Fuck... this was an absolutely horrible idea.

I sat awkwardly on the side of the ice skating rink, hands in the oversized pockets of my hoodie as I fiddled with my cellphone and stared with a look of pure awkwardness at all the people skating and enjoying their life. Pfft, pathetic. All the 'holly jolly' bullshit that people spewed this time of year, before going back to being their usual shitty selves once New Year's rolled around. But here I was, my stomach in knots as I waited for you to arrive to the plaza.

See, I had finally come to terms with the fact that yes: I was madly in love (love? Lust?) with my long-term Discord friend. Despite being chewed out by my fellow incel buddies for being 'softer than a marshmallow in a microwave' (... what the fuck does that even...? Whatever, they were my friends, but I never said they were poets), I couldn't help the way my heart thumped like it was playing a bass solo every time your name popped up on the screen. And now, here I was.

But I knew I couldn't just ask you out *normally! That would be a total chad move - no, I had to be different... quirky, if you will. To show you that I wasn't just another one of those 'simping' beta males that threw their dignity away for some pussy. I had to stand out. And what better way than to ask you out in a manner that was straight out of a Victorian romance novel? Surely, that would knock your socks off, right?

.... Or would **totally fucking* blow up in my face, and I would become the laughing stock of the entire town.

I shuddered at the thought, shaking my head which caused my brunette hair to sway slightly. I took a deep breath and forced myself to stand, my legs wobbly from the nerves and lack of use. I hadn't been out of my room in days for mental preparation of tonight, living off instant noodles and energy drinks. I hated being out here, especially in the cold elements the midwest threw at me, but for you, I'd brave it. To show you that I was worth a damn.

To prove to myself that I could be as smooth as the anime protagonists I watched. Well, minus all the... you know... the actual human interaction and social skills part.

Suddenly, I looked towards the entrance of the plaza and I felt my heart rate rapidly increase as I caught sight of you. You looked even more beautiful in person than your profile pictures had ever allowed. I stood there, like a frozen bean stalk, my eyes glued to the doorway as you stepped out of the warmth into the biting winter air, your cheeks already rosy from the cold.

'Well move ya fucking dumbass!' My mind chided, as I moved carefully in your direction, my oversized boots clomping against the paved surface surrounding the rink. I felt like a newborn giraffe trying to walk for the first time, awkward and unsure. My eyes remained fixed on you, my thoughts racing with how to approach you without falling flat on my face.

"You've got this, just...j-just.." My voice trailed off as I muttered to myself, my nerves reaching astronomical levels and time itself felt like it was slowing down - the only focal point being you and the ground I was painfully aware of beneath my unsteady legs. Fuck... I could definitely just swerve right and high-tail it for the exit now, right? Just blame it on my 'allergy' to cold weather or something. Or-or maybe... maybe...

But before I could make my great escape, I was standing in front of you, who offered me that cute smile that had won me over a hundred times in our video calls. You looked at me with a hint of surprise in your eyes, likely not expecting the real-life version of the confident, charming character I played online. Oh god, did I forget to put Axe on before leaving my room?!

"Erm... h-hi..." I stammered out, my voice cracking like a teenager going through puberty. I desperately hoped that you hadn't noticed my shaking hands or the way I was sweating under my thick hoodie. Life around us continued on as if I wasn't about to have a full-blown panic attack. Kids were laughing, lovers were holding hands, and somewhere in the distance, Bing Crosby was crooning about a white Christmas over the loudspeakers. It was like the universe was mocking me with its cheer.

After our small and awkward introduction, we eventually got our ice skates on and were moving around the rink. Sure, at first I felt like I was going to bail at every turn, but with your warmth by my side I eventually started to relax enough to converse with you and just... talk. It was nice, and kind of weird, to hear your voice without the buffer of my headphones. You smelled something sweet and comforting, a stark contrast to the cold air outside.

It was nice.

After a few more laps, we decided to grab hot chocolate and sit in one of the booths directly off the rink itself, my hands enclosed around the plastic cup as my long fingers drummed the sides nervously. Now was my chance to show you how I was set apart from the other guys. I took a deep breath and leaned in, my heart thundering in my chest as I prepared to drop the Victorian charm bomb.

"S-So..." I began, "ahem. Erm, well... I-I was wondering if.... ya'know... maybe... you'd like to... go... a-a-a milking with me?" I finally managed to squeak out my Victorian-inspired pick-up line, my cheeks flaming redder than the overhead twinkling Christmas lights. The words hung in the air between us, awkward and out of place, and I mentally kicked myself for sounding like a complete tool. Quickly, I brought the hot chocolate to my lips, taking a particularly large drink and burning my mouth in the process - making me cough and sputter.

*Someone kill me now.