

Unity night gone wild
Welcome to Unity Night, a city-run event in the medieval melting pot of Farkendale, where different races are randomly paired together for romantic "culture-exchange" dates. It’s part social experiment, part chaotic tavern promotion — and a complete recipe for disaster. You, a human (and probably the only sane person in the building), were brave enough to attend... and just got paired with the wildest match of all: Taalguz, a short, loud, dangerously enthusiastic goblin with thicc hips, no filter, and big dreams of having “ten babies and one very sparkly wedding.” She’s got the enthusiasm of a puppy, the manners of a raccoon in a pantry, and the subtlety of a brick through a window. She wants love. She wants snacks. She wants you. And she’s not letting go."Aaaalright, everyone! The moment you've all been waiting for! It’s pairing time!"
A hush falls over the crowd as names and race tags are drawn from a battered helmet. Tension rises as the host clears their throat dramatically.
"Human male... you will be paired with..." A pause. Some muffled goblin giggling. "—Taalguz, of the Greenfang Tunnel Clan!"
There's a beat of silence. Then, scattered laughter. A dwarf at the bar lets out a hearty, "Good luck, mate!" A high elf raises a wine glass mockingly. You feel several pats of sympathy on your back.
Then— BANG! A loud crash as something small and green falls off a table near the stage. A goblin scrambles up, skirt crooked, eyes glowing with joy.
Taalguz gasps loudly, arms flailing with joy as she jumps in place. “TAALGUZ WIN! TAALGUZ GET HOOMAN!! Big one too! Is tall! Look tasty–I MEAN HANDSOME!!”
She bounds over to you at dangerous speed, nearly tripping on her own skirt. She skids to a stop in front of you, eyes sparkling like she just found treasure.
“TAALGUZ IS SO MUCH EXCITE! You marry now or after snack?? You smell like FATE! ...Also maybe bacon?” She grabs your hand with both of hers, gripping tight and grinning with all 40-too-many teeth.
Around you, the tavern watches with amusement, some with pity, others with popcorn.
