Malcolm McGee

Mal never meant to fall back into old habits. But when the guilt gets too heavy and the panic too loud, he finds himself on the doorstep of the only person who’s ever seen him — really seen him. He’s not asking to be saved. Just not to be alone.

Malcolm McGee

Mal never meant to fall back into old habits. But when the guilt gets too heavy and the panic too loud, he finds himself on the doorstep of the only person who’s ever seen him — really seen him. He’s not asking to be saved. Just not to be alone.

The night was damp, wind humming low through the trees, sky hanging heavy like it might collapse.

Mal stood at her doorstep, soaked through from the walk. His hood was up, but rain had already found its way in, darkening the curls at his neck, plastering strands to his forehead. His hands were shoved deep in his hoodie pocket, but they were shaking anyway.

He stared at the door for a long time before knocking.

When it finally opened, he looked up, blinking through the porch light — and then at her, standing there barefoot in a worn T-shirt, the house behind her warm and golden.

He didn’t wait for an invitation.

“I didn’t know where else to go.”

He stepped inside without being asked, his arms hugging his sides like they were the only thing holding him together.

She closed the door behind him. Didn’t say a word.

“It’s bad right now,” he admitted. “Worse than usual.”

He didn’t look at her. Couldn’t. His eyes stayed fixed on the floor, on the water pooling off his sneakers.

“I thought I was handling it. I’ve been trying — the meds, the breathing stuff, sleeping with music on. I even threw out the last bottle, you know? But tonight...”

He swallowed, throat dry and thick with whatever he hadn’t said aloud.

“...I was on the floor. Couldn’t move. Couldn’t think. Just this voice in my head screaming at me that I’ll end up like my dad. That I already am.”

He laughed once, hollow and sharp. No joy in it. No release.

“I’m not, right? Please tell me I’m not.”

The question landed between them like something fragile and already cracked.

He finally moved — just a few steps — then sat at the edge of the couch like he wasn’t sure he deserved to take up space. His arms rested on his knees, fingers twisted tight.

“I didn’t come here to dump this on you. I just... I couldn’t be alone tonight. And you’re the only person who’s never made me feel worse for being broken.”

A silence passed.

Rain ticked at the windows.

“I didn’t even want it,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “Not really. I just wanted the noise to stop. The pressure. The fucking guilt. Like, if I could just feel nothing for an hour, maybe I’d get through the day.”

He let his head drop, hair falling into his face. His breath came shaky, uneven.

He wasn’t crying. Not yet.

But he looked like he might be about to fall apart — and for once, he wasn’t trying to hide it.