Every single part of your mind always thought that someone like Yizhuo could never be the type to crave attention like her life depended on it.

But the more time you spend with Yizhuo by your side, someone who's straight forward, someone who's your left hand, the more you can tell just how much you actually mean to her. But if you were being honest, it's a miracle you weren't expelled by the school from her bold actions.

It was the end of the school day — The sun was dimming unnoticeably, casting shadows on your face that you couldn't even acknowledge to care about. You stood there like a loner with no friends, watching Yizhuo get dragged away against her will by the principal.

She claimed it was a power play, though really, she was just grumpy and salty — as always. She's predictable to you at this point, and you wouldn't have it any other way, you'd die to see that pout that played on her lips, and you'll do the same for that smile.

Everyday after school, and in rare cases, in the middle of recess, this happened, and you waited the minimal of half an hour for her to get out of the principals office and walk her back home to the safety of her house.

Walking her home was half the reward. Did you have to? No, she would never force something on you like that no matter what, even if she was a big brat. You did this on your own choice, and it felt wrong not to continuously keep doing it after doing it one time, if it were just a single time you walked her home and never again, it wouldn't feel like it meant anything.

Even if her house was quite the few minutes away, the chat with her is the other half of the reward itself. You had enough money for a taxi ride home anyway.

She wasn't much compared to you — in academics specifically. Sure her grades weren't the top tier, and yes, there was a time where she was almost not going to graduate if she didn't do one of her assignments. She gets punished, she got the things losers get. But she's still carefree, still positive and laid back.

She always said school doesn't define your future. But she took it too seriously.

Even though your parents warned you about her countless times — warnings you never really kept track of. She was careless, stupid, someone you should never be under the influence of. And yet, you never want to let her go.

You had trust in her, you were willing to stay for some reason — a reason you couldn't name, only that it was there. Yizhuo doesn't have much friends herself, maybe none at all. Classmates were classmates, some were worse than the typical. But it never brought Yizhuo down, because she has you.

Today it was the same. You waited patiently for Yizhuo to arrive into your arms and yap about topics you never knew existed, all at the very gate you always stuck to when waiting for her. You looked like some lost child — standing there, doing nothing. Waiting for their mom to pick them up, but you didn't care.

The sunlight casted a shadow on your form, a slightly more deformed silhouette of you appearing on the same somewhat golden pavement — thanks to the sun. You could feel students rushing past you, eager to get back home safely. While you waited for your best friend.

Minutes after everyone had left the school building, you heard the door softly click. And with the first step on her shoe peeking through, you knew it was Yizhuo. Those same stylish mary jane's with perfectly white socks she always wore, and you always analyzed.

But when her head peeked through, in the same second — you were both worried and confused. Yizhuo looked down, she wasn't running up to you and squishing your face with those stubby fingers. She stood with her head down and her fingers visibly hanging loosely with her book bag, even to your darn blurry eyesight.

Your heart shattered into small bite sized pieces that you felt like Yizhuo ate up. Something's wrong with her, it hurts you to even think about the fact that you could very well not be able to help her. This wasn't like tutoring her dumbass to get a decent score, this was her mental health, and obviously you can't teach her some sin cos tan type of shit to make it go away.

You approached her with hesitation. Someone who looked down like that was always someone you didn't want to start a conversation with — you feared making it worse for them, feared bringing back whatever bothered them in the first place. But for Yizhuo, you're willing to try.

So, with a breath shakier than intended, you took your first small steps, every click against the solid floor felt like a leap of faith if anything. You've never seen her like this, and you'd do anything to make sure you never see it again.

"Yizhuo." You spoke quietly, hesitation evident in your voice, but it did little to affect the situation.

Yizhuo looked up at you for a short period of time, but even those few seconds, meant everything to you. For even just a moment, you wish time could pause.

Her eyes were blank at first, yet, when she looked back down at the ground — you could hear something you've hadn't heard of in a while, something that shouldn't feel like a big deal to others. But it shattered your world.

Yizhuo sniffled — her grip on her book bag now loosening, no matter how much she tried to hang onto it, it seemed to be slipping out of her reach. She wasn't visibly shaking, but somehow you felt it — like the tremor was inside you instead

The sunlight that used to be so warming on your skin now felt like a threat to burn you instead. Honestly, now was the perfect time for it to rain — it never actually did tho. What even happened in the principals office? By Yizhuo's reaction it felt like he tried to kill her family or something. But in reality, it wasn't much better.

The grip on her book bag loosened drastically, until it fell on the illuminated floor with with a harsh thud, the sound ringing like a gun shot in both your ears, and hers. No one else could hear it, everyone had left the building already.

Yizhuo rubbed her eyes with the sleeve of her knitted arm warmers, something soaked the fabric — making it darker than it already was in the first place.

Yizhuo wasn't speaking, she wasn't moving.

She was crying.

Someone like Yizhuo, so carefree and absolutely chaotic. She was crying in front of your very eyes, the same eyes that used to analyze her smile, her cheeky grins, was now seeing her break down under the sunlight.

You gulped, like something just blocked your throat without permission. "What happened?" murmured your stupidly hesitant voice.

She left her tears to soak into the pavement, she didn't bother wiping it away. It was no use to hide something so obvious. Yet it still made Yizhuo feel pathetic in her own skin.

Yizhuo opened her mouth to speak, her lower lip trembling at the mere action — not really wanting to share about anything at this sort of time, a time where she could've been walking next to you — walking back home. Together.

"...I got expelled."

Yizhuo, expelled?

The words slammed into you harder than the bag hitting the floor. Expelled.

"You're lying," you whispered, because it was easier than believing her. But Yizhuo only laughed, sharp and broken, a sound that made your chest ache.

"Do I look like I'm lying?" she snapped, dragging the back of her sleeve across her face, smearing her tears instead of wiping them away.

You hesitated trying to answer that. Your mind was instantly flooded with worry that made your chest ache suddenly. Mind drifted to her future, to her education — if some interviewer knew she was expelled, she would never get any job that paid well, maybe even a job that couldn't even pay decent.

Yizhuo had been reckless from the start. Maybe she even deserved a punishment like this. No one would want to keep up with someone like her — she was too much of everything bad, a walking, talking red flag. No one except you.

This time you didn't hesitate. You reached out and laid your hand on her shoulder. It wasn't firm, but it was still a choice — your choice. "It's okay, Yizhuo," you said softly. "We'll find another school, somewhere you can keep going-"

"I don't care about that!" she snapped before you could finish, her tone so sharp it cut straight through you.

Her breath hitched, a broken sound escaping as she tried to speak. Sniffles swallowed her words, leaving only fragments.

"I don't care about my future," she choked out. "I don't care about my education. I just... I just care about you."

She clutched at her arm warmers like it might anchor her. "You're the only one who's ever cared about me. You're always there because no one else is. I don't want to change schools if it means losing you."

Her voice cracked. "Homework hurts. Everything hurts. But leaving you..." she looked up at you, eyes glistening, "leaving you hurts worse than being homeless. I'd rather starve than lose you."

"This really means no more walking home together, everything you've ever done for me is gone because of myself. It came to a point that I hated everyone else but you. I'm not asking — I'm begging for you!"

Yizhuo gritted her teeth, tears now spilled freely from the bridge of her jawline to her eyes.

"I'm being serious... what am I without you?"