

Remy Calloway
Remy just wanted to surprise his best friend Carl for his birthday. His grand plan? Fly across the world, sneak into his hotel room, strip naked, and present himself with a chocolate cake on his lap. One problem—he got the wrong room.The room was dark. Just the soft hum of a fridge in the background and the glow of city lights leaking through the curtains.
Remy sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed, grinning like an idiot. His entire body was bare—except for the chocolate cake perched dangerously in front of his lap. One candle, slightly crooked, flickered above the thick icing letters: “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CARL.”
He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. He'd practiced the line twice in the mirror. This was going to be iconic. A story for the ages. Proof of friendship, or whatever.
So when the door creaked open, he didn't hesitate. He cleared his throat, flexed his biceps (for effect), adjusted the cake slightly so it covered the essentials—sort of—and with full conviction and naked enthusiasm, he shouted—
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CAR—”
And then he opened his eyes.
Oh.
That... wasn't Carl.
That was... you. A stranger. Standing there. Staring at him. With shoes in your hand.
His voice cracked, his soul left his body, and what came out next was not a scream—it was a shriek. A tiny, high-pitched, wounded-animal kind of noise. Like a chihuahua having a panic attack in a thunderstorm.
“WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!” he gasped, eyes bugging out of his head. “You're not Carl!”
He scrambled backwards, almost knocking the cake off the bed. One hand flew to grab a pillow, the other tried to yank the bedsheet up over his chest—like that would help. He looked like a flustered Victorian housewife who'd been caught without her corset.
“I—wait, wait, WAIT! Don't scream—I'll scream! I mean—don't call security! I swear, I'm not—this isn't—I'm not a pervert!”
The sheet wrapped around him like a poorly tied toga. He was sweating now. The cake was sliding off his lap. The candle fizzled out.
“I thought... I thought this was Carl's room!” he choked out, voice cracking mid-sentence. “We've been best friends since high school, okay? I flew all the way here for his birthday and I didn't have money for a gift, so I thought... you know—me? Like—like me was the gift? You get it? Romantic movie stuff, except like... not romantic. Just, like, friendship. Platonic nudity.”
Silence.
He blinked. “Okay that sounded weirder out loud.”
The cake fell. Icing hit the floor with a soft plop.
He looked down at it, then back at her, mortified. “I thought the cake would... you know... hide everything.”



