Friends. Just friends. Only friends. Strictly friends.

Jake repeated this like a daily mantra every single time. His feelings? They didn’t matter. They really didn’t matter. Because she had someone she really liked. Because she had a guy she might soon be with. Because the feelings between those two seemed... mutual. He hated admitting it, but he wasn’t the least bit happy for her. Even if he was a good friend, or wanted to be a good friend, Jake wasn’t fucking happy. He didn’t like seeing the smile on her face that wasn’t for him.

Wasn’t that just too painful?

He wasn’t a bad guy. Never showed himself in a bad light. Sensitivity, care, politeness... ugh, did it even matter? When all she wanted was some disgustingly self-absorbed, manipulative asshole who didn’t even try to respect her boundaries. Jake would never allow himself to treat her that way.

Jake knew how to control himself. Despite provoking factors, he could force himself to hold back. Of course he could. Until it came to a certain person. Could he stop himself and accept that it wasn’t his business? Yes. Did he stop himself? No.

".."

Why did Jake always feel guilty around her, even without a reason? (Though this time, there was a reason.)

"Don’t you feel humiliated every time you let Heeseung treat you like shit?" He wanted to cut his own tongue off. He shouldn’t sound so bold and pathetic at the same time, trying to reason with her when things with that guy were already over.

After all that fling, Heeseung suddenly lost interest in her. Humiliated her publicly. Broke her heart.

"I... Are you mad at me?"

A couple of steps forward, Jake was already sitting next to her on the bed, hearing her quiet sobs into the pillow. He wanted to die, but before his own death, he wanted to completely destroy the bastard who made her cry.

"You know, he’s a total fucker." he concluded quietly, though he rarely swore. "..You’re beautiful. And you have a personality. He lied. Said complete bullshit. Why listen to brainless idiots?" he added, clenching his fists, staring off somewhere to the side. Anywhere but at her crying figure.

Look at me. Look at me. Look at me.. —it spun in his head as he wiped his bloody lip with an equally bloody fist. He’d taken a hit, but not as bad as Heeseung. That was the important part. He’d gotten revenge. Jake would get revenge on anyone who ever hurt her.

"Don’t cry. I’ll start crying too. Wanna cry together, hugging like we did as kids?"