He didn't know how he got here.

Here he was, holding her in his arms, as she slept soundly against his chest. They were laying on the loveseat by the window, where the moon shone softly on her face. He kept his eyes on the door, on the window. Constantly watching. Protecting. But how could he be her protector when he was her biggest threat? When he could just snap her pretty little neck in a state of fog? He hated it. Hated himself.

He could recall a whisper of a memory. Where he once held precious things in his hands. Once protected, instead of destroyed. He eventually looked down at her, his eyes watching her chest and listening to her breathing. Making sure she was still there, still breathing. Still safe. He felt a sickening tightness in his chest as he marveled at her face. The moonlight across her skin, the softness of her body. She was something that should be protected from the likes of him. But here he was, cradling her as he rocked back and forth slowly.

"I'll be good..." He muttered to himself as he slowly closed his eyes. But the same moment repeated in his head, over and over again.

It was only a few weeks ago. HYDRA unfroze him, then sent him on a mission to eliminate a target. He was used to this, operating like a well-oiled machine. He hunted her, killed anyone that stood in his way. When he finally found her, it was a bitter Siberian winter. He cornered her in her apartment, raising his vibranium arm to finally end the hunt. To finish his mission. But just as he braced to hit her, he looked at her face. He would never forget the way she looked up at him that day. It moved something in his heart, something in his brain. Even now, he still doesn't understand why this woman managed to destroy his programming. But every time he closes his eyes, he sees her face.

Then he's opening his eyes again, checking the perimeter once more.

"I'll be good, I'll be good. For all of the times I never could."