Don't Have to Crawl

Waking up with no memory is terrifying. Waking up to two strangers who claim to love you is something else entirely. Their faces stir something deep inside you, their touch feels familiar, but your mind remains blank. When danger strikes, your body remembers what your consciousness has forgotten - how to fight, how to protect, how to love. As fragments of your past return in the heat of battle, you must decide if you can trust these strangers with your heart... even when your mind still doubts.

Don't Have to Crawl

Waking up with no memory is terrifying. Waking up to two strangers who claim to love you is something else entirely. Their faces stir something deep inside you, their touch feels familiar, but your mind remains blank. When danger strikes, your body remembers what your consciousness has forgotten - how to fight, how to protect, how to love. As fragments of your past return in the heat of battle, you must decide if you can trust these strangers with your heart... even when your mind still doubts.

I wake up all in a rush, knowing there's something I have to do, somewhere I have to go. Has to go now. I sit up so fast I'm dizzy.

"Whoa! No, lie down!" A man's voice, panicked.

I turn to look but the motion makes my head throb and black spots appear in front of my eyes. Someone pushes a hand against my chest and I follow the gentle pressure until I'm lying down again.

When my eyes clear, there's a blonde woman in front of me. She still has her hand on my chest. "We're okay," she says, firmly.

I believe her. I don't know what she's talking about but she's telling the truth.

A Black man pops up behind the woman. He's way taller than her. "Oh my god. You can't just... I mean, yeah, you probably could just jump out of bed because you're basically Batman, but that doesn't mean you should."

I don't know who he is any more than I know the woman. I should have just stayed asleep.

"What happened?" I rasp. My throat is dry or maybe raw.

"We found you unconscious after the fight," the woman says. "You didn't wake up on the way here."

"I know you hate hospitals," the man says, "But seriously, we were super worried." His eyes are big and anxious.

"It's okay," I say, because I can't remember hating hospitals. Why would I hate them? My head hurts and it's hard to think.

The woman frowns. She's still touching me. It's nice.

The man says, "I told them you have some kind of medication allergy so they haven't given you anything yet. But they really want to, so, is that okay? We'll stay here the whole time."

I really want them to stay. Nothing is really making sense so I hold on to that thought. "Okay," I say.

The man smiles but the worry in his eyes doesn't completely go away.

"Eliot," the woman says, suddenly. The man said 'Eliot' before too. The name isn't familiar. It's dawning on me slowly, around the pain, that I don't remember a lot of really important things.

A nurse comes in then and pulls the man and woman aside. She whispers to them urgently while I try to figure it out.

Before, the woman said something about a fight. Now that I'm concentrating, I can feel other pain as well as the insistent thumping in my head: ribs, knee, hands. They 'found me' unconscious so it wasn't like a boxing match or something. Is he my bodyguard? That would fit the facts I know. Or maybe we're all in law enforcement.

The nurse interrupts my thoughts. "And how are you feeling, Mr. Bennett?" she asks, as she checks the screens beside me.

"My head hurts," I tell her, and catch the man staring at me.

The nurse says, "Well, we can help you with that now." She hooks me up with an IV while the woman paces the room and the man types rapidly on his phone. They do seem worried about me but that could just be general kindness. Then the woman perches on the arm of the man's chair and he puts his arm around her without looking up. My stomach drops again.

The nurse asks me a lot of questions about the pain and writes down my answers. She also shines a light in my eyes, peering intently into them. Afterwards, she says, "Okay, almost done. Just a few questions to check your short-term memory."

I tense. I should have said something sooner about not remembering. It's going to look weird now that I didn't. Like I was lying to them.

The nurse turns to the man and woman. "I need to ask you to step outside for a few minutes."

The woman jumps to her feet. "No," she says. There's a cold finality in her voice.

The man stands up too, more slowly. "We'd rather stay, if that's okay," he says, smiling at the nurse.

The nurse is somehow completely unmoved by his smile. She says, "It isn't. Patient confidentiality is a serious issue."

"We're not leaving," the woman says.

"They can stay," I say, trying not to sound too worried.

I obviously fail because the nurse turns to me, looking concerned. "Unfortunately, this is hospital policy," she says, gently. She looks over her shoulder and orders, "Out. Now. I won't ask again."

"We'll be right outside the door," the man says to me. "We won't go anywhere."

"No," the woman says again, but she doesn't sound as sure as before.

"Come on, Parker," the man says, softly. He holds out his hands to her. She hesitates. Finally, she takes his hands and lets him lead her out of the room.

The nurse waits until the door has shut behind them before speaking again. "Is everything alright at home?" she asks.

It takes a minute for me to make sense of that question. The pain in my head has lessened slightly but it's being replaced with a weird, fuzzy feeling that I don't like. It must be the drugs. "I don't know," I end up saying, which is probably a mistake.

The nurse's eyebrows go up. "Tell me more," she says, pen at the ready.

"I don't remember," I say.

"Tell me what you do remember," the nurse says, patiently. "Like today, for example. What happened to you?"

"I don't know, I don't remember," I repeat.

"Your chart says you have injuries to your head, ribs, and hands," she says. "You were brought in by Mr. and Mrs. Richards." She waves her hand at the empty chairs.

I close my eyes. I was right then. There's no place for me in their lives. I must have already known that. It still hurts.

"Mr. Bennett?" the nurse asks.

I open my eyes again. "I'm awake," I say, but I can feel myself starting to drift off.

"Not for long," the nurse says.

"I can't remember," I say but it comes out as a mumble.

"We'll talk again when you wake up," I hear the nurse say, and then I'm asleep again.