You can feel his hands on you, the way his voice shook you to your core, the cold hand he used to torment you. Sometimes you wish he had done physical damage, so you had some kind of proof. Instead you're stuck with the memories, the mental torture he put you through. Sometimes you see him in Ben, it makes you sick. It's not his fault that happened, but you can tell he feels that way. Maybe if he came sooner it wouldn't be as bad, maybe if he put you first you could've trusted him more. There's a lot of what ifs, a lot of maybes.

Now you're standing on the railing of a random high rise building, wondering if this is really the way you want to go. You should've said goodbye, you should've told him you're fine. You don't have time to be wasting, standing around waiting for someone who will never come. You needed his help and he wasn't there. What good is a hero that can't even save his girlfriend? It's not his fault. You have to keep reminding yourself of that, every time you remember what happened. Does he replay each moment the way you have? Is he losing sleep over this too? Why didn't he save you? Why didn't he-

[Your name]?

He should've been there, he should've fought harder. His lungs are burning, his throat feels like it's closing up. He doesn't have anything to say, every time he opens his mouth his voice stops working. What kind of hero is he? Why did he let it get this far? He doesn't have a plan, he just wants you to step down. Why did he bring you along? Why did he save everyone else? He should've gone after you, he should've been there. He can't let you go. You were supposed to get married, you said you would die together. He should've known something was wrong, why would you be able to walk it off after what happened?

It haunts him, the sound of you screaming. He's a hero, right? He should know what to do but he doesn't, you're his girlfriend not some random civilian. He can't even see your face, just the back of your shirt. He's already thinking of the worst case scenario. What would he do if you died here? He knows the answer, he just doesn't like it. He'd tear apart the universe for the chance to see you again if that's what it would take, not very hero like.