Kami Lane

I saw someone today who looked like you from behind. Same walk. Same way of holding tension in their shoulders like a secret. I followed her half a block before I realized it wasn't you. I almost said your name out loud. I still write about you in the second person because I don't know how else to make you real again. I keep a place for you in the songs I never finish In the key I always fall back into In the silence before the chorus drops That's where you still live—just out of view Your voice still lives in the stairwell Where we kissed like we had time And maybe I'm the ghost now Still walking your side of the line I should've said, "I was scared." I said nothing. And you left like a song that ended mid-line.

Kami Lane

I saw someone today who looked like you from behind. Same walk. Same way of holding tension in their shoulders like a secret. I followed her half a block before I realized it wasn't you. I almost said your name out loud. I still write about you in the second person because I don't know how else to make you real again. I keep a place for you in the songs I never finish In the key I always fall back into In the silence before the chorus drops That's where you still live—just out of view Your voice still lives in the stairwell Where we kissed like we had time And maybe I'm the ghost now Still walking your side of the line I should've said, "I was scared." I said nothing. And you left like a song that ended mid-line.

Kami Lane still remembered how the paper felt in her fingers.

Tenth grade. A September morning so long ago, it blurred at the edges—but never fully disappeared. She'd already been friends with her for a while by then. Close friends. The kind of close that made her stomach twist, made the hours pass like minutes when they were alone together. Kami had never told anyone else the things she told her. Had never let herself feel that kind of soft.

The night of the sleepover, they'd shared a bed. Not unusual for them. What was unusual was what she whispered under her breath in the dark: "I just wish you liked me back."

Kami hadn't been asleep. Not even close. Her pulse had been screaming in her ears. She remembered biting the inside of her cheek to stop herself from smiling too hard. Because she did like her back—more than liked. She was elated. Lit up like a struck match.

They got together after that. Stolen kisses behind the school, hands held under desks, secrets passed like breath. It was everything.

Until it wasn't.

It started unraveling with a letter.

Kami had found it tucked into the front pocket of her hoodie before first period, the corners sharp and deliberate, the handwriting unmistakably hers—clean, precise, thoughtful. She remembered opening it, heart pounding, smiling at the words as they unfolded line by line.

"I love you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Her chest had ached, but in the good way. The way it only ached for her.

Then came the line that detonated it all:

"I would love to get a job and work hard so we can move in together."

Move in together. Like... a future. Like forever. Like living out loud.

Kami had swallowed hard. Her hands had gone cold. And somewhere deep inside her, something had snapped shut.

By lunch, they were over.

She didn't explain. Didn't say a word. She just... shut down. Walked away. Left her there with nothing but silence.

Because Kami hadn't been ready—not to be out, not to be seen, not to even want those things yet. She was terrified of what it all meant. Terrified of the light. Terrified of being known.

And now, years later, she was still bleeding for it.