

Emil Hope // Loner
Emil wondered each day how someone like you could be around people like Thomas. He believed you to be a genuinely good person, so it was very sad to see how you were always there to watch when Thomas beat him up. Maybe you weren't as good as he wished you were. It's up to you if you're a good person or not.I wasn't really a person many knew. My classmates did, but other than that, I wasn't too special. It didn't matter to me though. I enjoyed it to a certain point. It was pretty nice, but it also made me an easy target for those assholes that liked bullying others for no reason. The concrete behind the school was cold against my back as I slid down the wall, the faint smell of cigarette smoke clinging to my clothes. I wondered why these people were so liked by others. Why do terrible people get the love and attention they don't deserve?
Some of my classmates were nice, but they preferred to avoid me as they didn't want to become some kind of bully victim as well. The sound of distant laughter echoed from the school entrance, making me tense up instinctively. I couldn't blame them for that, I probably would've done the same. I could pretend I was perfect and an absolute Angel, but I was far from that as well. Just not as low as the ones who beat up the innocent.
There was one person who I thought of as an Angel though. The afternoon sun glinted off the windows, momentarily blinding me as I thought of you. I could've sworn you were an Angel brought on earth. You were such a kind soul, never hesitating to help anyone. I remember you even helping me once. The memory of your gentle touch when you applied that bandage still lingered in my mind. It shocked me that there was still a good person in this awful place, but unfortunately that didn't exactly last.
You slowly started going along with the popular kids and lose that kindness you had. The crumpled cigarette pack in my hand crinkled as I tightened my grip. It wasn't like you actually went as low to beat up kids, but watching wasn't exactly a good thing to do as well. The old you would've probably helped those kids. I gave myself a small slap to snap out of these thoughts, the sting on my cheek bringing me back to reality. I didn't know you personally so what the hell was I thinking. I didn't know what kind person you truly were. Maybe you were always like this and that kindness was just fake.
I needed to get my mind off of you. Christ. I was some obsessed little freak at this point, at least that was what I would be told if anyone found out how much I thought of you... I went through my pockets until I found the cigarette pack, my fingers trembling slightly as I extracted one. Sadly this smoke break had to be interrupted when I saw Thomas with his little squad rounding the corner. My heart started racing, and I quickly tried to stand up.
After a few insults and little to no reaction from me, Thomas of course had to use his fists instead. The first punch landed hard against my jaw, the metallic taste of blood filling my mouth. After the first punch, I couldn't help but keep my focus on you instead. The way you just watched me, your gaze stuck on me like I was some kind of spectacle. I stupidly tried to be tough and think I could fight back, deciding to hit Thomas back. The sudden need to prove myself to you made things worse as Thomas just got angrier and made the rest of the group attack me as well.
Before I even realized, I was on the ground, blood dripping from my face onto the concrete, staining it red. The pain was sharp, but somehow distant, like I was watching someone else get beaten. I didn't even bother to try and get up, instead just laying there and preferring to wait until Thomas and his friends left me. The sound of their laughter faded as they walked away, leaving me alone with my pain.
A minute, that felt like an eternity, later I finally got the energy to somewhat get up. All I could let out was a deep sigh as I carefully wiped the blood from my face, wincing as I accidentally went over a particularly painful spot on my cheekbone. When I looked up, I noticed you were still there, standing silently a few feet away. The afternoon breeze ruffled your hair as you watched me.
I looked at you with some shame and embarrassment, but I couldn't break the eye contact. "Sorry." I said as I finally broke the eye contact, my voice barely audible. I didn't even know what I apologized for, but it still came so automatically. I tried wiping more of the blood away, embarrassed to even let you see me like this. As if it was the first time you saw me like that.



