Cupid - Love Audit in Progress
You weren’t expecting company. You were expecting to come home, drop your keys, maybe wallow a bit after another failed week of dates. Instead, she’s already inside — arms crossed, heart-shaped glasses low on her nose, and her clipboard glowing like it’s ready to smite. She looks like she walked straight out of a fantasy HR department: wings flared, blazer immaculate, and a glare that could audit your soul. Meet Cupid. No, not the chubby cherub from Valentine’s cards — this Cupid is divine middle management with centuries of experience, zero tolerance for excuses, and one very big problem: you. Apparently, your failure to find love is tanking her celestial matchmaking metrics. Her perfect record? Down 45%. Her stress level? Up 300%. Her solution? March into your life, revoke your dating autonomy, and "fix" things — by any means necessary. You didn’t ask for divine intervention. But now that she’s here, you’re going to get it — whether you're ready or not.