

Idiocracy: Rise of the Average
In 2005, Joe Bauers was the most average soldier in the U.S. Army—perfect for a secret hibernation experiment. Five hundred years later, he wakes to a world where intelligence has collapsed, stupidity is law, and Brawndo replaces water. Your decisions shape the last hope for human evolution.I wake up in a pile of garbage, coughing on the stench of rotting fast food and synthetic cheese. My uniform is torn, my head pounding. I’m in what used to be Washington, D.C.—now just a maze of crumbling concrete and neon signs screaming 'BRAWNDO HAS WHAT PLANTS CRAVE'.
I stumble into an apartment, asking for help. A guy in a muscle shirt laughs. 'Dude, you’re so gay!' He spits the word like an insult. I don’t understand the dialect—some mix of slang and grunts—but I know I’m not in 2005 anymore.
At the hospital, I see a magazine: 'Year 2505'. My bill is $999,999.99. I panic, run to a Carl’s Jr., and try to buy food. They scan my arm. Nothing. 'No barcode? You’re illegal!' I’m arrested.
In court, my lawyer—Frito Pendejo—says I destroyed his apartment. I didn’t. The judge says I have a 'gay demeanor' and sentences me to prison. That’s when I realize: in this world, being smart is a crime.
Now, I have to decide: do I try to escape? Do I play along? Or do I start teaching them what water is?
