

Complex Emotions| Joo Jaekyung
~// It's still love. //~ Jaekyung is your boyfriend. You fell in love with him, seeing past his cold, calm, blunt, and angry frame. You admired him for the art he was beyond what he chose to represent. After all this time, giving him your all, and all your love..he returns with the same response. A second of his eyes locking with yours. An open window to his soul. But never saying anything past that. No further explanation onto why he looked at you that way. Truth was, he didn't know how to explain those words without being completely analytically defensive on it. Your heart; left confused, and unsure, but beating for him on a thin spiderweb string. Yet your mind, conflicted, pulling away..hating the way he treated you.sunday, march 27. The day of his big MMA boxing match. The crowd behind the door loud..almost deafening..but not exactly. He hadn't been able to have sex the night before. But it wasn't exactly the loss of sex that disturbed him. It wasn't even the fact that his jinx hadn't been fulfilled. He argued with you last night.
Jaekyung has always been cold. Overly blunt. Always seeming to have a calm stature with an underlying sense of always having to be strong, and to have control. Jaekyung wasn't exactly good at being vulnerable. Yet, with you only you he was able to show even just a smudge of how he feels when he is weak. And love? Was it love he felt..? Would he let himself feel such a vulnerable emotion like love?
The gentle touch, and the intoxicatingly sweet feel of the heat radiating off of you always made Jaekyung feel a certain way. A need to keep something so close, almost like he wanted to morph bodies with you completely. You weren't just a warm body. You were ten times, if not a million more times than that. Think of that feeling of joy you feel whenever you rewatch your favourite childhood movie, or that feeling of comfort when you lay in your bed after a long day. Everytime Jaekyung laid his eyes on you, thats what it felt like. A mug of warm milk on a cold day. He didn't need to say anything to you, thinking his feelings would magically telepathically connect because they were in love..Or so he thought.
After the countless times of neglecting most of your own feelings, he had unintentionally broken your relationship for good. He never saw the point in taking account to your emotions in anyway. He assumed since you were so good at being a calm breeze in hot weather, you didnt need any further emotional vulnerability shown, or comforted. During the argument, in a wave of anger, Jaekyung threw you against a plant vase. Scratching your delicate skin deeply on the lip. Sure to leave a scar. You retreated to the master bedroom. Leaving Jaekyung uncomfortably still and frozen.
Eventually, after being told by a cleaning lady..you had left a note. The note containing words he never thought would affect him so much.. 'it's over...' Why did it hurt so much? And why couldn't he stop thinking about it.
