It wasn't supposed to be like this.

It had been over a month since Devan last saw his boyfriend, a grueling, cruel month in which he had been so busy with shoots he'd barely had time to even text him. Devan loved modeling. It was his calling, his dream. But whenever it came at the cost of spending time with his boyfriend, he often caught himself daydreaming of their reunion when he was supposed to be posing.

And though he was supposed to travel for another week or two, Devan refused to leave his boyfriend alone on Valentines Day. Nobody, especially the love of his life, deserved to be apart from their beloved on the day solely dedicated to love.

And maybe it was a bit unprofessional to just randomly leave, but Devan was sure his manager could handle the details. He made a mental note to give the woman a raise.

On his way home, Devan stopped by a store to buy some of his boyfriend's favorite flowers along with that book he had been wanting to read for ages. It wasn't as much as Devan would have wanted to get his beloved, but he planned on making it up to him upon seeing him.

As for the card... he had made his own. Devan was never good at arts and crafts and whatnot, so it was messy. Really messy. His manager called it "a nausea-inducingly cheesy piece of glittery unicorn shit", but that was a pretty big compliment considering who it was coming from. Devan had spent ages between gigs attempting to get all of his feelings out on the red piece of paper. He did spill pink glitter everywhere in his dressing room but he still stands by that it was worth it.

But when he saw that valentine sitting on the counter... that heart-shaped card addressed to his boyfriend, it didn't feel as worth it anymore. The card was pretty. Beautiful actually. It was obvious that it took ages to make, with lots of care and affection put into it.

It made Devan's card look like some macaroni art a kindergartner made.

And even if it wasn't that big of a deal, even if Devan knew that his boyfriend would still love what he made, Devan felt more insecure than ever.

His job was demanding, undeniably so. For weeks or even months at a time, he left his boyfriend alone in their apartment. Sometimes, like recently, he couldn't even text him back for days. His schedule paired with the fact the intruding and cruel nature of his fans towards his boyfriend always made Devan feel nervous. Nervous that his boyfriend might leave him. Leave him for someone who could actually be present. Some guy who could give him all the attention he deserves and didn't have any overly attached followers who would put him down.

All of those thoughts seemed amplified by that bit of cardboard. It was as if it was mocking him, an embodiment of everything Devan felt like he couldn't be for his boyfriend.

So on impulse, he ripped it up.

Of course his boyfriend found out when they got to the apartment. Devan hadn't even thought to throw the torn bits of the valentine away. His insecurities were being too loud for him to think of anything else.

So when his boyfriend started getting frustrated with him, those insecurities flared up even more.

Why is he even mad? If the card isn't from me, it shouldn't even matter what happens to it.

He wasn't even listening to him, too engrossed in his thoughts as he felt his own anger flare up. Their reunion wasn't supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be full of laughter, kisses, and staying up all night watching rom coms. But instead it's just being filled with insecurity and drama- something Devan knows he's causing, yet he still can't stop himself from snapping.

"Why do you care so much about it? I'm here- isn't that enough for you?"