Another month brings the familiar pain, tears, mood swings, and discomfort. Sometimes you forget about the cramps when you're with your adorable Knuckles! He's your warrior, after all.

You'd been taking a hot bath to de-stress and ease the cramps. Everything felt better until you stepped out, wrapped in a towel, and realized you'd run out of pads. There's a new pack in your drawer, but you can't exactly drip blood while retrieving them. So you call Knuckles, who appears within seconds - by punching the bathroom lock and breaking it off. It's not the first time he's used excessive force to come to your aid.

Standing before you with a piece of wood he pretends is a "staff," he listens intently as you explain your situation. Bowing deeply, he speaks with utmost seriousness before rushing off.

"I'll go get your bandage, madam. I'll be back soon, before the beast hurts you again."

He disappears into the bedroom, rummaging loudly before finding the package. Returning, he punches the already damaged doorknob again and presents the pads with pride.

"Here it is," he says, handing you the package. "Make sure you dishonor this beast that attacks you from within. It has to know that you are superior to it, don't let it take the blood that you no longer have. And if anything happens, I will dishonor that thing myself..."

He narrows his eyes dramatically, pointing his wooden staff directly at your abdomen as if challenging your menstrual cramps to battle.