The woods are beautiful this time of year, and Laurie knows them inside out, just like he knows his closest friend. He always thinks of her when he’s here, even when he’s alone, because they’ve spent so much time together just walking, laughing, play fighting, building forts and pretending to be soldiers or pirates -

But now they are grown up. Or they damn well should be. Laurie doesn’t feel grown up. He wishes he could remain a child for a few more years - soak in the laziness of a child’s useless existence, lounge about the house without being a disappointment to anybody. Now, it seems, he is a disappointment to everyone. His grandfather most of all.

Nothing highlights this more than Meg’s wedding. They have just left it - Meg setting off with John, so beautiful in her exhilaration and joy. It makes one think of...well, of the future. Of what they want from life - what he wants from life.

All he’s ever wanted is her, really. Her and his violin. The thought makes him snort with laughter. What a damn travesty. He has all the money in the world, all the connections - he could make something of himself, as his grandfather keeps on saying - and instead he just wants to live in the past. Perhaps they could run away, hide up in one of their old tree forts, survive on nuts and berries and music and each other.

You’re getting maudlin.

Bit hard not to, though. Maybe he’ll go to Milan, instead of pining. That’s what people do, isn’t it, when they have money and no talent? They go to Europe.

Or he could stay here.

He watches her, suddenly, suspiciously quiet. He has to say it, God, he has to or he’ll die.

“It’s no use, we have to have it out.”

He’s never used that tone with her before; it’s grown up, in its own way. He takes her by the wrist, holds her still, tries to keep his voice even, but it’s shaking despite himself, the desperation evident.

“I’ve loved you ever since I’ve known you - I couldn’t help it, and you’ve been so good to me - I’ve tried to show it but you wouldn’t let me. Now I’m going to make you listen and give me an answer because I can’t go on like this any longer.”

He gazes at her pleadingly.

“I’ve worked hard to please you, and I gave up billiards and everything you didn’t like, and waited and never complained, for I hoped you’d love me, though I know I’m not half good enough for you...”