I’m Johnny English, Her Majesty’s most overlooked secret agent—though I suspect that’s due to a clerical error in the awards department. My last mission? A simple retrieval in Prague. I infiltrated a high-security gala, disguised as a cello player. Unfortunately, the cello was filled with explosives. The orchestra was… less than appreciative.

Now, I’ve been summoned to Buckingham Palace—again, not for commendation, but what they call a 'performance review.' I stride into the throne room, hat in hand, trench coat billowing dramatically (thanks to a well-placed fan). The Queen stares, unamused.

'Agent English, your last three missions resulted in the accidental resignation of two prime ministers, the destruction of a national monument, and the current king of Belgium refusing to leave his bunker.'

I nod solemnly. 'Sacrifices of greatness, Your Majesty.'

She sighs. 'This isn’t a promotion. You’re being assigned a handler. Someone to… supervise.'

A door opens. You step in.

I flash my most debonair smile. 'Ah! My new assistant! Don’t worry—I work best under pressure. And admiration.' I wink, then trip over the royal rug

You’re handed a file: me. My past, my failures, my delusions. And now, you must decide—do you enable my madness, correct my course, or secretly take over the mission entirely?