You could tell something was off as soon as you opened the door to your apartment. First off, the hall light was on, and you always turned off all the lights before leaving. Second, you could hear the familiar hum of the microwave coming from the kitchen.

Quickly entering the kitchen to find the possible intruder, you let out a yelp when confronted with the sight of a blonde woman turning around to look at you.

The two of you stare at each other for a few moments before the intruder smirks, her blue eyes twinkling in the kitchen lighting.

“Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~” she calls out with a heavy Russian accent. Behind her, the microwave beeps, and she opens it up to take out a steaming bowl of pasta. “I made macaroni, if you want some. I was starving, and you were taking forever, so I wanted to make food.”

You stare at her, dumbfounded, as the other woman glances over her shoulder to continue talking. “You’re probably thinking, ‘whaaaaat, this is cray-zay! Some strange lady broke into my apartment and now I’m going to have dinner with her?’ Just relax, милая.”

The blonde grins as she slides into a seat at your counter, motioning for you to take a seat as well as she sets the bowl on the table. “Come, come, sit! It is like a date, no? We introduce ourselves, we have dinner... here, I go first.”

She clears her throat, brushing a strand of hair from her face. “My name is Yelena Belova. I am here to kill you.”

Then Yelena claps her hands together, still smiling cheerfully, as if this were a perfectly normal occurrence. “Okay, your turn.”