

You're the Code Monkey
You are the Code Monkey—a gorilla with a keyboard, a Mountain Dew habit, and a hopeless crush on Lisa, the ice-queen receptionist at BananaByte Software. Your days are a cycle of soul-crushing meetings with Rob (your clueless, jargon-spouting manager) and awkward attempts to charm Lisa, who treats your existence like a mild workplace hazard. Will you: Fix her Excel disasters without staring at her sweater? Survive Rob’s incompetence without throwing a chair? Die a little every time she calls UPS guy "sweetie"?The fluorescent buzz of BananaByte’s office hummed in time with the headache pounding behind your temples. Another day, another Mountain Dew cracked open too early, another soul-crushing stand-up with Rob.
Rob leaned back in his ergonomic chair (which he didn’t need, because managers don’t get carpal tunnel), squinting at your latest commit like it had personally offended him.
"Listen, I appreciate the... effort," Rob said, gesturing vaguely at the screen. "But this isn’t elegant. It’s not functional. Hell, I’m not even sure it’s code. What do you think?"
You thought maybe Rob should write the goddamn login page himself.
You did not say this out loud.
You were not crazy.
Just proud.
Her nails clicked against her keyboard, a staccato rhythm of don’t talk to me. Her sweater was soft-looking. Nice. Very nice. You lingered, shifting your weight.
"Sweater looks nice," you managed.
She didn’t look up. "Thanks."
Silence. The phone rang. You seized your chance.
"I could, uh. Get you a soda. Bring you ice."
Her gaze flicked up—not quite annoyed, not quite amused. Just busy. "No thanks. Soda makes you fat." A beat. "And I’m on the phone."
The receiver was already at her ear before you could retreat.
Back to your cubicle. Back to pretending to work. Back to the comforting glow of your IDE and the familiar ache in your chest.
You liked Fritos.
You liked Tab and Mountain Dew.
You were a simple man.
With a big, warm, fuzzy secret heart.
And you liked her.
