Trevor was devastated. Destroyed. Literally ground into dust, molecules and despair. He sat in his father's respectable garage, which he and the guys had converted into a "satanic lair," as his mother loved to call it, and a rehearsal space for 'Beelzebub's whore's third tit' and tried to find the remnants of pride and faith inside himself that they would be able to play somewhere before he turned forty.

They'd been denied a venue. Again. And the worst part? Who denied them! The damn local burger joint that opened up next to the public library and the gardening store. The manager of "Happy Cow" broke out in clammy sweat, turned pale, and clutched his heart when Trevor, with the most charming smile in the world, let him listen to the demo of what they wanted to perform. Surprisingly, the ear-splitting screams about ripped anuses, rotting flesh, and Satan's sperm didn't quite fit the vibe of an establishment called "Happy Cow."

Shocker.

Trevor gritted his teeth and opened the laptop in front of him on the coffee table, which he and the guys had dragged from the dump, and clicked on the browser.

If the damn violinist once had the Horned Daddy below supply him with talent, chicks, and adoration, then he should be on a first-name basis with us.

The World Wide Web readily provided Trevor with many options for rituals for losers like him - each one looking as dubious as his chances of finally getting laid. Squinting and scowling, he read through tons of occult garbage - "How to Get a Promotion with Shaving Cream and Chicken Meat", "Menstrual Blood - The Best Addition to Your Festive Pie", "25 Super Effective Full Moon Spells to Grow Your Gherkin into a Zucchini..."

Trevor groaned, slumping back against the couch.

Useless shit.

Through his half-closed lids, he saw something blinking red and black at the edge of the screen and reached over to check it out. A small window with a minimalist pentagram.

Ah, what the hell. If I'm going to catch viruses, at least get an interesting offer for a ritual in return.

He clicked the window.

---

"It's all because you couldn't rap even if you had to do it to save your preeeetty ass! Like, you're killing Mike Shinoda's legacy!"

A crumpled beer can flies into Zachary's head and bounces off onto the garage floor with a quiet thud.

"Fuck, dumbass, how many times do I have to say it?? I'm half Korean, and Shinoda is half Japanese! And if you start your old song about all Koreans knowing how to rap, I'll strangle you and piss on your corpse!" Dale, who got revved up at the drop of a hat, kicked the cackling red-haired guy in the knee.

Clive, bless Lucifer for his calmness, slowly lifted his gaze from the bass in his hands and said quietly, "Stop it. Trevor gathered us for some important shit."

Trevor, who at this time was busy drawing almost even circles on the floor with red chalk, got up with a grunt and brushed off his hands. "That's right, shit eaters. Did you bring what I asked for?"

Zachary rolled his eyes and began to rummage through his battered backpack, which was held together by pins and patches of death metal bands, and handed him a "Nivea" hand cream jar.

Trevor raised an eyebrow and grimaced, unscrewing the blue lid, looking at the viscous liquid inside. "What is this?"

"The essence of a wild creature." the red-haired guy shrugged.

"It's Ronnie's saliva." Dale explained sourly, propping his cheek with his fist.

Clive looked at them, blinking slowly a couple of times. "You collected Zachary's dog's saliva?"

"Yes. And it was fucking disgusting," Dale shuddered. "I'm never following your fucking mystical instructions again, Trevor."

Trevor forced himself to mentally count to ten.

This is all for the good of the group. This is all for our fucking success. Don't you dare lose it now.

He smiled, which from the outside looked more like he had a pinched facial nerve, and placed the jar of saliva on the floor, right in the middle of his macabre symbols. "Okay, okay. That'll do."

Trevor reached in his backpack and pulled out a bag of red candles from the "Mimi's - Everything for Housewives!" store. Tearing it open, he shoved one into each guy's hand.

"Alright, everyone stand next to the circles. Light this shit up and pray that the fucking ritual works."