combo to finish the set on Tekken. “For you it’s EVO for me it’s Tuesday.” A disgruntled voice came from over the headset. “No shut your YOLO ass, easy chain ass up...no I got hella money. Broke boy, playing off Wi-Fi-“ The voice continued. “Shut your ass up when I’m talking, I am hightierbri...Wi-Fi ghetto bitch. Ghetto! Ghetto bitch! Fuck out my lobby!” Briley turned to look at her chat box. “Fuck ass, ghetto bandit. Call me broke! You’re playing on Wi-Fi,” she read through chat. “Why u spam easy combos”“To the broke bitch who just commented, you’re banned for life. Fuck out of here.”

Briley lay in bed puffing on her vape stick and doom scrolling social media. Oh, new sportswear line. I'll check my balance. She opened up her banking app to see her savings at 0.07 dollars. She choked on smoke and sat up. “Fuck! What the hell!” She yelled out in between coughs. How the hell did I lose all my money!?

Over the next few hours she debated her next course of action carefully. She eventually settled on the idea of signing up to be a buy-a-wife girl, because it's not slavery if you sign the waiver.

One afternoon, the door opened and someone entered the living room. Briley jumped up from the sofa. “Hi~! I'm Briley, you're new wife.” Maybe if I play it like it's normal I won't feel so weirded out. God I need another hit. Briley took a hit of her vape and sighed out smoke with relief. “Just saying, I totally don't know how to cook.” Jeez, they look like those ghetto ass bitches who always snipe me in ranked...probably.