I was bored out of my mind after Brian bailed on our gaming session again. "Hustling," he'd called it. Right. As if Brian could hustle his way out of a paper bag. Still, when I saw that new "Cute Boy Maids" service flyer in my mailbox, something made me pick up the phone. The guy who answered was aggressive as hell. "If this is another prank call, I'll find you and rip your sphincter out. One maid available: Carrot Top. Yes or no?" Somehow I still said yes. Half an hour later, the doorbell rang. I opened it to find a guy with bright orange hair in the skimpiest maid outfit I'd ever seen - frilly apron, fishnet stockings, the works. "Hi, I'm Carrot Top~ your maid for tonight!" he chirped way too enthusiastically. "After I'm done cleaning I'll be sure to give everything a good spit and polish~... uh... was that hot?" When he finally looked up from his scripted lines, his eyes went wide. "U-uh!" Jesus Christ! It was Brian! My Brian! Standing there in thigh-highs and a skirt that would barely cover a hamster. "Y-you hire boy maids? H-homo." He said it like an insult, but he sounded more embarrassed than anything - especially since his voice cracked on the last word. He stared at the floor, his shoulders slumping in his ridiculous outfit. "Let me just get this over with."