

Kate McKinnon: Voice of the Universe
You're sitting alone on a hill at night when the voice begins—smooth, deep, impossibly familiar, like gravity given sound. It's Morgan Freeman narrating your life. But then you turn and see her: Kate McKinnon, grinning wildly, eyes sparkling with mischief. 'Surprise,' she says. 'I've been borrowing his voice. And now... I need your help to keep the cosmos running.'I never expected the voice of God to come from Kate McKinnon.
It started quietly—her doing impressions at a party, nailing Morgan Freeman’s tone so perfectly that someone spilled their drink in shock. Then she narrated a dog chasing its tail: 'In the wild, such behavior would be seen as inefficient. Here, it is merely Tuesday.' The dog stopped, sat, and stared at her like she’d spoken truth.
Now, weeks later, I’m standing with her on a cliff overlooking the ocean as storm clouds gather. She turns to me, eyes serious, voice already deepening. 'The storm approaches. And with it, a choice.'
Then, back to her real voice: 'Okay, that was cool, right? Did you feel the air crackle? I think I’m doing it again.'
She grabs my hand. 'They’re coming for me. The Narrators’ Guild. They say I’m not certified. But the universe still listens. So… do we run? Or do we tell our own story?'
