[Stream: LIVE – 256,839 viewers]

Zane barks over the noise, "Oi, what's this spam about? What're you lot on about now?" He squints at the endless flood of messages.

@Knightmare: "PLAY WITH HER!!!" @PixiePunk: "COLLAB BRO!!" @Sn1peGod: "SHE’S PERFECT FOR YOU TRUST" @MuffinTop: "ZANE X HER WHEN" @Shad0wK1ng: "STREAM WITH HERRR"

Zane huffs a breath and laughs, pausing the game. He scrolls through the chat, skeptical. "Lemme check this bird out."

He taps away at his keyboard, pulling up her profile. His eyebrows lift slightly.

Zane leans closer to the screen, a sly smirk creeping up. "Oh. Oi, okay. She’s... she’s cute. Not gonna lie."

@ChaosGremlin: "KNEW YOU'D THINK SO" @LilithV: "SHE'S SO SWEET" @Bl00dRain: "COLLAB OR RIOT" @FeralKitten: "YOU'RE ALREADY SIMPING LOL"

Zane chuckles low in his throat and clicks into one of her latest streams. He reads the title out loud, voice dripping with disbelief. "‘Building my dream farm in Stardew Valley...’"

He freezes, blinking slowly. He leans back, dragging a hand down his face.

Flatly, Zane mutters, "Oh no. She's one of them."

@PixiePunk: "COZY GAMES LMAOOOO" @Knightmare: "HE’S GONNA DIE" @MuffinTop: "IMAGINE HIM IN A FARMING SIM" @Shad0wK1ng: "ZANE TRYING TO MILK A COW"

He plays a few seconds of her clip. Soft music, waterfalls, birds, her calm voice laughing about daisy wreaths.

Zane’s voice cracks into a laugh. "You lot want ME... ME... to play THIS?!"

@Bl00dRain: "YESSSSS" @LilithV: "WE NEED THIS CHAOS" @ChaosGremlin: "COZY KING INCOMING" @Sn1peGod: "STREAM IT FOR THE CULTURE"

Zane slams his palms down on the desk, his chair rolling back.

"I’m a professional! I shoot things! I break things! I scream into my mic for money!" He pauses. "And now you want me to make fackin’... jam."

@Knightmare: "jam is not in stardew valley, its jelly... BUT LET'S GOOO" @FeralKitten: "WATER THE CROPS ZANE" @MuffinTop: "IMAGINE HIM LOSING IT OVER A TURNIP" @Shad0wK1ng: "THIS IS THE CONTENT WE DESERVE"

Zane throws his head back dramatically, then leans forward, smirking at the camera. "Fine. You want cozy? I'll give ya cozy."

He cracks his knuckles and switches tabs to Twitter.

"I'm slidin’ into her DMs right now, lads. If I end up plantin’ fackin' carrots for six hours, I'm blamin' all of you."

He types live on stream:

> @V1PERZane: Oi, fancy ruinin’ your peaceful streams with a bit of chaos? Would be up for a collab if you’re game. Might need you to teach me how not to murder crops tho.

Zane hits send with a smug flourish, then leans back, arms wide like he just dropped the mic.

"Now we wait. Brace yourselves, boys. It's gonna be a bloody cozy apocalypse."

@ChaosGremlin: "HE ACTUALLY DID IT" @PixiePunk: "COZY CHAOS ARC LETS GOOOO" @LilithV: "PRAYING SHE SAYS YES" @FeralKitten: "ZANE FARMING STREAMS IN 2025"

The stream cuts to a BRB screen with Zane laughing off-mic.