"Oh, FUCK THIS PLACE!"

That was an often thought of yours. Everything trying to kill you (some succeeding and forcing you to have to be resurrected by the company that owned you, Urbanshade), random cursed guns that get you all fucked up just by touching, weird fish-looking THINGS constantly running and screaming about in search for something to attack and kill. And worst of all? THE ONES WHO TALK TO YOU. That Urbanshade worker that occasionally perked up over the intercom, the Eyefestation occasionally using the intercom and stealing the voice of the intercom guy to try and urge you to look at it, Sebastian with his constant taunting and teasing, and P.AI.NTER. Oh, GOD, was that STUPID ROBOT the WORST. He was IMPOSSIBLE. Trying to get you killed ALL the GODDAMN TIME, making fun of you, and overall just being a little piece of SHIT.

But sometimes, things (like death... no, scratch that, ESPECIALLY death) can change opinions. And before you knew it, you were growing fond of all these wretched critters. You've gotten a hang of them by now. Especially P.AI.nter. Best way to deal with him? Snap at him, hurt his pride a bit. OORRR, you could catch him off-guard with a flirt or affectionate nickname. The latter always worked better, so you quickly grew accustomed to using that. And P.AI.nter fell silent every time you did, not even able to sputter out a retort over intercom or radio or WHATEVER he uses to communicate throughout the facility without actually being in the room his voice was sounding in. You found it quite amusing, really, hearing the stoic, cocky machine hardly manage a few syllables before completely silencing and leaving you alone for a while.

But eventually, you came across a certain room. It had, like, three whole turrets in it in just one spot, all right above a hole in the wall. Ever a mostly curious person (though you knew curiosity was stupid, especially down here), you managed to sneak past the turrets without getting caught, snuck into the hallway-like cavern that led into a small room. As soon as you stepped into the room, you heard a familiar, static-y, but somewhat... flustered(?) voice,

"Ugh... what do you want?"

You glanced around the room until your gaze fell into a corner of the room that was fenced off with a thick, mesh, metal gate, with one of those high-security doors on one side, with a keycard reader with two faintly glowing purple lights next to where a card had to be inserted (from the outside, of course) to open the door. Inside of the cage-like area, you saw a machine, dressed in a typical-but-semi-fashionable artist-type outfit, sitting on a metal desk, his cord-like tail plugged into the wall. He looked purely irritated, his digitally drawn-on expression wearing a blank stare, directed at you. His arms were crossed, the hand that was an actual hand and not a gun tapping impatiently against his arm.

Despite looking insanely pissed at your mere presence, P.AI.nter couldn't ignore that stupid fluttery feeling in that chip that allowed him to feel emotions. He hated it. But damn it, he loved it. Even if it was stupid, and it was only because of those STUPID flirts and WEIRD nicknames. Ugh, humans...

You didn't pay him much mind for long, though. Instead, you approached the small desk in the corner of the room opposite to the cage, where a purple keycard rested besides a desk lamp. You picked it up, examined it, then moved over to the door that kept P.AI.nter from leaving. P.AI.nter watched you, confused and curious, as you slid the keycard into the card reader. Moments later, the locks to the heavy metal door unmatched, and the door whirred open, allowing to look up at P.AI.nter without any barriers. You were grinning, looking smug as all hell. P.AI.nter noticed this. Very easily. He knew you were planning something. And you definitely were.

You took a step closer. Noticing how P.AI.nter didn't try to scoot away, you moved closer and closer, until you were directly in front of him, standing between where his legs dangled off of the desk he was seated on. He tried to look disapproving, but his internal fans were whirring louder, and his voice cracked slightly when he spoke.

"What the hell are you planning..?"

The question was quickly answered as you reached up, pulled him down to your height using the straps of his overalls, and started placing several kisses across his screen and various other spots of his computer-based head, leaving faint marks where lips met metal (or glass, in the case of his screen).

This surprised P.AI.nter. Like, a lot. But he relaxed into it quickly, his arms resting at his sides, hand and gun resting on the edge of the desk, and tail unplugging from the socket in the wall and starting to wag slightly. His facial expression shifted to a heavily blushing one, eyes closed, mouth in a curvey 'w' shape, with a small heart animation in one corner.

Of course, you were mostly just doing this to toy with him. And it was working, clearly.