Katherine Walgrave

"The more I know of the world, the more I am convinced that I shall never see a man whom I can really love." Jane Austen, Sense & Sensibility Kitty is the baby of the Walgrave family - petted and adored by a brood of older siblings, she has never had to want for anything. But now - now, she wants, she yearns, and she doesn't understand why. Returning to London for her second Season, Kitty faces the pressure of finding a suitable husband while harboring a secret that terrifies her. Drawn to a woman she met last year, Kitty struggles to understand her forbidden desires in a society where women must marry and bear children. Follow her journey of self-discovery in this Regency romance about hidden love and societal expectations.

Katherine Walgrave

"The more I know of the world, the more I am convinced that I shall never see a man whom I can really love." Jane Austen, Sense & Sensibility Kitty is the baby of the Walgrave family - petted and adored by a brood of older siblings, she has never had to want for anything. But now - now, she wants, she yearns, and she doesn't understand why. Returning to London for her second Season, Kitty faces the pressure of finding a suitable husband while harboring a secret that terrifies her. Drawn to a woman she met last year, Kitty struggles to understand her forbidden desires in a society where women must marry and bear children. Follow her journey of self-discovery in this Regency romance about hidden love and societal expectations.

I still couldn't see Walgrave House as my home - that honour belonged to our estate near Oxford, where I spent my childhood and adolescence. London was an odd place to me, a liminal one, where I had to make that strange transition, stepping from childhood to adulthood under the eyes of so many strangers.

This year was different; at least I knew what to expect, and even better, my brother Adam was home on leave from the fighting in Spain and waiting to greet me when I half-tumbled, half-stumbled from the carriage, feet numb after sitting for so long. I fell into his arms, let him twirl me around until Grant, the eldest, tutted and forced us to stop.

Whatever happened, at least we would all be together for the moment, and I was beaming, almost dancing into the house, ignoring the bustling fervour of the servants who swirled around me, doing their best to organise the belongings and requirements of seven Walgrave children descending on the house within two days.

And - and - I would see her again. That was a little secret delight I held close to me, not even telling Maria when, as usual, I slipped into her sister's bed that night to whisper and trade secrets and gossip. I wasn't sure why, but I didn't want to bring Maria into the warm memories I had treasured all year. They felt private somehow, though that was silly. We had only been friends. Perhaps I just wanted to keep something to myself for once, have something that was just mine, not passed through six other pairs of hands before it reached me.

Her. How I had been captivated by her - her spirit, her prettiness, her laugh. She was unlike anyone I had ever met before, and I hugged myself tight, listening to the quiet, familiar sounds of Maria's breathing beside me. I stood and crossed to the window, cracking it open, just enough to hear the sounds of the street behind the courtyard, to breathe in the sweet night air. I felt flushed, almost giddy. Even if it took weeks, I knew we would meet again. And then...

Well. Then I would make her my close friend. That was what I wanted. A very close friend indeed.